Chapter 15 The Struggle to Get Back Up

The Struggle to Get Back Up

The day after I redecorated my room, my mother asked me about Taichi, “Are you still dating?”.

I didn’t tell her everything, but I was honest.

That I was the reason he dumped me.

That Taichi had been accepted to a national university outside the prefecture and was no longer in this area.

That I’m completely cut off now; they won’t even tell me where he’s gone, and I can’t contact him.

I couldn’t tell her why he dumped me.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to protect myself, but telling my parents, “I cheated on him,” is the same as saying, “Your daughter was a sc🬀m who cheated on her boyfriend.” I definitely couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“That’s right. You two used to be so close, but Taichi-kun hasn’t been around much lately. I wondered if something had happened, but I guess that’s it.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you apologize properly? If you still haven’t been forgiven, then you need to give up and move on, okay?”

“Yeah, well….”

“A lot happens when you’re young. You’re also a woman, so you have to be strong.”

“Yeah. Sorry to worry you.”

Maybe it’s because I feel weak, but my mother’s annoying and irritating words always make me cry.

That day, I went to a local barbershop and cut my hair short.

Since I started high school, I’ve always been very fashion-conscious and groomed myself at the salon, but the salon I usually go to requires an appointment, and I really wanted to get a cut that day, so I went in and asked for it, and they cut my hair right away.

I wanted to throw away the person I was before.

I was afraid that people would recognize me as “Koda Chika”.

I was afraid that other people would see me as “a woman who cheated on her boyfriend and was dumped by him,” so I wanted to cut my hair short so that no one would recognize me.

I know it’s an unseemly, desperate move, but I felt it was the only way I could stand up.

Then, on my way home from the barbershop, I saw a poster outside a nearby liquor store advertising part-time jobs, so I ran in and asked the lady who worked there to hire me part-time.

They were surprised at first and asked, "Are you Koda-san’s daughter?" and then said, "Actually, we wanted a man because there’s a lot of physical work," so I bowed my head and said, "I’ll do my best even if it’s physical work," and somehow they managed to hire me.

If I stayed at home, I would be overwhelmed with guilt after guilt, so I wanted to start something where I wouldn’t have to think about painful things.

I also wanted to atone for my sins by working.

I know very well that a part-time job at the liquor store won’t atone for any of my sins, but I still thought it was better than staying home and sulking.

And since that day was Golden Week, I started working the next day.

From 9am to 6pm.

I counted cases of beer and liquor for delivery according to the order slips and loaded them onto the light truck for delivery. I also accompanied the delivery, visited the customers, unloaded the ordered cases of beer and liquor, and picked up the empty bottles. When the loaded items were used up, I returned to the store to load the next delivery order and then accompanied another delivery run.

With a lunch break in between, I did this three times a day.

On the last delivery of the day, the president of the company, who was driving the car, told me, “It’s not safe for you to be so tired. I’ll unload the products”.

After completing the last delivery, I returned to the store, unloaded a large number of empty bottles and beer crates that I had collected, and finally the first day’s work was over.

As I collapsed on the spot, unable to move, I heard the president say to his wife, “She’s got guts, even though she’s a girl. Let’s keep her working for us," and it brought tears to my eyes.

Even though I’m a sc🬀🬀🬀ag, there are people who will recognize me if I work hard.

I was so happy.

From that day on, I could work part-time every day during the Golden Week.

It was still hard work, and my body was hard, but my mind was a little better than before the Golden Week.

Or rather, it was so hard that when I got home and took a shower, I collapsed and fell asleep right away, so I didn’t have to think about painful things.

When I looked at the medal that Taichi had given me, which I had put on my desk, I felt like it was saying, “I’ve overcome despair. Now it’s Chika’s turn, right?”.

I know Taichi hates me, so he wouldn’t say something like that, but when I saw the medal, I really thought, “I can’t go on like this.”