Chapter 4: Scared and Bento

Scared and Bento

Ugh… It feels like everyone walking past me is staring.

It’s because of this outfit—my top shows the shape of my chest too clearly, and I’m wearing a miniskirt.

I haven’t exposed my thighs this much since elementary school.

When I bought it at the store, I didn’t think it would be this revealing… It looks so different outdoors compared to indoors.

Do I look like some kind of exhibitionist? It’s so embarrassing… What if I get harassed?

It’s morning, so I should be fine, but I can’t shake the fear that people might think I’m trying to invite trouble.

Just as I was struggling with my anxiety and shame, my date arrived, and I felt a small wave of relief.

This much should be normal for a date, right? As long as I’m with a guy, no one should try anything.

He greeted me with a casual, “Sorry, did I keep you waiting?” even though he wasn’t late.

Oh… he’s a decent person.

He did look a little surprised at my outfit for a moment, but he quickly averted his eyes, as if being polite.

Someone as kind-looking as him… is really plotting to play with me alongside that sc_um_bag?

…Somehow, it’s starting to feel like maybe that’s not true.

I haven’t been to an amusement park since I was in elementary school.

Back then, my parents were still alive, and I remember it being so much fun. Even now, just being here lifts my spirits.

Of course, I’ve never been here on a date before—actually, this is my first date ever.

Realizing that makes my heart race just a little.

But then… to think that despite never even having been on a date, my vi_rg_inity was stolen by the lowest kind of sc_um, and I was humiliated again and again… It makes me unbearably sad.

As I was lost in those painful memories, dazed, my date suggested I put my bag in a coin locker.

He had a point—my bag was heavy. After all, it held two bentos and a thermos.

Oh… he really is a decent person.

He’s just… normally considerate. That simple kindness nearly brought me to tears.

After everything I’ve been through, even the smallest acts of kindness feel overwhelming.

Slinging my shoulder bag across my body, I started walking beside him.

It’s a little childish, but… when I was young, my mother told me with a smile, “If you wear it like this, you won’t forget it or get it stolen.” She helped me put on a small pouch when we visited an amusement park together.

The memory makes my chest tighten painfully.

A father from a nearby family glances at me, probably thinking my bag looks childish, but I don’t care.

I’m an adult now. I don’t get jealous of happy families anymore. I don’t cry over it.

“Are you okay with thrill rides?”

…No, I am not okay.

I’ve never been on one before, but they look terrifying just from a distance.

But it’s a theme park staple, right? I’ll give it a try.

I get on the ride, but—yeah, no, this is seriously scary.

This safety bar is the only thing keeping me in place. I clutch onto it for dear life.

“Are you really okay?”

“Fwah! I-I’m fine!”

My voice came out weird. I’m already at my limit.

“You’re amazing.”

…He’s talking about how desperate I look, isn’t he?

Oh, right. I almost forgot—I have to seduce him.

“Umm, would it be alright if I held your hand? I’m a little scared.”

Letting go of the bar was terrifying, and my palms were damp with sweat. It was incredibly embarrassing.

Oh no, we’re already moving? I need more time to mentally prepare!

The moment the ride plunges down, I scream and clutch his hand tightly.

Squeezing my eyes shut, all I can do is pray for it to be over as soon as possible.

I don’t care about anything else—just don’t let go of my hand. This is too terrifying. Please, just hold on.

When the ride finally stops, my legs are so weak I can’t even stand.

My body is completely limp from the relief of surviving that nightmare.

I’m honestly proud of myself for not wetting myself.

When he helps me down by lifting me up in his arms, the embarrassment is overwhelming.

I’ve never been held so firmly by a man before.

My head feels light… but is that because of the ride or something else?

“What do you think? Wanna try bungee jumping next?”

“Wha—!? You mean actually jumping off? No way, that’s impossible!”

That’s an insane suggestion.

I was already terrified out of my mind, and now he says that?! And why is he smiling a little? Is he teasing me? That’s just cruel!

But… I must have looked so ridiculously scared that even I find it a little funny.

“Fufu, I think so too. The ones who actually do it must be crazy.”

Just knowing I won’t have to go through anything that terrifying again makes me feel relieved.

When he asks where I’d like to go next, I answer, “The haunted house.”

After all, if I’m going to use my charms, that’s the best place to do it.

He doesn’t seem too eager… Well, he is an adult, so I guess that makes sense.

The moment we step inside, hands reach out from the darkness, brushing against my shoulders and ankles.

It’s not the ghosts that scare me—it’s the men touching me. It reminds me of that sc_um.

“Kyaa! So scary!”

Help me.

I’m really scared.

He steps in front of me, shielding me from the hands reaching out.

“Aah! Wait for me!”

Don’t leave me alone!

I have no choice but to cling to him.

The haunted house actors keep reaching for me until I latch onto him. Once I do, they stop.

I guess that’s part of the attraction’s service, but I really don’t need it.

When we finally step outside, I’m relieved—but my face is still burning red.

I clung to him way too much. If this were a test in seduction, I’d say I passed.

But… on a first date, hugging someone like that? He must think I’m such a shameless woman. I feel disgusted with myself.

When I pull out the bento from my bag, he looks genuinely surprised.

He probably didn’t expect me to bring a homemade meal on a first date.

…Well, of course he didn’t.

I hadn’t planned on making one either, but Grandma found out I was going on a date and ended up pushing me into it.

Oh no… It seems Grandma figured everything out—how I bought new clothes in a boutique’s paper bag and practiced my makeup in front of the mirror. It’s obvious.

“If you want to capture a man’s heart, start with his stomach!” she declared, spouting the kind of cliché only the elderly seem to love.

And so, with her help, I was dragged into waking up early to prepare this bento.

“Wow… You’re really good at cooking. This is amazing.”

I had been worried—our homemade bentos always get called old-fashioned, not trendy at all. But he praised it so openly, his voice full of enthusiasm.

From the look on his face, I could tell he genuinely meant it.

What am I supposed to do? That makes me ridiculously happy. My heart just did a little flip.

He’s the first person who’s ever praised my bento like this. I can’t stop grinning.

“Cute.”

“Wha—?!”

What is he saying all of a sudden?!

My heart jolted violently, pounding so hard I thought it might burst.

Maybe he’s just lying to trick me. But… the only people who ever called me cute were my late parents and Grandma.

Besides my father, he's the first man to ever say that to me.

Even if it’s a lie, I can’t stop myself from feeling happy.

But what if I’m being deceived again? What if something horrible happens to me, just like before?

I need to test him.

“You seem close to Manager Machida. What kind of things do you two talk about?”

“Oh, actually, we’re not close at all. He’s my boss, but we barely talk.”

Huh? What does he mean, they’re not close?

Introducing me to someone he barely knows… That’s weird. Could he be lying?

“Oh… Is that so? But then, why—”

“I was the only single guy in the sales department. Manager Machida probably just picked me because I was convenient. Miyuki-san must have found this whole thing bothersome, right?”

I see… He is kind of an unsociable and eccentric guy, so it makes sense that he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Convenient, huh…

That’s a subtle jab at that sc_um_bag of a department head.

A bother, huh?

This is beyond just being a bother. I was assaulted. Threatened. That word is far too mild.

“Oh… Convenient, huh. So that’s how you see Manager Machida…”

I decided to press him further.

“Ah, sorry. You like him, don’t you? I shouldn’t have spoken badly about him.”

Like him? Who the hell would like that piece of trash?!

There are things you should say and things you shouldn’t.

But… if this guy was simply introduced to me by that ba_st_ard without knowing anything, then…

Maybe he’s just another pawn—seen as an unsociable weirdo, underestimated and thrown into this mess like me.

If that’s the case, then… maybe he’s my ally.

“Oh, no, there’s no need to apologize. I was just… surprised. And I’m really not bothered at all.”

Ugh, that last part was totally unnecessary.

Now it sounds like I actually like him.

As a seduction tactic, that would’ve been fine—but the words slipped out naturally, and now I’m embarrassed.

This whole date was because of that ba_st_ard’s orders… and yet, I found myself enjoying the amusement park.

Maybe it was nostalgia. Or maybe, just for a little while, I wanted to escape from this absolute nightmare.

Whatever the reason, I realized my guard against him was slipping.

I should know better. I’ve learned my lesson—painfully so. And yet, I keep thinking he’s different.

When he said my bento was delicious, the look in his eyes wasn’t that of a bad person.

I can’t be sure, but… he might be just another pawn in this cruel game.

Maybe, just like me, he’s trapped.

Or maybe, my heart is just desperate to believe that.

If I keep being exposed to malice, if I keep being toyed with, I feel like my heart will finally reach its breaking point.

So please… forgive me for having fun today. It’s my first-ever date.

Just for today, let me forget what that ba_st_ard did to me. That much isn’t a sin, right?

And now, we’re ending the date with the classic—the Ferris wheel. I’ve seen it in dramas before.

“This is my first time going on a date with a guy. I had so much fun today.”

I carefully adjusted my skirt, making sure it didn’t ride up too high. At the same time, I decided to test him a little—to see if he had any ulterior motives.

But… more than half of what I just said was true.

“I had fun too. I thought you were the quiet type, but you have a different side to you.”

A different side…?

Does he mean the way I subtly tried to flirt?

Or… did he mean how much I actually smiled today?

He’s been consciously not looking at my thighs, which makes me feel, once again, that he’s not a bad person.

It doesn’t seem like he’s after my body.

He’s only here because of that ba_st_ard’s orders, but… strangely, I don’t hate the idea of seeing him again.

“Thank you for today. Would you… meet with me again?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll reach out soon.”

After returning home, I sent him a message.

I don’t remember if I read it in a novel or heard it from a friend back in school, but apparently, this is what you’re supposed to do after a date.

I know I shouldn’t have done it. Doing something like this makes it feel like a real relationship, and that’s dangerous.

Even in the bath, I kept remembering how he called me cute.