Chapter 35: Rain

Rain

Exhaling white breath, we finally reached the main shrine and completed our prayers. As I pressed my hands together, I wished for my own safety.

“What did you wish for?”

Tachibana-san asked me casually.

“A prayer for good health, I guess?”

Well, it’s not exactly wrong.

“I see. Same as me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My dad and mom are always busy with work, and Yuka is still small, so I worry every day.”

“…That makes sense.”

Unlike me, who only thought about my own well-being, Tachibana-san was thinking of her family. I couldn’t help but admire her.

“I-I also prayed for your health, just so you know…”

“Ah, thanks.”

Seeing her kindness, I almost smiled. Meanwhile, Tachibana-san turned away, looking embarrassed.

After finishing our prayers, we wandered around the shrine’s food stalls for a while. I wasn’t sure what kind of arrangements they had, but there were quite a lot of stalls at this place meant for worshipping the gods.

Even though I had eaten lunch at home, the enticing aroma made me feel a little hungry.

“You’re already thinking about food at the start of the year?”

Amused but slightly exasperated, Tachibana-san chuckled softly.

“I’m still growing, so I can’t help it.”

“Geez. Want to eat something?”

“I’m fine. I can wait until dinner.”

As I answered, I suddenly realized we hadn’t decided what to do after our shrine visit.

What was Tachibana-san planning to do after this?

Her younger sister and parents were supposed to be at her house today. Would she go home to spend time with her family, or would she want to go somewhere else?

“What should we do next?”

She asked the very thing that had been on my mind.

“What do you want to do, Tachibana-san?”

“…I was thinking of having some amazake and getting a goshuin. There’s a special New Year’s goshuin available.”

“Oh, do you collect goshuin?”

“Not really, just a little.”

“I see. …Then, since we’re here, want to visit a few more shrines to collect them?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m free today.”

“…Then, I’ll take you up on that offer.”

In an unusually cheerful manner, Tachibana-san responded. Seeing her like that made me feel a bit amused. After that little exchange, we decided to warm ourselves up with some amazake. As warmth spread from within, we made our way to the shrine office to get a goshuin. Perhaps due to the limited New Year’s edition, a crowd had gathered around the office. After waiting for several minutes, Tachibana-san finally received hers.

“Shall we head to the next shrine?”

I had already looked one up on my phone earlier.

There was no reason to stay here any longer, so I made the suggestion.

Tachibana-san, who had been in an unusually good mood earlier, didn’t respond as enthusiastically as I expected.

She was looking up at the sky with concern.

“Rain.”

“Huh?”

Holding my palm up, I felt the cold raindrops land on it one after another. Large droplets were visibly falling from the sky.

“The forecast didn’t say it would rain today.”

“Maybe there’s a rain-bringer among us.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Who knows?”

Tilting her head playfully, Tachibana-san looked adorable.

As I was captivated by how adorable she looked, the rain grew even stronger.

“Looks like we shouldn’t move around too much. We might catch a cold.”

“…Yeah.”

Looking disappointed, Tachibana-san lowered her head.

Was she really looking forward to it that much? I felt a little guilty.

“…With this rain, walking home without an umbrella might make you sick too.”

“…Yeah.”

“Um… I swear I don’t have any ulterior motives, but… do you want to come over to my place?”

I really didn’t mean anything by it.

It was just that… I suddenly recalled Kaori telling me to introduce Tachibana-san to her, and considering her behavior this morning, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get on her good side.

“Are you sure?”

“That’s my line. …I mean, you might not want to.”

“That’s not true!”

“Whoa.”

I’d never seen Tachibana-san react so eagerly before.

“…I mean, we might catch a cold. That’s all. Is that… not okay?”

Seeing her blush as she said that made me feel like I was about to do something wrong.

No, no, I can’t think like that.

Internally, I’m twenty years older than her. If I did anything inappropriate, it would just turn into a serious incident.

“It’s fine. Let’s go. If we stay out in the rain too long, we really might catch a cold.”

“…Th-thanks.”

My house wasn’t too far from the shrine.

After walking for a few dozen minutes, we finally arrived. Fortunately, the rain hadn’t worsened on our way back.

“O-Okay, excuse me for intruding.”

Hearing Tachibana-san’s nervous voice, I stepped into the house ahead of her.

“I’m home. …I’m home?”

No response from Kaori.

When I stepped inside, I noticed the hallway and living room lights were off.

It didn’t take long to realize she must have gone out somewhere.

“Looks like she’s not home.”

“…I see.”

Even though Tachibana-san was the one who wanted to come over, she had seemed a little nervous about meeting Kaori. Now that she knew Kaori wasn’t home, she looked both relieved and slightly disappointed.

“You should take a shower.”

“Huh?”

“…I’ll get you some clothes to change into.”

I had only suggested it to keep her from catching a cold. But she seemed to be overthinking it.

I showed her where the bathroom was and pointed out the basket of towels.

“For clothes… It might not be ideal, but would my school’s jersey be okay?”

I nervously handed her the jersey, and she pressed it against her face, as if checking the scent. For a second, I thought she might be disgusted, but then she accepted it without hesitation.

“Is it okay?”

“What is?”

Looks like she’s fine with it.

I left the changing room and waited for her to finish her bath. Come to think of it, she had been wearing a kimono. What happened to that? Should I have taken it and hung it up for her?

No, no. If I did that, I’d probably just get punched for being a creep.

I guess I’ll just wait for her to come out and bring it with her. No other choice.

After a while, I heard the sound of a hairdryer coming from the changing room.

“Thanks for the bath.”

Tachibana-san stepped into the living room, now wearing the jersey I had given her, with her hair let down.

Back in high school, I had let Kaori—my girlfriend at the time—stay over a few times. I had even let her use my bath back then, but I’d never felt this guilty about it before.

Maybe it’s because of the mental age gap?

“You should take a shower too.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Feeling a little awkward, I quickly left the living room.

Then, hoping to cool my head, I let the warm shower wash over me. Once I felt calmer, I stepped out.

“Sorry for the wait.”

“Mm.”

Tachibana-san was curled up in the corner of the sofa, looking uneasy—like a borrowed cat. Seeing her so unlike her usual self almost made me laugh.

“…Feeling uneasy?”

“N-No, not really… maybe a little.”

So you are.

“Come to think of it, this is the first time I’ve had you over. Even though I’ve been to your place so many times.”

“…I don’t really like going to other people’s houses.”

“Why not?”

Asking that, I sat down beside her on the sofa.

“…I’m always doing something at home—cleaning, laundry, stuff like that. I do it because I like it, so I don’t mind… But when I’m at someone else’s house, I can’t do the things I usually do. I don’t like that.”

“…So, want to clean?”

“Can I?”

“No, no, don’t take that seriously. It’s fine. I clean every week.”

“…Really?”

Standing up, Tachibana-san ran a finger across the TV stand.

“There’s dust, though.”

“I just did a deep clean recently, though…”

“…Well, I shouldn’t be criticizing other people’s houses.”

Suppressing the urge to clean, she sat back down on the sofa.

“…The rain’s not letting up, my mom isn’t home… Want to kill time with a game?”

“…Actually, wait.”

As if something had just occurred to her, Tachibana-san stood up.

“Where’s the family altar?”

“Huh? …Oh.”

That’s right—I had told her before that Iori’s father had passed away.

When I pointed it out, she knelt in front of it and pressed her hands together.

“So… your dad really… He’s really gone, huh.”

Staring at the photo of Iori’s father smiling inside the altar, she murmured softly.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t believed me. More likely, she just hadn’t wanted to believe it.

“…I hope your memory comes back soon.”

“Yeah.”

Seeing her gentle smile, I nodded and led her upstairs to my room. That’s where I kept my game console. That was the only reason. Really.

When I showed her the Nintendo X4, she chuckled. “Wow, that’s old.”

I had seen her looking lonely earlier, so seeing her smile now made me feel relieved.

Like that, we ended up playing Mario Party until the sky darkened, then headed downstairs for dinner.

The rain still showed no signs of stopping.

“Stay for dinner.”

“…But…”

“It’s fine. When my mom gets back, I’ll ask her to drive you home.”

“…Alright.”

Tachibana-san called her parents herself and explained the situation.

While she was on the phone, I started preparing dinner alone.

“You can cook?”

By the time her call ended, Tachibana-san spoke up.

“Yeah. Surprised?”

“…Not really.”

“I see.”

After that, I had Tachibana-san help with the cooking.

Maybe because she was more used to housework than I was, we finished preparing dinner in no time.

“…Even so, your mom sure is taking a while to come back.”

Tachibana-san remarked.

“Yeah. Where the heck is she wandering around?”

“You don’t know either?”

“Nope. She’s gone out without saying anything before, but even when I asked, she wouldn’t tell me where.”

“…Then, could it be…”

“Huh? Do you have an idea?”

That was unexpected.

I had no clue where Kaori had gone, and yet Tachibana-san might?

I leaned in slightly, pressing her for an answer, and she blinked in mild surprise.

But she quickly pulled herself together, her eyes turning serious for a moment before she lowered her gaze.

“…I’m not sure if I’m right, but…”

She hesitated, struggling to put it into words.

“Isn’t there only one place she wouldn’t want even her own son to know about?”

“And that would be…?”

“…You were in a coma until recently, and when you woke up, you had amnesia. Whatever happened in the past must’ve been so traumatic that even your doctor helped enforce a gag order… Your mom is being incredibly careful around you.”

“…Yeah, I know that.”

“Then don’t you think she’s hiding this from you for the same reason? She doesn’t want to upset you. Now that you’ve finally started to calm down, she’s trying to make sure you don’t fall apart again.”

…If Tachibana-san was right, then wherever Kaori had gone was somewhere she didn’t want me to know about. A place that, if I found out, would shake me.

“…Your mom is… well, she’s a widow now, isn’t she?”

With those words, the realization finally hit me—slow as I was.

Kaori had lost her husband. She was still in her thirties, but she was alone now.

Her son was already in high school, and in a few years, he’d leave for college. Until recently, she had been… practically by herself.

It wouldn’t be strange if she had someone new in her life. If she was trying to fill the loneliness—seeking companionship. It wasn’t a far-fetched idea.

…No.

No, that wasn’t right.

Not Kaori. She wouldn’t.

…Because when we reunited, she had been so genuinely, wholeheartedly happy to see me—Iori.

Right now, wouldn’t she want to spend as much time as possible with her son rather than pursuing someone else?

…But still, on the day we met again, I had noticed it.

The fine lines that had appeared over time, subtle but there.

The way her hair color had changed, just slightly.

And yet, she was still as beautiful, as kind, as warm as ever—just like she had been back then.

Ever since high school, Kaori had always been the kind of person people relied on. Admired. Loved.

That probably hadn’t changed, even now.

…There had to be countless men out there who wanted to be with her.

My thoughts spiraled out of control, and before I realized it, the plate I was holding slipped from my hands.

The loud crash shattered the silence, jolting me back to reality.

“…Sorry.”

“A-Are you okay?”

Tachibana-san quickly grabbed a cloth to clean up the mess, her eyes flicking to me with concern.

But even without looking in a mirror, I knew. I was anything but okay.

“…It’s still just my guess, you know?”

“…Yeah.”

I knew that.

I knew that what she was saying was just speculation—that it wasn’t necessarily the truth.

And yet, my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

Without thinking, I reached out carelessly, and a shard of the broken plate sliced my fingertip. A bright drop of red welled up, then trickled down.

It didn’t hurt.

But my heart did.

I had told myself, again and again.

Back in high school, Kaori and I had parted on good terms. Later, she had married the man she eventually lost—I had been told as much.

In other words, from the moment we separated, we had become nothing more than strangers. That should have been the reality.

And yet, I was still clinging to that day.

Still wondering if it had all been a lie. If it had been nothing but a dream. Fooling myself with fantasies just to avoid facing the truth.

…But time and time again, reality forced its way in, carving new wounds into me.

And every time, I found myself thinking the same thing.

Something I should never have thought.

I knew it was wrong. I knew I had no right to feel this way. But the bitter, lingering resentment wouldn’t leave. And then, disgusted with myself, I’d sink into self-loathing.

…Again.

Are you going to leave me behind… again?

As Tachibana-san took my hand and rinsed my wound under the cold tap water, the darkness in my mind only deepened, refusing to be washed away.