Chapter 28: Epilogue… Tachibana Ayane (4)
Epilogue… Tachibana Ayane (4)
After being violated by my childhood friend, I wanted to wash away the filth inside and out, so I went straight home. Without even listening to my mom’s greeting, I headed to the bathroom, crying as I tried to scrub away the dirt under the shower, but no matter how many times I washed, my body never felt clean.
“Enough already, get out of there!”
My mom’s voice snapped me back to my senses as she banged on the bathroom door. Hiding my trembling voice, I told her I wasn’t feeling well. Without eating dinner, I crawled under the covers in my room, doing everything I could to keep her from seeing my face.
I thought about confessing to Ryou-chan that Yoshioka Minato had assaulted me, but I was terrified that he would hate me. My trembling fingers hovered over the call button again and again, but I couldn’t bring myself to press it. Tears blurred the letters on the screen until I could no longer see them, and in the end, I couldn’t tell anyone anything. Morning came, and it was time to go to school.
“I can’t… do this anymore…”
Whispering that to myself in the quiet room, I got ready for school, though I had no energy for morning practice. I left home at the usual time, sat on the bench in the park where Ryou-chan had confessed to me, and stayed there until just before I would be late, then dragged my heavy steps toward school.
“Ryou-chan… I’m sorry…”
Every time I saw the face of the person I loved, I could only whisper apologies to myself. Whenever our eyes met, I felt as if he could see through me, and I could no longer face him like before.
“Ayane-chan?”
“No… don’t come near me.”
As if to mock my pain for not being able to meet or speak with the person I loved, Yoshioka Minato, who sat in front of me, stayed close even when I wanted to push him away, acting as if he were taking Ryou-chan’s place. I spent my days desperately focused on making sure Ryou-chan would never find out about what had happened between us.
“Ayane-chan, want to eat lunch together again today?”
“No… today I’ll eat with Ryou-chan…”
“Did you say something?”
“…No. It’s nothing.”
“Good.”
Even though it had only been since yesterday, I wanted to run away from the boy in front of me but couldn’t. I tried to stand up and take a step toward the person I loved, but in the end, the only thing I could do was sit back down in my chair.
“Ryou-chan…”
“Right? I bought this for you, Ayane-chan. Let’s eat it together.”
“Yeah…”
My legs gave out beneath me as if drained of strength. Sitting inside an invisible cage, I faced him and ate the tasteless lunch. Then, from the hallway, I heard Ryou-chan’s voice. When I turned my head, he saw me eating lunch alone with Yoshioka Minato, and his words stopped mid-sentence. I faintly heard him mutter that he wouldn’t invite me anymore, and reflexively, I stood up and called out to him, but Ryou-chan ran down the hallway without looking back.
“Ryou-chan…”
“Haha… Ryouta’s face just now was priceless.”
“…”
“Ayane-chan, when you finish eating, let’s go.”
“…”
During lunch break, he took me to the boys’ basketball clubroom near the gym. On the way there, I saw Ryou-chan sleeping on a bench. I wanted to cling to him and beg for help, but I couldn’t say it. Instead, I gazed at his sleeping face, which I hadn’t seen up close in so long. Using the towel he had given me as a present, the one I always carried with me, I placed it under his head to protect his sore-looking neck, then walked toward the clubroom.
“Ryou-chan, I wish you had woken up…”
I had no idea that what would happen in that clubroom afterward would be overheard by Ryou-chan himself.