Chapter 16 Shirasaki Kanade’s Past (1)

Shirasaki Kanade’s Past (1)

Kanade’s PoV

“Now then, let’s hear all about Shirasaki Kanade, the rising star of Luminous Stars and the center of their upcoming single.”

In a small meeting room, I sat across the table from the interviewer.

This was a magazine interview—a part of my job as an idol.

Idols have various roles, but interviews make me a little uncomfortable. I have to talk about myself—my thoughts, my experiences.

I’ve never been good at self-disclosure like that.

“Alright, to start, why did you become an idol?”

The first question was typical.

I could answer something like that easily.

“Well…. I became an idol because I wanted to change myself!”

That was half true and half a lie.

Maybe that’s why I don’t like interviews—they make me feel like I have to lie a little.

I know the person fans want me to be, the behavior they expect.

I’m a professional, and I understand those expectations.

That doesn’t mean I should just say everything I truly think—whether it’s in a magazine interview or anywhere else.

That’s why I answered the way I did.

But the real reason I became an idol? It was to get the boy I liked to notice me.

My school is a combined middle and high school, so I’ve been attending it since before I became an idol.

These days, I get a lot of attention at school, but when I was a first-year middle school student, I was like a mob character. Quietly reading books in the corner of the classroom, wearing glasses.

Shy and friendless, I spent my days feeling isolated.

One day, a boy in my class broke through my shell.

“Shirasaki-san, is that your natural hair color?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, it is…”

My father is Japanese, and my mother is Finnish, so I’m mixed.

My silver hair is genetic, but it stands out.

I’m not good at standing out—or explaining things like this—so it’s something I preferred people didn’t bring up.

“Hmm, your hair texture must be different, too, right?”

Before I could react, the boy reached out to touch my hair.

Don’t touch it…

I thought that inwardly, but I couldn’t say it out loud.

I hated how powerless I felt in moments like these. Just as I was sinking into frustration, a voice cut in beside me.

“It’s not okay to touch someone’s hair out of curiosity. I’m sure Shirasaki-san doesn’t like it.”

It was Amagi-kun who had come to my rescue.

“Huh? Is that so? Did you hate it, Shirasaki-san?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Oh no! Sorry for touching you so casually!”

When I nodded, the boy clapped his hands together in apology.

I realized then that he hadn’t meant any harm.

If Amagi-kun hadn’t stepped in, I probably would have misunderstood.

At the same time, I started to think: maybe my hair really does stand out too much.

I could dye it black like the other girls if I wanted to.

“My hair color is weird, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t help but mutter that.

“It’s not weird at all. Actually, I think it suits you.”

Huh?

Amagi-kun said it so casually, so naturally.

While I was caught off guard, Amagi-kun was called over by a classmate and left to join their conversation.

For the first time, I felt happy about being complimented on my hair by someone of the opposite s🬀x.

From that day on, I started watching Amagi-kun…

Amagi-kun was smart, the class president, and always ranked near the top of the class in tests.

Amagi-kun wasn’t just a smart and diligent class president—he had a friendly and dependable aura that made him easy to talk to. He treated everyone equally and spoke with all our classmates without bias. Thanks to him, the class atmosphere was always harmonious. During preparations for school events, he skillfully gathered everyone’s opinions and led the group, which I found genuinely impressive.

I admired him.

One day after school, I heard piano music coming from the music room.

Peeking through the small window on the door, I saw Amagi-kun playing. His expression was calm as he wove a beautiful melody.

I stopped and listened for a while. The gentle sound of his piano playing was soothing.

When the song ended, I knocked on the door and entered.

“Amagi-kun, you can play the piano? That’s amazing.”

Amagi-kun looked up, surprised.

“Shirasaki-san, how long have you been listening?”

“Just a little while. What was that song? It was so nice, but I didn’t recognize it…”

“It’s a song from an idol group called Luminous Stars. They’ve recently become popular, so it’s no surprise you don’t know them.”

“An idol song, huh…”

I was surprised that Amagi-kun liked idols.

Since he played their songs, he must have been a fan.

“Are you interested in idol songs, Shirasaki-san?”

“Y-yeah, just a little.”

That was a bit of a lie.

Rather than saying I was interested in idol songs, it would be more accurate to say I was interested in what Amagi-kun liked.

“Then, listen to this.”

Before I knew it, Amagi-kun was holding out a CD case.

Where had he pulled that from….?

I stared at the cover.

On it were seven girls who looked like idols.

They were around my age, but they shone so brightly.

Their world seemed so far removed from mine that I couldn’t imagine being part of it.

Still, I found myself fascinated by them. That was my first glimpse into the world of idols—a world I knew nothing about…

After that day in the music room, I began talking to Amagi-kun occasionally.

He recommended Luminous Stars to his other friends, but no one seemed interested. So, when I showed enthusiasm, he was thrilled.

“By the way, Amagi-kun, who’s your favorite in the group?”

When I asked casually, Amagi-kun looked troubled.

“Probably Sakuraba Amane. She has an overwhelming presence and aura.”

She was the group’s most popular member.

She was also set to be the first center for their new song.

“So, do you like her enough to date her?”

“I’ve never thought about dating her. Being her boyfriend feels way out of my league.”

“Then imagine if Sakuraba Amane confessed to you.”

I realized I might’ve asked something strange, but I waited for his answer.

Amagi-kun’s expression turned thoughtful as he hummed and nodded.

It seemed he was seriously considering the scenario.

After a moment, he replied,

“I’d be really happy, I think…”

I see. That’s only natural.

Watching him smile shyly, I felt a small stir in my heart.

I only asked as a joke, but now I felt bothered.

Why was I so upset about something I already knew the answer to?

Sakuraba Amane was the center of a rapidly rising idol group, while I was just an ordinary girl.

There was no way I could compare.

But compare for what?

Why was I feeling so competitive in the first place?

As I mulled it over, the realization hit me.

I see, I like Amagi-kun.

That’s why I was jealous and upset earlier.

But from the way things were going, it was clear Amagi-kun didn’t see me that way.

So, how could I make him like me?

The answer seemed obvious.

If I became the center of Luminous Stars, Amagi-kun would surely notice me more. If I became a successful idol—someone as dazzling as Sakuraba Amane—he’d be drawn to me.

That thought struck me like lightning.

To win Amagi-kun’s attention, I had to change who I was.

Around that time, Luminous Stars had started recruiting second-generation members. I applied without hesitation, not realizing that decision would change my life forever.