Chapter 19 When I'm Happy, I Cry and Laugh

When I’m Happy, I Cry and Laugh

At the end of July and once before the Obon Festival in August, I left the food at Taichi’s family home to be sent to him, but so far I haven’t been scolded or had it returned.

I can only pray that it was delivered safely to Taichi.

Also, while working part-time at a liquor store, I went to driving school and successfully received my driver’s license in mid-September.

I’m not used to driving yet, so I can’t be trusted to make deliveries alone, but during deliveries, I get to practice driving with the president and his wife in the passenger seat.

In this way, my summer vacation was filled with part-time work, but I became very close to the store president, his wife, and their children (two elementary school girls). They often invite me over for dinner, saying, “Chika-chan, why don’t you stay for dinner?” and when I do, I help their children with their homework.

Also, I’m on a first-name basis with the customers now, and regular customers call me "Chika-chan." In April, I was empty and had nothing, but now I’m able to live each day feeling fulfilled.

Summer vacation ended, fall came, and when I went to Taichi’s family home for the third time to deliver the food, I ran into Taichi’s mother.

As soon as I left the box with the usual note at the front door, the door opened, and I was faced with a surprised-looking aunt.

I quickly bowed and tried to leave without saying anything, but Auntie called out to me, “Wait!”.

I was called and stopped involuntarily, but I couldn’t raise my face as I turned away.

Ever since I started dating Taichi in the second year of middle school, I’ve been going back and forth between our houses, and Auntie has been very kind to me.

Whenever I went to Taichi’s house on my days off, I was always treated to lunch, and when Taichi passed the entrance exam to the same high school, she thanked me repeatedly, saying, “Thanks to Chika-chan, Taichi was able to pass the exam! Thank you, Chika-chan!”

But now Auntie also knows that I betrayed Taichi and cheated on him.

In April, she yelled at me, “Please stop it!”

I feel awkward, embarrassed, sorry, and intimidated because I think I might be scolded, so I can’t look Auntie in the face.

I realize once again how serious it is to betray someone.

“Thank you for the food for Taichi. I gratefully sent it to him.”

Ah, that’s good.

They were safely delivered to Taichi.

“But you don’t have to go overboard, okay? It must’ve been expensive to buy so many.”

The fact that she didn’t throw them away and gave them to Taichi and her consideration for me filled my chest, and I couldn’t help but burst into tears.

I hadn’t even cried when I read Taichi’s letter, but now it was as if my tear ducts had broken and my nose was running uncontrollably.

“No, it’s okay.”

I somehow managed to squeeze out a reply, but it was probably a small, trembling voice that Auntie couldn’t hear.

“I still can’t see Chika-chan like I used to, and I can’t tell Taichi that it’s from Chika-chan, but please take care of yourself, and Chika-chan, please keep studying.”

“Yes, I’m sorry. Excuse me.”

Finally, I turned my body towards Auntie, but without raising my face, I bowed and greeted her, then jumped on my bike and left the scene.

I didn’t want to be forgiven, and I only did it out of self-satisfaction, but Auntie’s words made me happier than anything else.

She said she wouldn’t tell Taichi that it was from me, but that’s actually better.

It’s much better for Taichi to accept it without knowing it’s from me than for him to reject it knowing it’s from me.

After riding my bike for a while, I stopped wiping my tears and blew my nose with the handkerchief I had with me.

When I calmed down a bit, I saw my favorite cake shop.

“I should buy a cake and go home.”

I pushed my bike and stopped in front of the shop and went inside.

Because I had just cried and my face was swollen, the familiar shop clerk was surprised, but she didn’t say anything, so I ordered the same thing as usual as if nothing had happened.

After buying the cake, I went home, washed my face, and immediately made some tea and ate it with Mom.

Mom had the fruit cake, and I had the Mont Blanc.

I left the chocolate cake for Dad.

These are classic cakes that everyone in my family likes and that we always buy when we go to this cake shop.

Somehow it felt like I was eating something sweet for the first time in a long time.

I think that’s why my face naturally softened and I smiled.

Mom smiled too.