Chapter 40 I Cried a Little
#Sareta OtokoI Cried a Little
When I went to the Office of Student Affairs, I found out that it was impossible for me to choose the teacher certification program with my current course load.
However, I was told that if I could take the required courses beginning in my second year and complete all the required credits by the end of my third year, I could participate in student teaching in my fourth year and receive a teaching certificate upon graduation.
The main concern is whether my schedule will allow me to take both the required general education courses and the required courses for the teacher certification program beginning in my second year.
If there is a conflict, I will have to drop one of them at the time of course registration, which will automatically set me back in obtaining my teaching certification or graduation.
However, the staff member who consulted me at the Student Affairs Office said that although the number of students in our university’s teaching certification program is fixed, there are vacancies every year, and they actively recruit students who want to join from the second year onward and provide advice on course registration and curriculum for such students.
Apparently, there are actually several students every year who have similar consultations to mine, and some of them have successfully obtained teaching certificates.
After hearing this, I decided to think carefully before making a decision.
My biggest concern is whether I can do it.
Starting from the second year, I will have to attend classes almost every day on a very tight schedule.
Also, I cannot fail any of the classes.
I had no confidence in myself, as I even avoided studying for exams.
I am only interested in college out of a whim, and I do not have the same passion and obsession as Taichi, who studied hard and entered a department of education at a national university.
If I am like this, I might end up trying but giving up halfway, which would affect not only the teacher certification program but also my graduation.
What’s more, my future employment is also a factor.
I will have to decide on a job based on my graduation, and whether or not I have a teaching certificate will have a significant impact on it.
A few days after consulting with the student affairs office, the president’s wife approached me while I was working part-time.
“Chika-chan, can you continue your part-time job after the second year? If college gets busy, you can reduce your hours.”
I want to keep my part-time job.
This part-time job was the starting point for me and has become a source of motivation for me.
The reason I can attend university without skipping classes, stay positive, not give up, and send food to Taichi is because I work part-time at this store. This job is the source of my energy.
However, considering the teacher certification program, I won’t be able to work as much as I used to after my second year.
I think I will only be able to work on weekends or during long vacations.
I decided to talk to the president’s wife about it.
Then she said, “If you want to be a teacher, why don’t you try? …I got married here at the age of 20 after graduating from high school, so I don’t know much about university or becoming a teacher. But I think Chika-chan would be a good teacher. Don’t worry about the store. We used to run it as a family though. I think my husband would agree.”
“But I didn’t study properly for the exams and got into the university on recommendation, so I don’t have much confidence in my studies….”
“That’s not like Chika-chan. When you came to our store and asked for a part-time job, you said, ‘I’ll do my best even with physical labor!’ You were so positive. You were a frail young lady then, but now you are a strong woman who can stand up to men. I think it must have been even harder than studying in college.”
“Is that so? But thank you for your advice. I’ll think about it in a more positive way.”
“Yes, if you have any more problems, I’m listening. Don’t hesitate to talk to me.”
I also talked to my parents at home.
My mother seemed worried because she thought I was still attached to Taichi, but my father said, “Don’t worry about the tuition fees. Even if you can’t graduate in four years because of your course load, don’t worry about the tuition.”
People around me are encouraging me to choose the teacher certification program.
But I still have no confidence.
I can’t believe that someone like me is worthy.
Still, I can’t give up.
I am reluctant to give up so easily.
I am afraid that if I give up here, I will continue to walk with my head down.
What should I do?
For the past few days, I have been holding the medal I received from Taichi as a talisman and thinking about it every night, but I can’t make up my mind.
While I was still struggling with it, the winter holidays came and the liquor store was busy at the end of the year, so I ran around making deliveries every day and didn’t forget to send food to Taichi for December. However, when the new year came, the liquor store was closed and there was no part-time job, so I either did weight training at home, jogged outside, or slept.
On the third day of the new year, I received a phone call from Taichi’s sister, Eriko-san.
It had been a month since we talked at the cafe, and this was the first time I had received a call from her since then. I was surprised, but I thought something might have happened to Taichi, so I quickly tapped the call button to answer.
[Hello, Chika-chan?]
“Yes, this is Chika. What’s up?”
[Happy New Year! Sorry to call you out of the blue. Are you okay?]
“Happy New Year. It’s okay if it’s a phone call.”
[That’s good. It’s no big deal, but I thought I should let you know. Sorry to bother you on the first day of the new year.]
“No, it’s okay. So, what is it?”
[Well, I was hesitant to tell you, but it’s about Taichi. He seems to have a new girlfriend.]
“Eh?!”
[If you’re still hung up on Taichi, I thought I should tell you sooner.]
“I see….”
[Sorry if this is unnecessary advice, but Chika-chan should try to move on.]
“Yes, I understand. Thanks for telling me.”
[Well, take care of yourself and work hard. See you later.]
“Yes, thank you.”
I see, so Taichi has a girlfriend now.
It must be pretty hard to live alone while going to college, but the fact that he can still have a girlfriend means that he’s working hard and staying healthy.
I have to think positively; otherwise, it would be really hard to bear.
Even when I try to give up, it’s still painful.
I cried a little.
But strangely enough, I made up my mind.
I thought I knew that I would never see Taichi again, but hearing that he had a new girlfriend made me realize it again.
I was determined to choose the teacher certification program.