Chapter 36: The Sister’s Conflict
#24OchitaKanojoThe Sister’s Conflict
I gently pull away from Yuki, who had been in my arms just moments ago.
He must be completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, because he’s sound asleep.
Feeling sluggish, I head to the bathroom for a shower, setting the temperature high and letting the water pour over my head.
The scalding water, hot enough to make me instinctively recoil, rains down on me. My skin stings, and suddenly, guilt surges within me…
For deceiving Yuki once again.
I know, logically, that things can’t continue like this.
That’s why I entrusted him to Yuna, at least once.
In reality, Yuki had started to regain himself, little by little. But then, that betrayal happened. And yet, despite my frustration, a part of me felt relieved.
Because even Yuna, who had been with Yuki far longer than I had, couldn’t save him, allowing me to justify my belief—Yuki needs me.
Even I know how utterly self-serving that thought is.
I want to stay by Yuki’s side, and deep down, part of me is fine with him remaining as he is.
But the truth is, I shouldn’t be pulling away—I should be walking alongside him.
Facing the past, taking even small steps forward—that should be the path I wish for him.
But at the same time, as I watch the hollow shell of Yuki, a version even Yuna never saw, I can’t help but wonder… Can he really enjoy a “normal” life like everyone else…?
Back then, Yuki was truly broken.
An empty husk—a doll in human form, devoid of a soul.
He stopped reacting to anything at all.
If I were to put it in a cliché way, his heart had shattered.
Of course, it was inevitable. After all, his own mother murdered his beloved stepmother and father—right before his eyes, and because of him.
I can’t even begin to imagine the guilt and sense of loss he felt. How many times did he curse himself for being powerless, for unwittingly inviting such tragedy?
Thankfully, he never turned to self-harm.
Instead, he tore his own heart apart, shattering it to pieces.
Of course, we took him to specialists.
We even used Dad’s company connections to consult numerous doctors.
But Yuki never improved.
By sheer chance, I became the catalyst that led him to recover, even to this extent.
Yet, this only fueled my arrogance, strengthening my possessiveness.
I was the one who pulled Yuki from the depths of despair. That means Yuki needs me. If I’m not by his side, he might fall apart again.
Those thoughts come to me so naturally, without hesitation.
Even though it’s a lie. Even though I’ve built this illusion, pretending I saved him when I couldn’t do anything on my own.
I keep deceiving Yuki while playing the role of his sister. I claim I want to save him, yet prioritize staying by his side—how cowardly of me.
But what I despise most about myself is this: I tell myself I want to heal him, yet as a woman, I take pleasure in holding him. I know Yuki isn’t embracing me—and still, like a scavenger feasting on scraps, I revel in the moment.
No, comparing myself to a hyena would be an insult to them. At least hyenas hunt for themselves.
That stray thought snaps me out of my downward spiral.
By now, I’ve grown accustomed to the scalding shower—the sting is gone.
Realizing I’m feeling slightly lightheaded, I step unsteadily out of the bathroom, return to my room, apply a bit of lotion, and change into my pajamas.
I intend to slip into bed, but… I want to be near Yuki as myself. I return to where he sleeps, wrap my arms around him as me, and drift off.
The next morning, I wake to Yuki’s startled voice.
“N-Nee-san… why are you…?”
Yuki’s face turns bright red as he finds himself wrapped in my embrace.
Seeing him react to me properly fills me with an odd sense of relief.
“Fwaah, you don’t remember?”
My mind is still hazy, and I let out a natural yawn. Given the circumstances, it’s only natural that Yuki wouldn’t remember anything.
“Um… yesterday, I suddenly felt unwell…”
“That’s right. So I let you sleep in this bigger bed, and since I was worried, I stayed by your side. At some point, I must have fallen asleep too.”
I explain yesterday’s events to Yuki with a smile.
“I see… Sorry for making you worry.”
“It’s fine. But next time I get sick, you have to take care of me, okay?”
“Of course, Nee-san.”
Yuki’s innocent smile is dazzling.
For someone as deceitful as me, his purity is almost painful—it makes my chest tighten.
“I’ll go make breakfast, so take a shower while you can.”
Watching Yuki only makes me recall the ugliness inside me from last night. Unable to face him, I turn my back and walk toward the kitchen.
“Okay… Thanks.”
His voice reaches me from behind.
If he is smiling, then that is enough.
No matter how twisted my feelings are, as long as I can still bring him even the smallest smile… my guilt seems insignificant.
And when the time comes, I’ll tell him everything. If he sees it as a betrayal… then I’ll leave that decision to him.
Ever the coward, I continue to run from making the choice myself.