Chapter 20: Meeting Touya-kun, and Then Dating (Eri, Vocational School)

Meeting Touya-kun, and Then Dating (Eri, Vocational School)

Three months after coming to Tokyo to attend vocational school, a large hole still remained in my heart.

My days consisted only of going back and forth between school and the apartment where I lived.

The bright future I had imagined was gone, and only a faded world remained inside me.

I couldn’t count how many times I thought about quitting school, or how many times I thought about contacting Shuu. But I couldn’t do either, and I just dragged myself through each day.

It was at that time, when I had lost all my dreams and hopes, that Sawada Touya-kun appeared before me.

“Furue-san.”

I knew his face because we were classmates, but at the time I hardly ever spoke to anyone. I spent most of my time sitting alone at my desk in the classroom reading a book, so I was surprised the first time he spoke to me.

I had overheard my classmates whispering that I gave off a gloomy vibe and never spoke to anyone, so I never imagined someone would actually try to talk to me.

“You’re always reading books, but what are you reading?”

“…Eh, ah, um… a novel…”

I couldn’t say that I was reading a popular romance novel of the time because I was searching for parts that overlapped with my memories of Shuu, so I gave only a vague answer.

“Ah! That’s the one they say is going to be made into a movie, right?”

That became the starting point, and after that he began talking to me from time to time.

My first impression was that he had a gentle aura and a kind smile. He seemed like the complete opposite of Shuu, who always laughed energetically with his slightly intimidating face.

Maybe he was being considerate of the fact that I couldn’t fit in with the class, but during breaks or after school he would come to talk to me with other classmates, and sometimes he even invited me to hang out with them. Gradually, we became closer.

Still, even though we grew closer, it was only as classmates. Because I couldn’t forget Shuu, I couldn’t see Touya-kun as the opposite sex, and romance was something I hadn’t even considered. But then, one day…

“Furue-san… I like you. Please go out with me.”

I had already somewhat sensed his feelings, but just before winter break of my first year at vocational school, Touya-kun confessed to me.

“…I’m sorry, I just can’t think about romance right now.”

“Ahaha, I figured… but that means you don’t hate me, right? I’ll just try harder so that one day you’ll look my way!”

Even though I turned him down, he didn’t give up. During winter break he kept contacting me and kept telling me that he liked me.

For me, spending a lonely winter break without going back to my hometown, Touya-kun became my only conversation partner.

He invited me out when I was alone in my apartment, sometimes we ate meals together, and he even asked me to go with him to the first shrine visit of the year.

As I spent my days like that, I began to think that maybe I couldn’t keep clinging to the past forever. Maybe it was time to start facing forward.

In order to forget about Shuu.

Thinking that way… no, it would be more accurate to say I ended up thinking that way. When winter break ended, I finally accepted one of Touya-kun’s many confessions and decided to start dating him.

Once we began going out, I realized that Touya-kun was extremely considerate and kind.

He was the type of man who gently covered the wounds I carried in my heart so that they would not be hurt.

It also helped that we shared a common interest in wanting to work in video production, and I found myself being drawn more and more to Touya-kun.

But no matter what, Shuu always lingered in the corner of my mind.

In the middle of conversations or while we were together, sometimes I would suddenly think, “If it were Shuu…” But then I would forcefully shake it off, telling myself it was over and I had to forget, and chose to move forward.

When we became second-year students, we continued dating while also talking with each other about our future paths.

“Eri, you’re still aiming to be a video creator, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking I’ll go for it.”

“The videos you make are always so detailed, careful, and beautiful. I even use your sense of color as reference.”

While dating Touya-kun, I gradually started wanting to pursue video-related work again.

It wasn’t just because he praised the music-video-like clips I had made as a hobby, giving me confidence, but also because he was striving toward the same path.

At that time, what felt most important to me was that I could walk this path together with Touya-kun.

Thanks to Touya-kun, I, who had once been so withdrawn, became a little brighter, and I began to feel that the time we spent together was truly happy.

His personality, his attitude toward working toward his future dreams, and even as a boyfriend, there were things I respected. Influenced by him, I was able to have dreams again too.

We held hands when we went out, we kissed, we joined our bodies together, and the big hole that had once been empty inside me was being filled by Touya-kun’s presence.

But sometimes, from the small gaps in the lid that covered that hole, I felt as if guilt toward Shuu would seep out.

That was why I could never take off the pendant.

Since we were lovers, there were many times when he sought my body.

Even then, I kept the pendant on.

Whenever I didn’t hear the sound of the pendant clinking together, a sharp pain would stab my chest, and a feeling of loneliness would well up inside me.

But telling myself that I mustn’t remember, I forced a lid on my heart, and sought him myself in order to forget.

And then…

Just before winter break of my second year, I received a phone call from Kohaku-san, with whom I had still occasionally kept in touch even after coming to Tokyo.

[Eri-chan, it’s been a while. How have you been?]

“Yeah, I’m fine. Did something happen?”

Whenever Kohaku-san contacted me, it was usually to complain about, or more often brag about, her boyfriend Obatake Riki-kun.

Listening to those stories while remembering my high school days was a little painful, but hearing about a friend’s happiness and news from my hometown still made me glad.

Just like when Yae-chan contacted me, I appreciated that she never once brought up Shuu.

Because I knew that if I heard about him, my heart would absolutely break.

That sudden phone call from Kohaku-san.

[The truth is… I haven’t told anyone yet, but I’ve decided to marry Riki.]

“Eh…”

With Obatake-kun…

[And you know? The coming-of-age ceremony is soon, right? So I thought I’d tell everyone after that. That’s why…]

I was about to say “Congratulations,” but hearing the words that followed, I froze.

[Eri-chan, can’t you come back too? …Because we’re going to invite Kuroda-kun as well.]