Chapter 42 The Real Reason

The Real Reason

Hoshikawa-san rushed over to our table, gasping for breath. Her face was slightly sweaty, and her clothes seemed a little disheveled. It looked like she had come in quite a hurry. Could she have come all the way here even though she was supposed to be out with Kanade and the others?

“Ara, Kurumi, it’s been a while. I never thought we'd meet like this.”

“Well, Mama sent me a picture of you with Amagi-kun, and I got a bad feeling about it…”

Hoshikawa-san showed me an image on her phone.

There I was, clearly captured in the photo.

I was being secretly photographed without realizing it!?

Could it be that I was used as convenient bait to lure Hoshikawa-san out…?

Even while I was feeling slightly awkward, the conversation between Hoshikawa-san and her mother continued without pause.

“I was worried because Kurumi wasn’t responding to my messages, so I asked him about various things. He’s so mature for someone your age—I was really impressed.”

“Wh-What? Amagi-kun, you didn’t say anything weird, right?”

She put so much pressure on me that I averted my gaze.

“No, not really… I didn’t say much at all…”

That was only half true. To be more accurate, it was less me talking and more her telling me things. Honestly, I’d heard some pretty deep stuff about their family, and I’d prefer to keep that fact to myself.

“Hmm… Well, for now, come with me for a moment.”

“Eh?”

Hoshikawa-san grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me to my feet.

I instinctively looked at her, but her expression clearly said there was no room for refusal.

Leaving the café, Hoshikawa-san led me to a nearby park. Her steps were light, and I found myself following her without much thought. Once we arrived, she headed straight for the swings, and naturally, I followed her there as well.

After sitting on one of the swings, she gestured for me to sit on the one next to her. So, I sat down on the swing beside her.

Hoshikawa-san kept swinging silently, gazing up at the sky, while I felt awkward for some reason. This was the first time we were alone together to talk.

After a while, she finally spoke in a quiet voice.

“So, Amagi-kun, what were you talking about with Mama?”

Her tone was casual, but it was clear she was probing for information. It seemed she was quite curious about the conversation between her mother and me.

“Your mom asked me a lot of things, like how you’ve been doing lately… Do you not keep in touch with her much?”

“I decided not to contact her until I’ve become a fully-fledged idol. But still, Mama didn’t say anything weird, did she? Like embarrassing stuff about my past or anything?”

“She did talk about when you decided to become an idol. And, well… about how your father disappeared a long time ago…”

When I said that, Hoshikawa-san abruptly stopped swinging. Her expression darkened instantly, her eyes turned slightly cold, and she fixed her gaze directly on me.

“Ugh, Mama just can’t keep her mouth shut! I knew it—she’s so loose-lipped!”

“Ah, sorry. But I don’t think she meant any harm by talking about it.”

“I know, but… Normally, you wouldn’t talk about that with someone you’ve just met, right? Now it feels like you’re holding a secret over me, Amagi-kun. It’s unfair. You should tell me one of your secrets too—otherwise, we’re not even.”

“Even if you say that…”

The only secret I had was that I was dating Kanade, who was in the same group as Hoshikawa-san. But that was a top-secret matter I couldn’t let slip, no matter what.

In that case, it's quite difficult. I thought for a bit and then wracked my brains to come up with something.

“It’s not a big secret, but… I’m actually working on composing a new song, and I think Hoshikawa-san would be perfect as the center for it.”

“Me? Why me?”

“When I write songs, the first thing I do is imagine someone as the center in my mind. For this song, I thought you’d fit perfectly with its vibe.”

“R-Really? I’ve never been center before, so… I think I’d be happy about that…”

Hoshikawa-san said that, looking unusually a little embarrassed.

“Ah, but it’s not like I’m the one who decides the actual center, so it’s just my image in my head that it’s like that…”

I didn’t know the details, but I assumed that decisions like who would be center or the positioning for songs were made by the idol group’s management.

“I know that. I have to work hard enough to be chosen based on my ability… That's my ultimate goal, after all.”

Her words carried a clear determination, but at the same time, I sensed a faint discomfort. I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a deeper reason behind her obsession with becoming center.

“Is there a specific reason why you’re so fixated on being center?”

“Yeah, there is.”

She answered without hesitation and continued.

“To put it simply, I want to be famous. The reason I decided to become an idol was because I thought it would make me famous.”

“Famous, huh… That’s kind of surprising.”

“Ah, don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I want to be famous just to be fawned over or anything like that.”

Come to think of it, Kanade once mentioned that Hoshikawa-san's pursuit of becoming a center wasn’t about fulfilling a desire for validation but might have a deeper reason.

“So, why do you want to be famous?”

“There’s someone I want to find me. You’ve probably heard this from Mama already, but that person is Papa, who disappeared. I thought that if I became famous, maybe I’d be able to reconnect with him somehow.”

It seemed that Hoshikawa-san became an idol in hopes of being found by her father, who had gone missing. Certainly, if her visibility increased, there was a chance he might come across her through TV or online streams.

However, at that moment, I realized something significant.

Hoshikawa-san’s parents were already in contact. Her mother had refrained from telling her because she feared it might disrupt her idol activities and possibly because she believed her daughter deeply resented her father. But from what I could see, that didn’t seem to be the case at all.

To confirm my suspicions, I decided to ask her directly.

“Do you resent your father for suddenly disappearing, Hoshikawa-san?”

Hoshikawa-san lowered her gaze slightly before slowly nodding.

“Yeah… Honestly, maybe I do resent him a little. He left so abruptly, and it put a lot of stress on our family. But…”

She trailed off, then smiled faintly and continued.

“Papa was so funny, and I was such a papa’s girl. The time I spent with him was so much fun, and I have lots of great memories. That’s why, if I could meet him again, I’d like to talk to him. I’d like to know why Papa disappeared so suddenly.”

As I thought, Hoshikawa-san wanted to talk to her father.

If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have chosen to pursue a career as an idol for that purpose.

“Anyway, for now, my immediate goal is to become the center.”

Listening to her, I couldn’t help but feel a little conflicted.

It was true that becoming center was a prestigious achievement that many idols aspired to. But as a member of a nationally famous idol group, Hoshikawa-san had already achieved a great deal of recognition. I felt her talents and charm were already widely acknowledged, even without being center. So, why was she so fixated on it?

“I feel like you’re already well-known as a member of a nationally recognized idol group. But even so, you’re still determined to be center?”

I asked her gently, wanting to understand the motivation behind her determination.

“Sure, Luminous Stars is a top idol group. But even if the group’s name is famous, only a few members are actually recognized by the public.”

“Really? I can name all the Luminous Stars members, though.”

“That’s because you’re you, Amagi-kun. For most people, even if the group is famous, they only recognize the center and maybe the second- or third-most prominent members.”

Hearing her perspective, I realized she had a point.

It reminded me of when I first learned about Luminous Stars.

I’d stumbled upon a performance on TV and was captivated. At the time, the center was Amane-san, and she became my favorite. In the beginning, I only knew about Amane-san, and I hadn’t even recognized the other members.

“…I see. So becoming center is the best way for your father to find you.”

“Exactly. Not everyone is obsessed with idols, after all. I still have a long way to go, so I have to keep working hard. You’d better cheer me on, Amagi-kun, because I’m definitely going to become center someday.”

Suddenly, Hoshikawa-san stood up and, with a bright smile, declared this confidently.

Seeing her like that, I naturally felt like cheering her on.

But at the same time, something bothered me: her father had already contacted her mother. That meant, if I explained to her mother why Hoshikawa-san was working so hard as an idol, it might lead to them reconnecting.

However, I hesitated to interfere in a family matter.

Besides, it felt like doing so would take away her goal, so I decided to keep quiet for now.