Chapter 9 Let's Relive Our Youth!

Let’s Relive Our Youth!

“Thanks for the meal.”

“You’re welcome!”

After finishing my late breakfast, I carried the dishes to the sink and started getting ready for work.

As with last night’s dinner, Kanade’s cooking skills were impressive.

Not only did it taste excellent, but her efficiency was also remarkable.

I never realized how enjoyable breakfast could be. Though I was happy, I also felt a hint of loneliness.

Still, it’s been nothing but indulgence since yesterday.

I think Kanade had a morning class today, but for her to stay at my place until this hour…

I was overwhelmed with guilt.

“Kanade, you had a morning class today, didn’t you? Sorry for making you stay.”

“Ah, that? Don’t worry about it. I’m doing this because I want to. Besides, college students can always skip classes, right?”

“Is that okay? What if your mother finds out? Won’t she be angry? Should I apologize to her?”

“It’s fine. Mom’s understanding about things like this.”

Understanding, huh…

If it’s her mom, I suppose that’s true.

Unlike Kanade, her mom is a calm woman who, despite her age, has a youthful spirit.

She’s never emotional, always composed and precise… truly a likable mother.

And on top of that, she’s stunningly beautiful…

To the extent that you wouldn’t realize she had a child unless someone told you.

As I was thinking about this, Kanade pinched my waist.

“Ouch!”

“You can’t fall for Mom, okay?”

“I won’t!”

“Hmph…”

She snorted, clearly displeased.

The sound of her washing the dishes seemed a bit louder than usual.

“Oh, by the way, Ariga-cchi. Once I finish tidying up here, I’ll head back home. I need to submit my university assignments.”

“Got it. I’ll just go to work as usual after this. Still, college, huh… it brings back memories.”

I miss the days when we had to handwrite all our reports because using computers was prohibited.

Even though it’s only been four years, those memories feel like they belong to a distant past.

Once you enter the workforce, life wears you down, and your sense of time accelerates even further.

Four years really go by in the blink of an eye.

As I gazed blankly out the window, Kanade finished washing the dishes and came to sit beside me.

She sat close to me, as usual, maintaining a close distance.

“By the way, what kind of college student were you, Ariga-cchi?”

“What kind? That’s kind of vague and hard to answer… If I had to say, I guess I was ordinary and unremarkable.”

“Hmm… College feels like a second ‘youth’ after high school, doesn’t it? You feel more liberated, your horizons broaden, and you start spending way more money.”

“Now that you mention it… I did spend a lot of money. Even though I thought I should save, it just kept dwindling…”

“Right? That’s why I’m curious about what you spent your money on and what you were passionate about during your university days.”

“Sigh…”

“Wait, why the sigh? Was that something I shouldn’t have asked…?!”

Watching her panic with wide eyes, I couldn’t help but laugh.

But reminiscing about the past quickly dampened that lighthearted feeling.

“Four years in college… then four years as a working adult… I basically gave everything I had to one thing.”

“Oh… I see. Sorry, I guess I stepped on a landmine here.”

“It’s fine. Youth is often seen as dreamy, but it can also be bittersweet, right? I just fall into that bittersweet category…”

College is like the summer vacation of life.

Because of that, I wanted to do so many things, but in the end, I didn’t manage to do any of them.

There were countless things I wanted to do.

All-night hangouts with friends, karaoke until morning… I even wanted to go on a trip to Okinawa.

It’s too late now, though.

If only a time machine existed, I’d want to go back and do it all over again.

I sighed and scratched my head.

“Ahhh, if I knew this would happen, I should’ve had more fun back then!”

“Sorry to dig deeper, but didn’t Ariga-cchi hang out with your friends?”

“Not at all… Whenever I tried to go out with friends, she’d always say, ‘You’re going to enjoy yourself without me?’ Or if I planned to go to a drinking party, she’d bombard me with calls… All I did was work part-time to fund dates with my girlfriend. We even lived together, but she’d sulk if I didn’t do things her way… Looking back, it’s kind of nostalgic in a way.”

“Hey, Ariga-cchi…”

“Yeah?”

“Are you stupid or something?”

“You’re absolutely right… Talking about it now just makes me sad.”

Looking back, I had become the typical man who lets his life fall apart.

A man trapped by a toxic relationship, unable to break free.

Kanade must have thought the same; sighing as she voiced a similar sentiment.

“From what I hear, she was clearly a toxic woman. Love may be blind, but come on, you should’ve noticed.”

“Ugh, that hits a nerve… But back then, her behavior made me feel ‘needed’ or ‘She can’t do without me!’ It was easy to think that way.”

“And then, after eight years of relationship… she cheated on you?”

“Sigh… That’s right. I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

I slumped my shoulders in dejection.

Thinking about who I was until recently made me question everything.

Kanade gently patted my back, as if to comfort me.

“Honestly, Ariga-cchi, I think it’s good that you two divorced. Someone who could easily discard a partner who dedicated so much wouldn’t have made you happy. Staying with her would’ve only led to more hardship and mental stress.”

“…Mental stress?”

“For example, it’s similar to women who can’t leave abusive relationships. They blame themselves and think, ‘Maybe I’m the problem,’ or ‘He has his good sides.’ Their mindset is distorted. If you think about it, you were living a life where there were ten bad things for every one good thing.”

“Yeah… That really rings true.”

“And Ariga-cchi doesn’t talk to anyone about his problems, right? You bottle everything up, so it doesn’t get resolved and you get sucked into a negative spiral.”

“So… looking at it another way, this result wasn’t all bad?”

“That’s what I think. It won’t be easy to accept right now, but over time, I think things will change.”

“I guess… I really did put up with too much, didn’t I?”

“They say patience is a virtue, but it can also be a vice. When you suppress your feelings too much, you can become addicted to that feeling of restraint.”

Kanade understood me better than I did myself. I was beyond surprised; I was impressed.

Seeing how much she had grown emotionally since I first met her made me happy.

“Kanade… Are you really a second-year university student? Or are you lying about your age?”

“Why would you think that?!”

“Well, you’re more mature and insightful than me…”

“That’s thanks to your teaching, Ariga-cchi!”

“Don’t just credit me for everything…”

There’s no way I could be responsible for shaping someone’s character like that. If I could, I wouldn’t have ended up in such a mess myself.

If Kanade had been a friend my age back in college, maybe she would’ve given me this kind of advice.

Maybe my life would’ve been different if she had criticized me for dedicating my youth to my ex-wife.

Well, there’s no use dwelling on the past.

I sighed, looked up at the ceiling, and stretched out my hand.

“Come back, my youth…”

But regrets won’t change the past.

Turning down invitations to hang out, I had drifted apart from my friends.

My relationships with them have become distant.

It was heartbreaking.

Calling it the “price of life experience” might make it sound better.

But it was a costly lesson.

Still— what’s done is done. There’s nothing I can do about it now…

“Then let’s relive our youth.”

I thought I heard those words.

When I looked at Kanade in surprise, she stood before me, gazing at me intently.

“Huh?”

“Let’s do everything. Let’s play, do the things you wanted to do, go to the places you wanted to go, and relive your youth!”

“Wait, isn’t it too late for that? I’m in my late twenties. Isn’t youth a bit…”

“It’s not too late at all!”

Her loud voice snapped me to attention, and my body stiffened.

But at the same time, I felt warmth spreading through me as if blood were rushing through my veins.

“Youth is something you define for yourself. So let me help you create new memories, Ariga-cchi.”

She held out her hand.

With a dazzlingly charming smile…

…I couldn’t say no to her.

Without realizing it, I reached out my hand.

She grasped it firmly and pulled me up.

Even though her petite frame barely reached my shoulder, she seemed strong and dependable.

“I’m counting on you, Kanade.”

“Of course! Leave it to me!”

—This was the turning point of my life.

From rock bottom, I began steering toward a bright future.

On this unforgettable day… that’s how I felt.