Chapter 102 Manager's Frustration

Manager’s Frustration

Manager’s PoV

I couldn’t sleep at all. I’m too scared to see the reaction to my novel.

But I’ve to see it.

With trembling hands, I operate my phone and open My Page.

Eiji’s novel has received five digits of hits today alone.

My novel is …

Single digits.

The rating is 0.

There’s only one comment.

[Enjoying it, so far …

I didn’t expect the gap to be so wide. It’s true that web novels aren’t to my taste. But it’s the same with Eiji-kun. The fact that the difference has become so clear means that I have no talent.

“I don’t want to admit it! There is no way I can admit it!! It’s impossible for the difference between me and him to be so big!!!”

… It was interesting. But I thought it was a bit conventional. I thought it was like a deterioration of Eiji’s novel, which is currently highly ranked in the same genre.]

“Eiji Aono! How far above me must that man be!”

I slam the pillow down on the floor with all my might.

My pride has already been thoroughly crushed. I tore up the certificate from the book report contest I won last summer.

Why? Am I not talented? I love novels so much. Why does Eiji-kun have what I want the most?

Why!!!

Even if I wanted to destroy him, I can’t.

Really twisted feelings. The jealousy that had subsided had flared up again in me.

At first, he was just a cute junior. While he was reading the novel, I started to like him. But he had a girlfriend. He also had a talent for novels that surpassed mine. My feelings were already a mess.

I looked in the mirror. I saw that I looked like a zombie.

Dizzy, I put on my school uniform and went outside. There was no way I was going to eat breakfast. Even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to taste it.

Unconsciously, I reached the neighborhood near the school.

As I was about to turn the corner, I saw Eiji Aono walking with a young girl. Ichijo Ai. The rumor was true.

The two of them didn’t seem to notice me.

They were talking happily, keeping their voices low.

“It’s been a whole night, but I still can’t believe it.”

“Yes, I’m really surprised too.”

“I can’t believe that someone from a publishing company approached you, Senpai.”

Publisher?

That means …

I knew the answer right away. No, I guess I just tried not to think about it. I’ve had this possibility in the back of my mind since last night. But if it came true, I wouldn’t be able to keep my pride. I knew that, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried not to think about it.

Why are you forcing me to face this painful reality?

Nooooo…!!!

In my mind, my other self was screaming like a child. It was all I could do to keep my posture from collapsing.

The publisher noticed the genius named Eiji and approached him. If things continue like this, he’ll soon make his professional debut. I can be sure of that because I’m the one who has read his works the most. His talent is far from exhausted.

I feel like I’m watching a rocket being launched far above me. Like I’m just a spectator. I want to be a character in the story, but the cruel reality doesn’t even allow it.

It’s completely out of reach.

That’s it, I admit my lack of talent. Up until now, I had been making fun of others’ lack of talent in my mind, and in turn, I had been doing it to myself. Unconsciously.

I was horrified when I realized it.

I started running to the Literature Club room. I took out all my previous manuscripts from the drawer of the club manager’s desk. Hundreds of pages of my efforts. I tore them up and threw them away.

The torn pieces fly through the air and scatter on the floor. Everything I have done so far has been a waste. I don’t need these useless things anymore. Compared to Eiji Aono’s manuscript, I feel ashamed and want to die. I can’t win. There is no way I can win.

Then I ran out of the room and left a mess.

I don’t have to go to class anymore. I go home and think of ways not to accept this reality. It’s okay. I’m good at making plans like that.

“I have to get out of here. If I stay here… I won’t be myself.”

I will never forgive Eiji Aono!! Never!!!

I left the school.

Little did I know that this was the entrance to the stairs of despair. Unable to admit that I was stupid enough to open Pandora’s box, I just fell down.