Chapter 24: Spreading Madness

Spreading Madness

Abandoned by Yuki, I felt as if nothing mattered anymore.

No matter how many times I looked back, the one I loved was always Yuki… So why had I done something like that? Why had I even considered meeting Senpai, breaking my promise to Yuki?

I could only call it a moment of weakness, but that single moment had cost me everything.

And yet, in that instant, I had been undeniably drawn to Senpai.

I no longer understood my own feelings—my mind was a tangled mess, unable to decide whom I truly loved.

While I waited endlessly for a message from Yuki, the only ones that ever came were from Senpai… In the end, the only connection I had left was with Senpai.

The most important bond had been severed, and I finally realized that Yuki would never respond to me again.

That realization brought back all the memories we had built together.

And each time those memories resurfaced, I was struck by an undeniable truth—I was the one who had trampled all over them. Regretful tears spilled from my eyes.

Torn between the real comfort of Senpai’s kindness and my treasured past with Yuki, I lost the ability to think clearly.

That was why I turned to Mizuho-chan, who had always been there to listen to my troubles, for help.

She had harsh words for me about my unfaithfulness but was understanding about my feelings shifting toward someone else.

She advised me to meet Senpai in person to confirm whether my feelings were real.

However, I hesitated to meet him outside, fearing Yuki’s watchful eyes. Sensing this, Mizuho-chan suggested I invite him to my home instead.

She told me that if Senpai truly cared for me, he would understand even if I rejected him… That if I met him properly and expressed my feelings, his emotions would also reach me… But she warned me that if we talked while I was still lost in sadness, I wouldn’t get the answer I wanted.

Then, going out of her way, she sent me a specially blended aroma, saying it would help calm me down.

She said that if I let this scent fill the room while we talked, everything would go smoothly. It had a soothing effect, so it would also suppress any improper feelings.

Following her advice, I arranged to meet Senpai in my room and filled it with the aroma’s fragrance before he arrived.

Yet, even after meeting him, my heart remained heavy. I had assumed that a mere scent couldn’t change a person’s emotions, but as Senpai spoke with growing intensity, I felt my own heart stirring in response.

I laid bare the ugliness within me, and Senpai, saying he would still accept me, listened to my confession.

When he heard my words, he gently embraced me.

It was at that moment that Yuki’s face and all my memories of standing beside him surged through my mind at once.

In those memories, I saw myself beside Yuki—not as the girl I used to be, but as someone staring down at me as if I were something filthy.

Revulsion shot through me, and before I knew it, I had pushed Senpai away.

Senpai was taken aback by my sudden reaction, and an indescribably awkward silence filled the room.

As if trying to break the tension, Senpai suddenly spoke up excitedly, telling me that YOUKNOW’s new song had just been released.

In the past, I would have been the very first to hear it.

But now, faced with the reality that I could never listen to it in the same way again, I felt myself sinking even deeper.

Struggling to suppress my emotions, I forced myself to go along with Senpai’s conversation.

Unaware of my turmoil, Senpai cheerfully set up the video, talking enthusiastically about how much he adored YOUKNOW.

But no matter how passionately he praised YOUKNOW or the brilliance of the song, none of it resonated with me.

Because I had loved Yuki’s music more than anyone—because I was Yuki’s first and truest fan.

The absurdity of the situation made me want to laugh, so I simply listened in silence.

I wondered—what kind of face would Senpai make if I told him that YOUKNOW was actually Yuki?

While I pondered such trivial thoughts, Senpai finished setting up the video and pressed play.

The intro had a nostalgic feel, reminiscent of Yuki’s early works, but the moment the vocals began, I froze in shock.

A woman I didn’t know was singing Yuki’s song.

Just that alone was enough to break my mind.

It was impossible. Yuki would never let someone else sing his songs—he hadn’t even let me.

How many times had I envied Mizuki-san, the only person ever allowed to sing Yuki’s songs?

And yet, right before my eyes, a complete stranger was undeniably singing a song written by Yuki.

It was more shocking than when he had told me it was over.

The Yuki who had always been by my side was now somewhere far beyond my reach.

Tears of regret, long dried up, began to flow once more.

The lyrics—about losing something precious—pierced straight through me.

I realized my own foolishness, and the pain in my heart only deepened. I could do nothing but surrender to it.

Drenched in sorrow and regret, I kept listening. As the song reached its climax, the woman on screen tore off her mask, baring the true emotions she had kept hidden.

I could feel the struggle between the pure feeling of thinking of someone wholeheartedly and the passion to receive love no matter what.

I wasn’t even surprised when I saw that the woman beneath the mask was Mizuho-chan. I was too absorbed in the song and its message.

Senpai and I replayed the video over and over.

As I kept watching, Senpai faded from my mind, leaving only me, Yuki, and the song between us.

All I ever had to do was chase after Yuki with my whole heart. Instead, I demanded something in return.

I thought that because I had given so much, I deserved to be loved in return.

I resented Yuki for not giving me what I believed I was owed.

Even though I was the one who had fallen for him first.

So, this outcome was inevitable.

Someone as ordinary as me was never meant to stand beside Yuki.

But this song had finally made me realize something.

The importance of loving someone—and continuing to love them, no matter what.

Mizuho-chan would surely succeed. Feelings as strong as hers were bound to reach the one they were meant for.

Even though I should have been angry that she had used me, I found it to be a trivial matter.

Because loving someone with all your heart is the most beautiful thing of all.

And now, I had gained the right to do the same.

So, without holding back my tears, I turned to Senpai and spoke words of farewell.

“My feelings for you can’t even compare to the love I have for Yuki.”

Without a word, Senpai left the room.

In time, he would come to understand what true love was—he would know the happiness of being loved so deeply by someone.

But that no longer concerned me. There was something far more important now—our future.

Checking my phone, I saw a message from Mizuho-chan, just as I had expected.

[Next, it’s your turn to do your best, Yuna-chan.]

Encouraged by her words, I basked in the scent that filled my room and replayed Yuki and Mizuho-chan’s song over and over.

Each time, my body overflowed with an uncontrollable heat.

Only after reaching the peak of ecstasy for the countless time did my mind finally settle. With unwavering resolve, I sent a message to Mizuki-san.