Chapter 31 Divorce Isn't Simple

Divorce Isn’t Simple

“…Right now, Nii-san, you’re free. The chains that once bound you are gone. So what’s holding you back? I just don’t understand what it is you want to do.”

Hibiki stared at me intently.

Her large, almost magnetic eyes held my gaze, and her earlier words began to replay in my mind over and over again.

At the same time, Kanade’s confession to me when she graduated from cram school vividly resurfaced.

“I like you, Sensei. Can I stay by your side… forever?”

At the time, I replied, “Thank you, Kanade. I’m truly grateful for your feelings… But I’m married. I’ve vowed to cherish that person for the rest of my life. I can’t return your feelings.”

I could only see her as a student, not as a romantic interest.

I made that clear and rejected her outright.

Kanade had laughed and said, “…Yeah, I figured as much.” with tears in her eyes and a forced smile on her face.

That expression of hers is etched into my memory.

No, it’s not just etched—it’s burned in so deeply that it’s impossible to forget.

But now—there’s no such obstacle.

There’s no longer a marital bond, no partner I once loved, no legal age barrier—none of those things exist anymore.

That’s why Hibiki asked me this question.

Seeing her sister practically living at my place, she must have felt compelled to confront me.

“What do I want to do…?”

This was a question I couldn’t avoid—a painfully difficult one for me to answer.

No words came to mind immediately, and I found myself hesitating.

Seeing my hesitation, Hibiki frowned slightly, looking apologetic.

“…Sorry for asking something so sudden.”

“No… It’s fine. There’s nothing to apologize for. I understand where you’re coming from.”

“…I see.”

“Yeah…”

Right now, my situation feels warm and comforting, even peaceful.

If I were to think only about myself, it’s a place where I could relax and stay forever.

But at the same time, I feel guilty toward her.

Considering how she must have felt after being rejected once before…

“…If it’s impossible, then I want Nee-san to realize that quickly so she can move forward.”

“Move forward… huh.”

That applies to me, too.

I thought so, but the words to express it didn’t come out.

I stayed silent, listening to Hibiki’s words.

“…I don’t want Nee-san to sink into despair and end up like she was before. Nee-san is completely devoted to you, Nii-san. Just between us, when she found out you were married—when she confessed to you, even though she knew—she cried. I saw it.”

“…”

“…It’s cruel to keep giving her false hope for years. Although I do know Nee-san has plenty of rivals to deal with.”

Sighing as she said this, Hibiki now looked at me with a sharp, almost piercing gaze.

It was as if she was analyzing my every word, every movement—leaving no room for me to hide my feelings.

“…Why won’t you respond to Nee-san’s feelings? At the very least, tell me why. If it’s just a fling, then fine—I’ll accept the reality and think about what to do from here.”

I took a deep breath, doing my best to compose myself and keep my emotions in check.

The pain from that time threatened to resurface, but I held it back.

“Divorce… It’s like losing half of yourself.”

“…?”

Hibiki tilted her head, her expression puzzled.

Ignoring her reaction, I continued.

“‘I’ll dedicate everything to this person.’ That’s what I thought when I made the decision and vowed eternal love. That’s what marriage meant to me.”

“Though my ex-wife might see it differently,” I added with a wry smile.

This time, I avoided meeting her gaze, turning instead to the night sky.

“When that person betrays you, when you lose them, and when you realize everything you believed in was just an illusion… You start to wonder, ‘What was it that I’ve been trusting all this time?’”

That thought inevitably creeps into my mind.

Her face—her expression of betrayal—lingers in my memory.

No matter how much I try to convince myself to trust again, it refuses to let me.

Doubt takes root, spreading countless tendrils that entwine and entangle everything.

—The part of me that wants to believe.

—The part of me that warns against being deceived again.

These two sides are constantly at odds, never ceasing their struggle.

And that’s not the only issue.

“Can I ask you something, Hibiki-chan?”

“…Of course.”

“What do you think about someone who gets divorced and immediately starts dating someone else?”

“…I think it’s their choice. Personally, it wouldn’t bother me.”

“That’s what I’d expect you to say. You have a strong, unwavering sense of self… But even so, not everything goes smoothly, no matter how determined you are.”

This time, I turned to face her properly, meeting her gaze directly.

“I know I can’t keep relying on others. I know I can’t stay complacent forever. But if I were to accept her feelings now… People would just think, ‘Oh, he got cheated on and dumped, and now he’s clinging to someone who showed him kindness.’”

Society can be surprisingly cold.

Sure, there are sympathetic voices.

But not everyone is on your side.

People who have no connection to me would take the fact that I’m divorced and spin their own interpretations and criticisms.

So, hypothetically, if I were to start dating someone now…

“Did he already move on?”

“Didn’t he love his wife?”

“Isn’t it too soon? That’s ridiculous.”

“Was he seeing her behind his wife’s back?”

These are the kinds of things people would say.

Infidelity is something society looks down on harshly, making it an easy target for gossip and nitpicking.

“…Nee-san wouldn’t care about any of that, though. Whatever others say would just be noise to her.”

“Maybe. But I care. If sorting out my feelings were that simple, this would all be so much easier…”

If it were just me being criticized, I could endure it.

I’m resilient enough to handle that much.

But if the people who’ve supported me end up being dragged into it, if they’re hurt because of me… I’m not confident I could bear that.

Especially if Kanade were wrongly accused…

I couldn’t stay calm if someone who saved me was unjustly attacked.

Knowing that this could happen, I feel ashamed for leaning on Kanade’s kindness.

Deep down, I know I should take a step back and reexamine everything alone.

Hibiki watched me with a wry smile.

Then, she bowed her head slightly.

“…I understand now. I’m sorry for pressing you despite everything you’ve been dealing with. But I do have a suggestion.”

“A suggestion?”

“…Yes. At the very least, could you tell Nee-san about all of this? Because—”

“Ahh! So this is where you were!!”

Before Hibiki could finish, a lively voice interrupted us.

Startled, we both turned toward the source, finding Kanade standing there, puffing out her cheeks angrily.