SS 1 The NTR Guy's Atonement

The NTR Guy’s Atonement

Since that day, I’ve lost everything. My private messages were exposed by Shirasaki Kanade, my soccer career ended due to a serious injury, and I broke up with Chiharu. My classmates have only looked at me with cold, disdainful eyes ever since.

Having lost my place, a part of me wanted to run away every single day. But I knew there was nowhere to escape to.

At that moment, my grandfather’s words suddenly came to mind.

“If you’re ever in trouble, come to my temple.”

Hesitant but unable to resist, I found myself making my way to the temple where my grandfather served as an abbot.

Step by step, I climbed the long stone stairs, each step feeling heavier than the last.

Passing through the temple gate, I saw the old man dressed in priestly robes.

His white hair, tied into a single bundle at the back, hinted at his age, and the deep wrinkles on his stern face exuded an imposing aura.

He glanced at my face briefly before silently guiding me to the main hall.

Once inside, we sat facing each other in seiza, and he took a deep breath before speaking calmly.

“What happened?”

At his question, I told him everything—how I’d messed up on SNS, taken other guys’ girlfriends, and how karma had taken soccer away from me. I confessed how disappointed I was in myself.

Though I knew I was to blame, recounting it only made me more depressed.

When I finished, the old man stood without a word and walked toward the altar.

“You’re a hopeless sc🬀🬀🬀ag. But it’s not too late to start over. Sit there.”

“Uh, okay…”

In the silence, he picked up the kyosaku beside him without saying anything. I instinctively understood what it meant and braced myself.

“Katsu!”

The sound of the kyosaku slicing through the air was followed by sharp pain in my shoulder.

The first strike was stronger than I had expected, and I gasped involuntarily.

After the striking ended, he gently returned the stick to its place and sat before me again.

“Renji, a true man is someone who acknowledges his mistakes and has the courage to make amends. The pain you just felt is only the beginning of clearing away your past and stepping onto a new path. Never forget this pain.”

“…Old man, what should I do now?”

When I asked, he stared into my eyes and opened his mouth to speak.

“Anyone can make mistakes. What matters is whether you learn from them and move forward. You’re at a crossroads right now.”

“First, focus on your daily actions. If you’re serious, I’ll beat that rotten attitude out of you.”

His voice carried both sternness and warmth.

“Yeah, please, old man. Let me start over.”

At my response, the old man nodded.

Since that day, I’ve taken steps to change myself, just as the old man said.

My days now began with cleaning as part of my training at the temple. Sweeping dead leaves in the garden, washing the stone steps, and carefully wiping the main hall’s floors with a cloth—this repetitive, mundane work became a time for me to reflect. Temporarily cutting off my ties to the outside world, I focused on cleansing my inner self. This became my daily routine here.

After cleaning came zazen meditation. Quietly sitting on the cushion, crossing my legs, straightening my back, and closing my eyes, I concentrated on my breathing. At first, my mind couldn’t settle. Thoughts swirled—fears about the future, regrets about the past, and a torrent of emotions.

“Your breathing and posture are unsteady.”

When the mind wavers, the posture naturally falters too. In such moments, the old man struck my shoulder with the kyosaku without hesitation. The blow was painful, grounding me back in reality and urging me to focus again on my breathing and the present.

Each time the kyosaku was used, I became aware of my inner turmoil and learned ways to calm it. The pain wasn’t a distraction but a means of confronting myself. This pain taught me how to quiet my mind.

Over time, my thoughts during zazen became calmer, and the strikes from the kyosaku became less frequent. It was proof that I was growing, even if just a little.

After completing my training, I made a bold decision before returning to school: I shaved my head clean. It was as if I were resetting everything. My completely bald head became a symbol of a fresh start.

When I arrived at school, the reactions from my classmates were immediate. The classroom buzzed with surprised voices and whispers.

“Whoa, Renji, is that for real?” “What happened? You look totally different…” Some mocked me with comments like, “Shiny as heck, man. Your head’s blinding!”

Amid the noise, I nearly snapped, ready to shout, “Quit staring at me!” But I took a deep breath and sat at my desk.

I wasn’t fazed by this level of reaction anymore.

Because my resolve was firm.

I no longer needed a hairstyle to impress girls. This was the new me.

Ignoring others’ opinions, I was determined to pursue true self-improvement.

Previously, my confidence relied solely on my appearance. Now, I wanted to pour all my energy into refining my inner self.

That was the main reason I shaved my head.

Despite the various reactions from my classmates, I was confident in my choice. My bald head symbolized my departure from my past self and my decision to walk a new path. From today on, I’d connect with people through actions, not appearances.

And so, I relied on my classmates to arrange a meeting with a certain person.

Waiting alone in a quiet, separate building, a man finally appeared before me.

“Um, Akagi-senpai, right? Did you need something from me?”

The person I had called out was Amagi Souta.

He was once Chiharu’s boyfriend.

I had known they were dating when I forcefully took her away.

I’d called Amagi to talk about that incident.

Honestly, he probably didn’t even want to see my face, so I was grateful he came.

Since he did, I owed him a heartfelt apology.

“Amagi, I’m sorry for calling you out like this. I wanted to apologize for what happened with Chiharu. I was truly in the wrong.”

When I spoke, Amagi showed a slightly surprised expression.

He probably never imagined he would receive an apology from the man who had an affair with his girlfriend.

“So that’s why you called me… Well, I’ve already moved on from that, so I’m not bothered anymore.”

Although Amagi said that, my guilt remained heavy.

“Back then, I did something truly despicable. I didn’t think about your feelings at all.”

To my shame, my voice trembled. Admitting one’s faults hits harder than expected.

Amagi stayed silent, listening to me. His expression revealed nothing of his thoughts, but I continued.

“I’m truly sorry. I can’t apologize enough, but I want to start by saying I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. Even if you can’t forgive me, I want to at least begin with an apology.”

Taking a deep breath and summoning my courage, I bowed my head to the ground. It was my first time prostrating myself like this. The coldness of the floor was striking.

“Uh, um…”

Amagi seemed at a loss. For a while, he said nothing, just watching me bow. Eventually, he slowly began to speak.

“Akagi-senpai, please stand up. You don’t need to bow like that!”

His voice wasn’t filled with anger or hatred. If anything, he seemed worried about me. Perhaps he was kinder than I had imagined.

“I really am sorry. I was prepared for you to curse me out, so why isn’t Amagi insulting me?”

“I honestly don’t care anymore. Besides, Akagi-senpai, you seem different now. You used to be intimidating, but now you’re easy to talk to.”

“Oh… uh, thanks…”

His unexpected compliment left me feeling oddly happy.

“Well then, I’ll get going now.”

After saying that, Amagi left.

Left alone, I let out a sigh of relief.

It was finally over…

Perhaps because I was quite nervous, the time I experienced felt like only about a minute.

Sunlight streamed through the window, slightly brightening the dim annex.

The dark clouds weighing on my heart cleared away, and I felt as though sunlight had reached me for the first time.

From now on, I’ll continue honing my inner self and become the ideal me. That’s all there is to it.