Chapter 51 Because I Was Worried, I Went to See Her, But...

Because I Was Worried, I Went to See Her, But…

I had called Iroha-san every day during the winter break.

Even though she tried to sound cheerful, I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was getting more and more worried.

I really wanted to be by her side.

I wanted to be there to share some of her burdens and ease her worries.

But I reconsidered because I thought it would be a burden to her mother, who was about to have surgery, and to Iroha-san and the rest of her family.

However, on the last night of the winter break, Iroha-san called me and said, “I have decided to stay here until the surgery is over.” I think Iroha-san, with her strong sense of responsibility, felt guilty for causing her mother worry and trouble by going to a university out of the prefecture out of her own selfishness.

I was so worried about Iroha-san that I wanted to say, “I’ll come,” but she said, “I’ll be back when the second-semester exams start,” so I held back and said, “I’ll make sure to study hard for the classes you’ll miss, so when you come back, we can start preparing for the exams right away. So for now, please be there for your mother.”

After the winter break, I continued to live alone, and I was worried because Iroha-san was not around. Many of my university friends contacted me, and each time I explained, “She is staying home longer due to family circumstances.”

While I continued to study for the second-semester exams and kept in touch with Iroha-san every day, February came, and I was relieved to hear that her mother’s surgery had been successful. However, Iroha-san still hadn’t mentioned when she would return, and the second-semester exams were just around the corner.

I was worried that Iroha-san might not be able to take the exams if things continued like this, so I was the first to ask, “When can you come back?” After a long pause, she replied, “I don’t know. I’m sorry,” and I could only say, “I see.”

In the end, Iroha-san didn’t come back even when the second-semester exams started, and it was confirmed that she would have to repeat the year.

I was so worried about Iroha-san that I did poorly in the exams, but I managed to get the credits I needed and avoided failing the year.

However, I had reached my limit, so I decided to visit Iroha-san in her hometown.

I sent her a message beforehand saying, “I forgot something, so I’m going to your room.” and then used her spare key to enter her room. I looked up the address of her family home and the name of the hospital where her mother was staying. After consulting with my manager and co-workers at my part-time job, I changed shifts and went to Fukui.

I didn’t tell Iroha-san in advance that I was going to see her.

I thought she would refuse.

I took a local train and then transferred to the Hokuriku main line to go to Tsuruga.

The scenery outside the window changed to a snowy landscape around Maibara. When I arrived in Tsuruga and got off the train, fortunately, there wasn’t much snow, so I quickly walked to the bus stop and found a bus to the hospital I was looking for. It was about to leave, so I jumped on.

I was nervous on the way to the hospital.

I thought Iroha-san would be angry with me.

But I also wondered if she would be happy to see me.

If her mother was recovering well, I thought I could at least say hello.

While I was thinking about it, the bus arrived at the hospital.

I found the reception desk and asked, “I think there’s a patient named Mizunami Misato-san here,” and they gave me a visitor’s card. While filling in my name and relationship to the patient, I sent a message to Iroha-san saying, “I’m at the hospital reception now. Can I see you?”

Iroha-san replied immediately, “Eh, what do you mean?” But before I could reply, the receptionist told me the room number where her mother was staying, so I went to the elevator.

I got off on the floor that I was told to, and while I was looking for the room, trying not to get in the way of people passing by, I heard my name called from behind me, “Taichi-kun!” When I turned around, I could finally see Iroha-san.

Iroha-san, whom I hadn’t seen in about two months, had a slightly stunned but angry expression on his face.

“Why are you here all of a sudden?”

“I’m sorry for coming without telling you. I was worried about you.”

“…Let’s go somewhere else first.”

“Oh, okay.”

We went to a glass lounge on the same floor, and I bought two cans of coffee from the vending machine. We sat across from each other at a table for four.

After I put the backpack I was carrying on the chair next to me and sat down, Iroha-san, still with an angry expression on her face, began to apologize.

“I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble. I wanted to come back before the exams, but I was so worried about my mother.”

I had so many things to say to her, but when I saw Iroha-san’s face, I forgot what I wanted to say. I just stared at her as she spoke.

“Is your mother recovering?”

“Yes. She will be examined the day after tomorrow, and if the results are good, she will be able to go home soon.”

“I see. That’s good news.”

“But I’m a little worried about her life at home after she’s discharged.”

“So you’ll be staying a little longer?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize to me.”

After that, the conversation died down.

Somehow, I felt a wall between Iroha-san and myself.

Still, I was worried about the future, so I asked, “What are you going to do about university?” She told me, “I think I’ll take a break for a while.”

When Iroha-san said this, her expression was completely different from her usual determined look. Instead of her strong, unwavering gaze, her eyes seemed tired and filled with a sense of resignation.

“I see… If there’s anything I can do….”

When I said this, Iroha-san shook her head and said, “Taichi-kun, please just concentrate on your studies. After all, you’ll have another teaching practice soon when you become a fourth-year student.”

I felt inexplicably sad about Iroha-san’s attitude of not wanting to rely on me, but when I saw that she didn’t smile even once today, I realized that my sudden question must have really bothered her, and I couldn’t say anything more.

“Yes. I’m sorry for today. I should go now.”

“…”

When I got up and put on my backpack, Iroha-san was sitting still, staring at me.

Her expression was so sad.

“You don’t have to look so worried. When your mother gets better, we can study together again.”

When I moved closer to Iroha-san, she stood up and looked down.

Then I silently hugged her, and she trembled and said in a low voice, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me. I’ll come back to see you.”

“I’m sorry….”

We stayed like that for a while, and then Iroha-san pulled away from me.

“It’s okay now. Please be careful on your way home.”

“Yes. You don’t have to see me off. Go back to your mother. Please give her my regards.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Iroha-san saw me off to the elevator, and I said, “It’s okay here,” so I got on the elevator and waved at her with a forced smile and said, “Take care. See you later.” Iroha-san said, “Take care too, Taichi-kun,” and the elevator door closed.

When I left the hospital, it started to snow, and the wind got stronger.

It’s really cold here.

I took the bus back to Tsuruga Station and went home that day without eating.

I understand that she’s going through a really tough time right now, with her mother’s illness, taking care of her, college, and her future. But I still hoped that seeing me would cheer her up a little.

But Iroha-san didn’t even smile once, and that made me feel sad. But I felt like I shouldn’t say anything about it, so I couldn’t bring myself to call her. I could only send her a message every day to ask about her and her mother’s health.

A week after I visited Iroha-san, I received a letter from her.

Inside the envelope was a letter and a spare key to my room.