Chapter 49 A Big Step for the Two of Us

A Big Step for the Two of Us

“I love you… Let me take responsibility.”

Hearing my words, Kanade blinked her large eyes repeatedly, looking completely taken aback.

She rubbed her eyes and stared at me intently.

Ah no, my face feels hot.

It’s burning…

So hot, like I’ve been holding a hairdryer against my face non-stop…

My heart was pounding, and I felt like I was about to be crushed by embarrassment.

But I can’t run away.

I decided to admit it.

I decided to face it head-on.

So, the only way is forward.

“Kanade, I—”

“Ah, t-that’s right! I need to cook dinner—Haha-Haha!”

Kanade, seemingly flustered, said this and headed to the kitchen, grabbing some chopsticks to start cooking.

But she couldn’t hold them properly, dropping them one after another.

Was it because I didn’t express myself clearly enough?

If so, then I need to say it clearly…

I started picking up the scattered chopsticks on the floor.

While helping, Kanade scratched her head and gave an awkward smile.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… um, hahaha… I-I dropped the chopsticks! Maybe I’m still a bit drowsy… or maybe… this is a dream?”

“Kanade, I love you.”

“Wha—?!?!?”

Kanade let out a surprised yelp, her face turning as red as a boiled octopus, and she flailed in panic.

Her constantly changing expressions as she clutched her head were strangely amusing.

Then, as if realizing something, she placed the chopsticks into the sink, hurriedly sat me down at the round table, and took a seat beside me.

Sitting upright with perfect posture, she exuded the elegance befitting the daughter of a long-standing traditional restaurant.

“Kanade?”

“Hey, Shintaro…”

“Yeah?”

“Is this really the time for something like this?!?!?”

“I mean, I gave you a heads-up, didn’t I?”

“You did, but… no, that’s not the point!! Things like this have an order… but even if they do—ahh, how am I supposed to respond?!?!?”

“Haha, you’re so funny, Kanade.”

“Why are you so calm about this?! I’m over here panicking like crazy!!!”

She puffed out her cheeks in frustration and began tugging at mine.

After messing with me for a while, she seemed to calm down and suddenly grew quiet, looking at me with an uncertain expression.

“…Tell me why. Why so suddenly? If it’s forced, I don’t want it… I won’t run away, so just tell me your thoughts, okay?”

“Yeah…”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

Then, I opened my mouth to speak.

“I’ve been relying on you all this time.”

“Relying on me?”

“On your kindness, and on myself too… I avoided making decisions and moving forward, just because it was more comfortable that way. Even if it meant you’d leave, I convinced myself it would hurt less that way… even though my heart denied it, deep down, I think I believed it.”

“…”

“Facing something new, realizing my own feelings… but above all, I just didn’t have the courage. It’s pathetic, but I used my divorce as an excuse to be scared.”

After the divorce, it felt like everything turned gray.

I was lying at the bottom of a dark pit, unable to see anything.

In the middle of it all, Kanade lit the way and guided me forward.

It was like a single ray of light piercing through my feelings of despair… I was truly grateful, wanting to cling to it, and just endlessly craving to depend on her.

But—that’s not right.

I can’t just rely on her kindness alone.

The catalyst was her, but I need to begin moving forward on my own as well.

I needed to organize my thoughts, acknowledge them, and face my true feelings—not ones born from a weakened heart.

I looked straight into her eyes.

“I was pathetic and a complete mess. It took me so long to get back on my feet… But even so, Kanade understood me and waited for me. Kanade supported me when I was about to break and taught me what’s truly important.”

Warmth.

The meaning of spending time together.

The joy of dating.

Kanade taught me so many things and saved me in countless ways.

“That’s why I want to return these feelings to Kanade. I want Kanade to always smile, to be happy, and to spend time with me… That’s what I thought.”

“Spend time together…?”

“Yeah. I’m unreliable, I’ve failed before, but I’ll make sure to make Kanade happier than she’s ever been. So… will you go out with me?”

“—?!?!?”

I managed to get it out… though my voice was probably trembling.

I conveyed my feelings, my affection for Kanade, and put it all into words.

Now, all that’s left is to wait for her answer…

It’s not arrogance, but I know Kanade has feelings for me. Her actions and demeanor have shown me that.

I was the one who kept dodging the truth and pretending not to notice.

That’s why I decided to stop denying it, stop making excuses, and instead tell her how I feel.

…Right now, I was overwhelmed with tension, like my entire body was being pierced with needles.

Was Kanade feeling like this when she confessed to me?

Thinking about that made my chest ache.

“…”

Kanade, hearing my confession, froze in place, her eyes wide open.

After a moment, tears began to well up in her eyes. She pinched her own cheeks, then hesitantly opened her mouth.

“…Is this… not a dream?”

“Kanade… I’ll say it again. I love you, Kanade… I want to spend more time with you. Can I hear your answer?”

“…Is it really okay if it’s me? I might be a heavy woman who keeps clinging to her first love…”

“You’ve been thinking about me all this time. You’ve been so devoted. There’s no one else but you, Kanade.”

“~~!? Shintaro~!!”

“Whoa?!”

Upon hearing my words, Kanade burst into tears of joy and leapt at me.

Unable to react in time, I was pushed back by her momentum and fell backward while she clung to me. Kanade continued to cry, as if saying she didn’t want to be separated from me even a little.

“Uuu… hic…”

“Hey, hey… don’t cry.”

“But… I’m just… so happy… This is the first time in my life I’ve felt this way…”

“Kanade…”

“…Shintaro… I love you… I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Sorry for making you wait.”

Kanade shook her head and buried her face in my chest.

With a tearful voice, she kept telling me how much she loved me over and over.

Hearing her words, I felt the joy of our feelings reaching each other and hugged her tightly.

In response, Kanade lifted her face slightly, closed her eyes, and leaned closer.

I gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with my fingers, slid my hand behind her neck, and slowly drew her face closer to mine.

“I love you, Shintaro.”

“Yeah, I love you too.”

And that’s how we began dating.