Chapter 46 Sudden Discovery

Sudden Discovery

It was a Monday, just before Golden Week.

Iroha-san went back to her parents’ house for three days for a meeting at her alma mater before her teaching practice, so I was left alone at home.

I wonder why I feel a loneliness that I didn’t feel when I went back to my parents’ house.

But being alone allowed me to think carefully about what Iroha-san had told me.

Iroha said, “I was more dependent on Taichi-kun than I thought.”

From my perspective, I don’t think Iroha-san was ever dependent on me. I think we just got along as lovers. Rather, I was more selfish and clingy, like the day I returned from my hometown.

Maybe Iroha-san realized that this life we have now won’t last forever, and she felt a sense of crisis about the preciousness of this time and what might happen in the future.

For the past two years, both my university studies and my relationship with Iroha-san have been going smoothly, and I’ve taken this life for granted, but both Iroha-san and I struggled and worked hard in high school to get into university.

Neither Iroha-san nor I have slacked off, and Iroha-san, in particular, has always acted reasonably, being strict with herself and me and cherishing our time as lovers.

When she asked to meet me that day, even though it was selfish, it was probably because there was some emotional upheaval that made her want to see me so much.

And I think the reason Iroha-san thought her “dependence” on me was a bad thing wasn’t the “dependence” itself, but because of a sense of crisis about what would happen during periods when we were apart, like during teaching practice, or in the future when our circumstances change, like after graduation and getting jobs or living in different places.

I feel that crisis too.

In our fourth year, we’ll have to decide on our future paths.

I don’t know if Iroha-san will make the same decision I did. There’s a possibility that she’ll take the certification exam somewhere else.

What would I say then?

The thought of life without Iroha-san is frightening.

During the three days without Iroha-san, I was filled with loneliness and a vague feeling of unease.

Maybe Iroha-san felt the same way when I was away on my trip.

When Iroha-san returned as planned, I immediately went to see her and spent the night with her.

Iroha-san looked listless when I saw her after three days, and I was worried that something had happened to her family or that the meeting at her alma mater hadn’t gone well, but she told me that the meeting had gone well and that she had officially decided to do her teaching practice. Then she talked about her family.

“I may have to go back to my parents’ house after I graduate because I’ve been so selfish.”

“Did your family say anything while you were at home?”

“They didn’t say anything, but my mom isn’t feeling well.”

“Eh? Is your mom sick?”

“Yes, I found out when I got home. She didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to worry me.”

“You haven’t been home for two years; that must be worrying. What’s her condition? Is she in the hospital or being treated?”

“She seems to be living a normal life for now, and the doctor hasn’t told her to go to the hospital or anything yet.”

“I see, so she’s probably fine for now? If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask. Even after graduation.”

“I’m sorry. I’m worried about my family.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s your mother, so it’s natural to worry, and it’s natural for me to worry too, so don’t worry.”

“Thank you.”

That night, Iroha-san clung to my chest while we slept, and I could tell she was worried about her mother, so I kept stroking her back until she fell asleep.

But the next day she seemed to have regained her energy, and we ate breakfast together, went to the university together, and attended classes as usual.

Then Golden Week started soon after, and we spent most of the holiday together, helping me prepare for my teaching practice by sending clothes to my parents’ house and doing our university assignments together, and we were as close as ever.

However, she was still worried about her mother at home, so she called her mother every day to check on her health, and I also said things like “I hope she gets better soon.”

As Golden Week came to an end and student teaching approached, things got busy at the university, and the day I was supposed to return home came quickly.

Iroha-san would be leaving a week later than me, so I would go back to my hometown first.

Iroha-san stayed with me the night before, but I was fine with going back to my hometown, and since I was more worried about Iroha-san’s mother, I kept telling her, “I think both your student teaching and your mother’s health will be difficult, so don’t overwork yourself. If anything happens, please contact me immediately,” and each time she replied, “I’ll be fine. Take care of yourself too, Taichi-kun.”

And on the day I returned to my hometown.

After I ate the breakfast that Iroha-san had prepared, she had to go to her lecture, so I locked the door and went to the station by myself.

As I was leaving with my luggage, Iroha-san kissed me at the door, hugged me tightly, and didn’t let go for a while.

I think she’s really worried.

It’s a month, which is a long time, and she has to worry about her mother, too.

But if I gave up my teaching practice and stayed with Iroha-san, I’m sure she’d be upset.

We’ve come so far to fulfill our dream of becoming teachers.

So I suppressed my desire to be with Iroha-san and smiled and said, “I’ll be back,” before leaving the room.

This teaching practice is an important step in obtaining my teaching certificate, and it should have been a hopeful journey, but I returned home with anxiety and worry about the future and Iroha-san.

During the long trip, I spent the whole time on the train thinking about the future.

Iroha-san said, “I may have to go back to my parents’ house.”

I wanted to talk to her about it, but I didn’t because she seemed so stressed about her mother.

If Iroha-san takes the certification exam in Fukui, I want to do the same.

But it’s not something I can decide for myself.

Like Iroha-san, I was allowed to go to a university outside my hometown.

So I have to get my parents’ permission.

But when I think of my parents, I feel hesitant.

They’ve been so worried about me for the past two years, and they sent me food every month to support me so that I could concentrate on my studies.

What would they think if I didn’t return to my hometown after graduation and followed my girlfriend to another place to work?

It feels like such an unfilial thing to do.

So it’s hard for me to just say, “I’m going to get a job in Fukui.”

When I arrived at the station, my mother was there to pick me up.

I immediately got into the car and went straight home. When I entered the house, there was a cardboard box at the front door, so I thought it was the one I had sent and took it to my room without thinking.

But in my room, there was another box with my belongings, and it had a delivery slip on it. When I realized that the box I was carrying didn’t have one, I thought, “This isn’t my box. I must have made a mistake,” and I was about to return it to where I found it when I noticed a small note attached to it.

[Please send this to Taichi. From Koda Chika]

Ha!?

What is this???