Chapter 23: Parting with Touya-kun, My True Feelings (Eri, Age 20 to Present)
Parting with Touya-kun, My True Feelings (Eri, Age 20 to Present)
“I’m really… sorry, please break up with me…”
After returning to Tokyo, I contacted Touya-kun and arranged to meet him.
Having reunited with Shuu and realized my true feelings, I made the decision to end my relationship with Touya-kun.
Even if I were to be called selfish and the worst kind of woman, it couldn’t be helped. I did like Touya-kun, but I realized that Shuu had always been within me, and that I loved him far more deeply.
To think I couldn’t realize it until it came to this… I was filled with nothing but guilt toward both Touya-kun and Shuu.
“I understand, I won’t ask the reason… ahaha… I guess I really wasn’t enough after all… to heal your heart, Eri…”
“…I’m truly sorry…”
“Don’t apologize… I had always known, but pretended not to. Still, thank you… be happy, Eri.”
“Thank you… Touya-kun, I was happy…”
Grateful to Touya-kun, who had healed my broken heart and remained kind to the very end, we shook hands and parted.
That day, I cried… and cried… in my apartment room for the entire day.
And the next day, I began preparing to move out of my apartment.
The lease was actually until graduation, but I felt I shouldn’t stay there any longer.
I contacted my school and also asked them to decline the job offer I had already received.
It was a video production company, but I had resolved never to make the same mistake again, so I had no regrets.
Never again, I told myself. I would never let go again.
I spoke with my mother on the phone and got her to understand.
I had done something terrible to her too, since she had spent money to support my dream. I knew I had to repay her, little by little, from now on.
Even so, my mother told me,
“Eri’s happiness is my greatest happiness.”
Hearing that, I was once again grateful for my mother’s deep love.
And three weeks after reuniting with Shuu, once I had wrapped up my life in Tokyo, I moved into the apartment where Shuu was living alone.
At first, I only intended to stay two or three days, but being beside Shuu felt so comfortable that I stayed one day, then another. By the time I graduated from vocational school, we were practically living together.
I returned to Tokyo once to graduate, but I never saw Touya-kun again. I immediately went back to my hometown to continue living with Shuu.
I was happy.
Just talking, even in silence, made me happy. Simply walking beside him filled me with the certainty that “this is it.”
Our walking pace, the sense of distance, the comfort and fulfillment of joining our bodies, everything fit perfectly.
What had been natural in high school was no longer natural, but something incredible. I had once given up and taken a detour, but at last, foolish me was able to realize it.
…Touya-kun, I’m truly sorry. Thank you for loving someone like me.
Because of the year I spent with you, I have the happiness I do now.
While feeling grateful to Touya-kun, I continued my new life with Shuu.
Shuu proposed to me in the park full of memories.
In the end, I never told him about Touya-kun. Kohaku-san and Yae-chan had told me, “If no one asks, there’s no need to say anything,” and not wanting to ruin my current relationship with Shuu, I kept the matter of Touya-kun hidden in my heart even after marrying him.
And so began my married life with Shuu.
It was truly happy. There were hardships too, but with Shuu as my husband, I felt we could support each other and overcome anything.
But…
Three years into our marriage, Shuu was working hard as president of the construction company, and to support him, I worked from home using the skills I had learned in vocational school to help with video production.
My main work was video editing for music videos that singers, known as utaite, uploaded to video sites.
Occasionally, people I had worked with before contacted me directly to request video production.
It paid more than assisting, but since the requests mostly came from newcomers like singers or streamers who weren’t very well known yet, the workload wasn’t that heavy. Since my top priority was my married life with Shuu, the amount of work was just right for me.
But one day, I was asked if I could be the main creator for a video of a famous utaite, and was offered an amount far higher than I had ever received before.
Since I had also begun thinking about starting a family with Shuu, I decided to accept the offer.
When I told Shuu about it, he was delighted, and I too was motivated for the sake of our future. But then…
“…Eh? Wh-why…?”
When I went to the location where I was told to come for the video production meeting, the person waiting there was…
“It’s been a while. So it really was you, Eri, the video designer behind that work.”
“T-Touya-kun…”
It was Touya-kun, whom I was meeting again after four years.
He had grown into a full-fledged adult, and I thought he had become a wonderful man.
His gentle smile hadn’t changed, but for some reason, I thought his eyes looked a little frightening.
“You’re working under the name ‘Elf,’ right? Because of ‘Furue’? …Ah, but now you’re married, so it’s ‘Kuroda,’ isn’t it?”
“Y-yeah…”
I wondered who had told him I was married. After all, I hadn’t told anyone, since I had grown distant from my old classmates due to living far apart in Tokyo and also because of what had happened with Touya-kun.
“Ahaha, I only heard from people in the industry. Don’t look so suspicious.”
He was smiling, but I couldn’t tell what he was really thinking. I knew gentle Touya-kun wouldn’t do such a thing, yet even so, it felt like a sharp pain pierced my heart.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being blamed for having dumped Touya-kun selfishly and still ending up happy.
After that, we continued our work meeting as normal, but I couldn’t focus.
Every so often, in the middle of our conversation, Touya-kun would glance at the ring on my left hand.
His gaze felt cold, and each time, my sense of guilt grew heavier and heavier.
“Alright, then I’ll ask you to handle it like this… Ah! After this, you’ll be meeting with the person taking over my role. I’m leaving the company due to circumstances, so today I only came directly to greet you as part of the handover.”
“I-I see…”
Does this mean today is the last time I’ll see Touya-kun?
Did he notice that I felt just a little… really just a little relieved? Because then Touya-kun said,
“The truth is… I have a serious illness, and I’ve been told I don’t have long to live.”
What…
“And so… when I heard that, I couldn’t help but want to see you at least once more, Eri.”
When he told me that, the look in Touya-kun’s eyes…
Was exactly like mine back then, when I could never forget Shuu.