Chapter 11 Treasured Medal

Treasured Medal

It has been a month since I received Taichi’s letter.

After the entrance ceremony, I stopped looking for Taichi.

I haven’t been to Taichi’s house since Auntie yelled at me.

The fact that I couldn’t find out Taichi’s whereabouts made me realize how much he wanted to cut all ties with me. I was devastated and heartbroken.

Taichi’s letter said, [It was nothing but despair that made me realize that I was no longer necessary to you].

I didn’t think about it, but that’s how Taichi took it when he found out about my affair.

And now I was confronted by Taichi, “who no longer needed me”.

When I was in his position, I realized how much Taichi was hurt.

When I understood how Taichi felt when he was in despair, my desire to cling to him disappeared.

I just want to meet him.

I want to meet him and apologize to him.

I don’t mind being insulted; I just want to apologize properly.

But I had no choice but to give up because I didn’t have the qualifications.

Right now I feel empty.

I’m listless, with no goals or motivation, and I’m only attending university out of obligation.

I don’t have any friends or acquaintances at the university, and even when my high school friends contacted me, I didn’t feel like replying, so I left them alone, and within a month, no one contacted me.

I wanted to be alone, so that was fine.

If anything, I found it annoying.

But when I’m alone, I can’t stop thinking about Taichi.

Here in our hometown, I have too many memories of Taichi.

Especially my room is filled with memories of Taichi.

So whenever I do something, memories of Taichi come back to me.

Maybe Taichi felt the same way.

Maybe the reason he left me and his hometown was because he had so many memories of me.

Given Taichi’s personality, I think so.

It was the first day of Golden Week, the first long holiday after I started college.

I suddenly decided to redecorate my room.

First, I gathered cardboard boxes and decided to get rid of things I didn’t need or that reminded me of Taichi.

I started with the closet, then the wardrobe and the cabinet, and finally I emptied the contents of my desk drawers and put them in the boxes.

I also threw in my graduation album, the clothes I wore every day, old underwear, socks, accessories, textbooks, and notebooks from middle school and high school.

Then a small gray box came out of a desk drawer.

When I removed the lid of the box, there was a dull-colored medal inside.

The medal had the words “2020 XX City High School General Athletic Meet Kendo Newcomer Tournament Team Championship Winners” written on it, and it had a red ribbon to wear around the neck.

It was something Taichi gave me when he won the tournament he participated in as a high school first year, the first time he was selected as a starter.

I went to the venue to cheer him on and watched every game Taichi played.

Taichi was really cool back then.

In the finals, Taichi, who was the second player, defeated three opponents and contributed greatly to the victory.

I remember being so happy and excited while cheering for him that I burst into tears.

On the bus back from the venue, still excited from the match, I shouted, “Taichi looked great!” and he said, “Chika came to support me, so I tried my best to show you my best. Thanks to you, I won. Thank you,” and he put the medal around my neck like it was “for Chika”.

I had forgotten until I saw the medal.

It’s such a precious memory and treasure.

Ah…and yet I didn’t go to support him in his last game of our third year.

I suddenly remembered that time too.

I think it was last June.

Taichi had asked me in advance, “If I lose this Sunday’s tournament, it will be my last match, so I want you to come and support me,” and I promised him, “Okay, I’ll go and support you,” but the day before was a Saturday, and I ended up hanging out late and ended up oversleeping the morning of the match. The venue was far away, so I got tired of it and canceled at the last minute, saying, “Sorry. I woke up feeling sick and couldn’t go and support you.”

And the worst, I was hanging out with Satoshi the day before.

When I said, “I’m going to support Taichi’s match tomorrow, so I’ll go home early,” Satoshi got jealous and couldn’t let me go home early, so I ended up staying late too.

I should have gone to see Taichi’s last match.

I wanted to burn the image of Taichi in his kendo uniform into my memory for the last time.

I wanted to tell him properly. “Thank you for your hard work.”

Sigh.

Now I’m full of regret.

I wonder if Taichi will continue practicing kendo at the university.

I hope he will.

But I wonder if he can afford it when he lives alone, which he’s not used to.

Taichi is terrible at cooking and lazy in his everyday life, so I wonder if he’ll be okay living alone.

I wonder if he’ll get up on time in the morning and not be late.

I wonder if he can do his laundry.

I don’t care if he stops practicing kendo, but I hope he does his best and is well.

I’m really worried.

I’m sure he hates it when people worry about him, but it’s okay to think that as long as it doesn’t bother him, right?

I decided to put the medal in my hand back in the small box without putting it in the box and put it on the shelf in front of my desk with the lid off.