SS 2 The Holy Bell

The Holy Bell

Ai's PoV

It feels almost like a dream—I'm so happy. To think that I'll be spending Christmas with my boyfriend for the first time.

That's why I can't help but wonder: is this world actually a dream? Am I really still alone?

I wanted this Christmas Eve to be nothing but joyful, yet I found myself telling him about my past self from last year. It’s because I'm so happy now that it frightens me.

Regret weighs on me after sharing that story, making it hard to speak. Standing beneath the large tree in the shopping district, I close my eyes, careful not to turn around and let him see.

Last Christmas, I was all alone. Sitting in the car that came to pick me up, I just stared out at the cheerful people in the city. It felt like I was a bird trapped in a cage. The glittering streets, everyone’s smiles, the happy families—it was all so beautiful that it felt almost like a cruel curse.

Realizing my own bitterness, I let out an involuntary sigh.

The car was warm inside, yet my heart felt so empty and cold that it seemed even that warmth might freeze.

We drove past a famous church in the city. It was Christmas, and the sound of bells rang out. In the back, a happy couple was celebrating their Christmas wedding.

I remembered how, as a child, my mother once asked me about my future dream, and I answered, “To wear a beautiful wedding dress.” That dream, I thought, would probably never come true. I believed I would always be alone.

I felt a little tired. I had to start studying for my entrance exams soon. So, I closed my eyes for just a moment, wishing that this painful reality would turn out to be just a dream.

As if last year’s struggles really were a dream, I opened my eyes.

Worried about my unusual behavior, he stayed close to me. Maybe, just maybe, this person could be the one to make my dream come true.

Someone who could fill all the holes left by the things I'd lost. Someone who could give me even more than that.

My emotions overwhelmed my reason. Checking to make sure no one was around, I leaned in and stole a kiss from him.

Even though it lasted just a moment, it felt like an eternity.

In the distance, I thought I could hear the sound of a holy bell.

Coming back to my senses, I felt embarrassed and tried to hide my shyness.

“I’m embarrassed. Let’s go quickly.”

Please, God, don’t let this be a dream. Whispering that wish to Santa Claus, we held hands and slowly walked forward together.