Chapter 19 Are You Free Tonight?
Are You Free Tonight?
“Ariga-cchi, are you free tonight?”
The students and part-time staff had gone home, and it was the usual quiet time of the day.
As I was typing up today’s class report on the computer, Kanade approached me with a bright smile and asked that question.
“Well… I guess I’m free.”
“I see, I see~. Then I’ll drop by again!”
“Kanade, you already know my schedule. You don’t have to ask every time like that. Just text me if you need something—you have my contact info, after all.”
“That’s true, but… don’t you think it’s nicer to ask directly? Sometimes text messages don’t fully convey someone’s feelings!”
“Ah, I kind of get that. Even at work, emails can seem neutral, but the sender might actually be angry. That happens a lot…”
“Exactly! Even with phone calls, you can’t always tell just from their tone of voice~. There are so many things you can only understand face-to-face.”
“I know exactly what you mean. Like when my ex-wife would call me and say, ‘I’ll be home tonight!’ but in reality, she was with another guy…”
“Ariga-cchi, the more I hear about your past, the darker it gets… Maybe I should’ve given her a piece of my mind…”
“…A piece of your mind?”
“N-no! Forget I said anything!”
Kanade tried to laugh it off, but I gave her a suspicious look.
…She’s definitely hiding something again.
Kanade has always been someone who keeps secrets.
She tends to bottle things up instead of sharing them.
She’s become much more open and talkative now, but when she first joined the cram school, she was like a completely different person.
Back then, she was quiet and carried an air of sadness about her.
That was the Amamiya Kanade I met.
Well, the issues she had with her family have been mostly resolved, and things are better now… but a person’s core nature doesn’t change so easily.
She still tends to shoulder her burdens alone and rush ahead without asking for help.
That’s why—
“Kanade, don’t try to carry everything by yourself, okay?”
I said that with as much sincerity as I could.
Kanade blinked a few times, looking surprised.
Then she smiled softly and said, “You too, okay?”
““…””
We stared at each other in silence.
Even without words, we both understood what the other was trying to say.
“…Did she say anything to you?”
“No, nothing.”
“I see. Did she… seem happy?”
“Well… yeah, I guess.”
“I see.”
“…Yeah.”
Silence fell between us again, heavy and uncomfortable.
Only the ticking of the clock echoed in the quiet room.
…She’s living a new life now.
I already knew that. I had accepted it.
But even so, I couldn’t help but compare myself to her, and bitterness welled up in my chest.
If someone asked me, “Do you still love her?” I’d confidently answer, “No.”
I have no lingering feelings for her. I’ve moved past anger, and now I only feel exasperation.
But the weight of the time I spent with her still clings to me, manifesting as regret.
I need to move forward.
I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.
I can’t just drift along aimlessly—I need to find a purpose, not just live by inertia.
But maybe the reason I can’t completely let go is because of the deep regret left behind by all those wasted efforts.
With a heavy sigh, I drained my water bottle in one go.
“Ariga-cchi. Come with me for a bit.”
Kanade, who had somehow ended up crouching at my feet, suddenly spoke up.
Her big eyes looked up at me, reflecting my worn-out face.
Her loose, casual outfit revealed just a bit too much, and I quickly shifted my gaze to the wall.
Trying not to let my flustered state show, I responded curtly.
“…Come with you? Where do you want to go?”
“Somewhere quiet. It’s late, so it’ll just be a little detour. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine, but… where exactly are we going?”
“Ehehe~. That’s a secret.”
“You’re so secretive… But fine. Honestly, I kind of want to change my mood.”
“Alright, it’s settled then!”
She quickly gathered her things and tugged on my hand.
She’s always so forceful. But when I saw her carefree smile, I felt my mood lift just a little.