Chapter 39: Aligning Interests

Aligning Interests

I was more than a little shocked by what Kotaka-san told me.

It wasn’t just the idea of siblings being in that kind of relationship—what surprised me more were the words of Kotaka-san, who had always radiated such an intense adoration for her brother.

“Even though I’m being held by someone I truly love and care for, I don’t feel happy at all.”

Even back when I was dating Yuna, the first time we were together, we didn’t passionately desire each other, but I still felt a sense of happiness.

But judging from Kotaka-san’s demeanor, where she still clearly admires her brother, the conclusion I’m led to is…

“Does Kotaka-san’s brother really love her when he holds her like that?”

At my blunt words, Kotaka-san’s face showed hurt, and she muttered sadly.

“…I guess that’s how it is, huh?”

“Hmm, I don’t really know either. I mean, I wouldn’t want to do it with someone I don’t like.”

I answered honestly, since I couldn’t understand the feelings of Kotaka-san’s brother or the late senpai from the drama club.

Hearing my words, Kotaka-san seemed to realize something. After muttering to herself a few times, she looked up and made a surprising proposal.

“…Then, should I try it with you, senpai?”

Kotaka-san’s unexpected statement.

I was glad I hadn’t taken a sip of coffee just then.

“Wait, do you even understand what you’re saying?”

“Of course. Honestly, I was the same as you, senpai. I thought that if I were to be held, it should be by someone I love—that se_x was a sacred act shared between two people who deeply care for each other… But even though I was held by someone I supposedly love, I felt nothing. No emotions welled up inside me—just emptiness.”

What she was saying was outrageous, but Kotaka-san’s eyes were serious.

“Even so, I think that conclusion is too much of a leap.”

“Is it? I’d definitely feel disgusted if some stranger held me, but with you, senpai, even if I don’t love you, I trust you. Isn’t that the perfect setup for testing this?”

“What about my feelings in all this?”

“Huh!? Don’t guys feel happy if they get to hold a cute girl?”

In a way, she had a point, but I was a little different.

“Hey, I told you earlier. I don’t want to do it with someone I don’t like.”

“Isn’t that exactly why this is a good test? Because we both have someone else we love?”

“No, as for me, the person I like is…”

I was about to say “no one,” but the words wouldn’t come out.

“See, you don’t have to hide it from me. Besides, the person you’re worried about is your sister, right?”

Even though we hadn’t known each other long, she hit the nail on the head, and I was a little surprised.

“How did you know?”

“Ehehe, you smell just like me right now… but no sniffing yourself as a cliché reaction, okay?”

As she laughed, Kotaka-san’s eyes reminded me a little of my sister, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang in my chest.

Seeing me at a loss for words, Kotaka-san kindly continued the conversation.

“Senpai. Let’s put my situation aside for now. Tell me about yours. What’s been going on?”

Prompted by Kotaka-san, I explained my sister’s recent behavior.

First, how she’s been coming home late at night.

“Haven’t you asked her why?”

“Apparently, she was chosen to be on the school festival committee, so she’s been really busy with that.”

“Hmm, so that’s the official reason, but maybe there’s something suspicious going on behind the scenes?”

“No, not at all.”

When she comes home, she’s always busy looking over plans and documents, so it’s hard to believe she’s lying.

“…Well, is there anything else?”

“Also, she’s been wearing a different perfume lately. It used to be a citrus scent that I liked.”

“I see. So it’s suspicious that her preferences suddenly changed?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure. It’s still a fruity scent, so it’s not that different.”

When she changed it, she even asked for my opinion and had me smell it on her neck. It was a sweet peach scent that I liked, so I told her, and now she’s been wearing that one more often.

“Um, well… but maybe there was some reason she decided to change it… Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

Kotaka-san seemed confused.

It’s true that this alone wouldn’t make much sense.

“Ah, the main point is over here.”

I showed her several photos that had been sent to me via email.

“Ah, is this beautiful woman in the photo your sister? And this handsome guy next to her looks pretty close to her. Is this a photo of them kissing?”

“Yeah, probably. So the thing I wanted to talk about is how these photos make me feel really uncomfortable. It’s like there’s sludge building up in the depths of my heart, and it feels disgusting. It’s weird, right? She’s my sister, so if she has a boyfriend, I should be happy for her, but…”

Deep down, I knew that my sister would eventually find someone she loves and drift away, but I still believed we’d remain siblings. Even so, my feelings were in turmoil.

“Ehehe, I get it. I really do. I felt the same way when my brother told me he was dating that trash, Kuzumi.”

As soon as we got to the main topic, Kotaka-san’s eyes lit up, and she leaned into the conversation. I guess it’s true what they say about those with experience.

So, I decided to ask her one thing.

“Then, do you know what this uncomfortable feeling really is?”

“Yes, of course. It’s jealousy.”

“Jealousy? But she’s my sister, and it’s completely different from how I felt with Yuna…”

Yes, it was different from how I felt with Yuna—more insidious, clingy, and oppressive. A dark, sinking, indescribable discomfort that was definitely lurking deep within me.

“If it were me, I’d say there’s no reason to hesitate if you truly love your sister, but given how things turned out for me, I can’t really talk.”

Kotaka-san let out a heavy sigh.

But I could tell she was trying to encourage me.

Still, I couldn’t quite understand it.

Of course, I love my sister. She’s the most important person in my family, and I want her to be happy.

If that’s the case, then shouldn’t I step aside and let her go, even if it’s a late separation? But every time I try to think that way, something deep inside me greedily clings to her.

And if I give in to that, I know it’ll lead to something irreversible.

The moment I thought that, a wave of disgust rose from the pit of my stomach.

I desperately tried to suppress the nausea that threatened to overwhelm me.

“Ugh…”

“Senpai, are you okay?”

Apparently, my face had turned pale, because Kotaka-san came over to my side and rubbed my back.

Her scent was different from my sister’s—a faint soapy fragrance.

Once again, that murky something began to rise from the depths of my stomach.

“Hey, Kotaka-san. I’ve changed my mind. I’ll accept your proposal from earlier.”

And so, unable to bear it any longer, I chose Kotaka-san, who I’d only just gotten closer to, as a sacrifice. All to keep my precious sister from being tainted.

“Senpai, what are you saying? You look like you’re in so much pain…”

Even though she was the one who proposed it, Kotaka-san now seemed hesitant.

Impatient, I pulled her close and whispered in her ear.

“Thank you, but it’s okay. I’ve started to wonder too. If I really love my sister, wouldn’t I feel the same way you do?”

Reacting to my words, Kotaka-san gently pushed me away.

But her eyes were locked straight on mine.

“Senpai…Okay. We both have someone we truly love. But if we cross that line together, I want to know what kind of emotions we’ll feel.”

“Yeah. I want to know what this really is too.”

I stared firmly at Kotaka-san.

She silently nodded.

And with that, we left the café and headed toward the hotel district.