Chapter 49: Name

Name

Standing before my former home, I was utterly shaken. Once I had regained my composure, I boarded a bus heading toward my family’s home. Our next destination was the family grave.

As the bus rattled along, I quietly gazed out at the passing scenery.

Sitting beside me was Tachibana-san.

But neither of us was in the mood to speak, so we remained silent.

The scenery outside, painted in the hues of the setting sun, was gradually becoming more familiar.

The bamboo grove lining the roadside.

The commercial complex just beyond the grove, with its many parked cars.

The high school where I once met Kaori.

Familiar sights stretched out before me.

The bus pulled up at the next stop. Among the boarding passengers were several students wearing the same uniform I once wore.

Were they heading to club activities?

Or was it part of some school event?

In that school, I too had my fair share of youthful days.

Racing through the hallways with my friends.

Dozing off in class on days I lost my motivation.

Graduation ceremony.

Entrance ceremony.

“Are you okay?”

And then, I met Kaori.

My time with Kaori lasted less than a year. But in that short span, we visited many places together and made countless memories.

Yet, here in this town, I haven’t found a single trace of the person I once was.

Tachibana-san once said something.

That my current state might be a form of memory disorder afflicting Saito Iori.

…Given this incomprehensible reality, I was beginning to think she might be right.

But nothing has been confirmed yet.

So far, all I know is that my old workplace has been reduced to an empty lot, and my former home has been taken over by someone else. That’s all.

And yet… I couldn’t shake the unease.

Were those joyful memories nothing but lies?

Was my youth nothing more than an illusion?

These thoughts consumed me.

Or perhaps…

If it meant facing the reality of my misfortune head-on…

Then maybe, just maybe, it would be easier to accept that I was the one who was abnormal. That’s what I thought.

“Let’s get off.”

Outside, night was approaching.

By then, we had arrived at our destination.

My family’s grave was located in a clearing near the mountaintop.

Here, the truth would be revealed.

Not just some vague notion of whether I had been unlucky.

I had thought about it constantly.

Ever since the day I found myself in Iori’s body, not a day had passed without wondering—

What had happened to me?

Why was I in this body?

…Was I even alive?

The answer was finally within reach.

Stepping over gravel, I passed the temple and made my way toward the stairs at the side.

Climbing the steep steps—challenging even for the elderly—I walked past several gravestones.

“It’s beautiful.”

A voice murmured behind me.

From this mountainside graveyard, one could see the entire town. The cityscape at this hour, just as the lights in the houses began to glow, carried a nostalgic air.

“…This way.”

My family’s grave was a little further up.

Each time I came to visit, I would get lost in the view instead of tending to the grave. That’s how much I loved this scenery.

But now, I couldn’t afford to be captivated by it.

“Here it is.”

At last, I arrived.

At my family’s grave.

The area around the grave was neatly maintained. The undergrowth, which often grew wild, had been properly trimmed today.

However… on the offering stand, only a few wilted flowers and burnt-out incense remained.

Slowly, I took in the sight of my family’s grave.

Finding this place felt like discovering proof that I had existed.

And then…

“Well?”

Growing impatient, Tachibana-san asked quietly.

I didn’t answer her yet.

I couldn’t bring myself to.

I knew it was there.

But if I saw it… it felt like something would come to an end.

I didn’t want to know.

But I had to know.

That’s right. I came all this way to find out.

I had always wondered.

I had always been afraid.

Ever since I found myself in Iori’s body, I kept questioning what had become of my own.

Anxiety, regret, endless doubt.

I had dragged Tachibana-san into this, and yet…

At last, I had made it here.

I was scared.

Terrified.

Uncertain.

But I couldn’t let those feelings stop me anymore.

Resolving myself, I looked.

The epitaph.

The gravestone bore the names and ages of the deceased.

If I were truly dead…

My name should be there.

…On this gravestone.

“…Well? What does it say?”

I heard Tachibana-san’s anxious voice.

“I know it’s painful… but please, tell me.”

Her voice grew increasingly pained.

“You told me, didn’t you? That you might do something reckless, so you wanted me to come with you. And I was happy. I was happy that you relied on me.”

I felt no guilt for making her worry.

“So… tell me. Let me share this burden. No matter how heavy it is, I’ll bear it with you… so please.”

I was no longer calm enough to process emotions like that.

“…It wasn’t there.”

Stunned, I muttered.

“It wasn’t there. My name… wasn’t here.”

I didn’t need to look anymore.

No matter how long I stared, the result wouldn’t change.

“Let’s go. It’s… enough.”

“…Alright.”

Tachibana-san followed as I walked away.

“You were planning to return today, right? Should we find a place to stay? If we take the bus now, we probably won’t make it back.”

“…Yeah.”

We left the grave behind.