Chapter 35 Today, as of This Day, I Am Graduating from "Daughter"!

Today, as of This Day, I Am Graduating from “Daughter”!

It had been a week since Satsuki left Japan.

She was supposed to return in about three days, but Max’s health deteriorated while Satsuki was in Russia, and he passed away.

Satsuki was able to see him just in time.

She also attended the funeral, so her return to Japan was delayed.

(I wonder how Satsuki is doing.)

I haven’t talked to Satsuki for a week.

Or rather, there was no contact from her. Even though we both needed some time, it was the first time I hadn’t talked to Satsuki for such a long time.

Of course, I feel lonely.

But thanks to this, I was able to sort out my feelings.

Now I would be able to give Satsuki a proper answer.

And today was the day Satsuki came home.

I was looking forward to seeing my daughter again, even though I was too old.

Today is Christmas, so I thought we’d have some cake. I thought a lot about what to make, but in the end, I decided to make Satsuki’s favorite curry.

I could’ve made something more fancy, but Satsuki’s favorite is the best.

(I guess it’s about time.)

The time is 18:00.

I sat in the living room and looked at the clock, waiting for Satsuki to come home.

Sophia-san had just informed me that she had arrived in Japan.

My daughter will be home soon.

As I waited with this thought, the front door opened within a few minutes.

“I’m home!”

It was my daughter’s familiar voice, but it felt like it had been a long time since I’d heard it.

“Welcome home!”

I got up and went to the front door to greet her.

But Satsuki came running before I could get there, so I couldn’t go to the front door.

“Dad, I’m home!”

Throwing down her luggage, Satsuki hugged me.

She was too shy to do this before we left the country, but it seems that giving her some time off has helped her sort out a lot of her feelings.

"Sorry, I came home late… I missed you, Dad!”

The hug was stronger than usual as if she was trying to make up for the week. I couldn’t help but smile wryly as she rubbed her head against mine.

“Sniff sniff… Yokatta, you don’t smell like any other woman. Dad, you’re so great for waiting for me and not cheating on me!”

“I wonder why you praise me like that.”

Yeah, I’m kinda relieved that Satsuki is the same as usual.

Her love is still heavy, but she’s my daughter, so I’ve given up on it.

“So how was Russia? Was it cold?”

“Yes, it was cold. But the hot food was delicious! Sophia fed me a lot!”

I guess she got along well with Sophia-san. Before I knew it, she was calling her by name.

Well, for Satsuki, she is also her mother on the family register. I’m glad she loves her.

“I also talked to Max… and he cried when I thanked him for giving birth to me.”

“…I see.”

“He also apologized and said he was sorry. He said he would do anything to apologize, but I told him I had a wonderful dad, and he didn’t have to do anything. I told her not to worry because I was happy and so was Mom.”

She said she had told him everything she wanted to tell him.

“Then he told me to thank Dad and fell asleep….”

Satsuki hugged me even tighter.

It was as if she was clinging to me, not wanting me to go anywhere.

“Then the funeral came… and it was a lot of trouble.”

“I heard that too. Sophia-san told me.”

Max was quite wealthy. He wanted to give the inheritance to Satsuki, but she refused. Apparently, there were a lot of arguments about it, but it was written in the will that “If Satsuki doesn’t need it, please donate it,” so it seems to have been settled.

Sophia-san told me that Satsuki was very happy to see him at such a time.

…Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this.

But I’m proud of Satsuki for doing the right thing. I’m proud of Satsuki for being able to thank the person who gave birth to her properly.

“I also met Mom’s parents, but… they didn’t say anything. We met at Max’s funeral.”

“…that must’ve been hard.”

They’re strangers now.

There’s no resentment. Even if they try to get involved with Satsuki now, it will be a problem.

All ties have been severed.

Our paths will never cross again. So I patted Satsuki’s head and told her not to worry.

“You did a good job. Good job.”

Then Satsuki smiled happily.

“Yes, I did my best… I was lonely for a week without seeing Dad, but I thought about a lot of things. I thought about it a lot, and I was able to sort out my feelings.”

“…I thought about it too. I thought about Satsuki seriously.”

It seems that we were both able to give each other a proper answer.

“Well, let’s start with you, Dad! If you want to make me your wife, I’m always ready.”

“This is what I mean….”

I’ve been thinking about this the whole week.

It’s already clear to Satsuki that we don’t have a father-daughter relationship.

There is no blood relationship. No connection in the family registers either. Nothing stands in our way.

All that remains are our feelings for each other….

“After all, Satsuki is my daughter. Like I said, I’ve never thought of you as a potential marriage partner, romantic partner, or anything like that… so I can’t accept your feelings right now. Sorry.”

What I really mean is this.

Even though we’re not officially father and daughter, we’re still father and daughter in our hearts. To me, Satsuki is an object I should protect, and she deserves to be happy.

I don’t need anything in return for this love.

Giving unconditional love is the most comfortable thing for me.

That was my constant feeling.

That’s why I can’t accept Satsuki’s feelings right away. This is my answer.

Even if my answer makes Satsuki sad, even if it hurts her, I can’t fake my feelings.

I thought that would be blasphemy against her feelings, so I told her my true feelings.

“…Hmm? I knew you would say that.”

But Satsuki was not hurt.

On the contrary, she smiled belligerently and looked at me even more passionately.

“I knew Dad would only think of me as a daughter anyway, right?”

“W-why?”

“Because you still have ‘Mom’ in your heart. I’m the daughter of the person Dad loves, so there’s no way Dad can see me as an object of love.”

——I was shocked. My heart was beating loudly.

My brain wanted to deny it immediately, but my body refused.

No, my heart was blocking my power.

“For Dad, I’m just a daughter of Mom, and I’m the daughter born to your first love, so I’m the natural object of your protection, right?”

“That’s not true….”

I’m not sure enough to say it’s not.

I thought maybe she was right.

“As long as Mom is still in Dad’s heart… Dad can’t marry me because you’ll end up comparing me to Mom, right? You raised me because your first love didn’t come true, so you want me as a replacement, right?”

“…”

Silence is an affirmation.

Yes, I know.

I have a “commandment”.

That is, don’t equate Satsuki with Sasha.

I didn’t want to see Satsuki as a replacement for Sasha. I decided to be a father, and I didn’t want to see my daughter like that.

And this is the “hackle” that Satsuki pointed out.

“As it is, I’m just a ‘daughter’ to Dad… I have to transcend Mom to become a ‘woman’ from a daughter. I have to surpass Mom. And when Dad thinks I’m better than Mom, that’s the ‘starting line’.”

In other words, my relationship with Satsuki hasn’t even started yet.

That’s what Satsuki seemed to think.

“Mom, you’re my biggest rival… You’re in heaven, but you’re monopolizing Dad’s heart; that’s not fair!”

“Hey, calm down, Satsuki….”

Satsuki slapped my stomach as if she were getting hot. Even though it was protected by fat, it hurt a lot, so I wished she’d stop.

“So, Dad… I’m going to graduate as a ‘daughter’ from today!”

After thinking about it for a week, she came to this conclusion.

“I’m not going to call you Dad anymore. I’ll call you Dad by your first name! Please treat me like a ‘woman’ from now on!”

Then Satsuki called my name.

“I, Itsu… Ichuki!”

But maybe because she was nervous, she bit her tongue.

And the way she called me was the same as the first time she called me when she was two years old.

“Ichuki, huh….”

Satsuki, who came to me in Sasha’s arms, called me by my first name. I wonder when she started calling me “Dad”?

Since then, I’ve been obsessed with being Satsuki’s father.

But that seems to have ended today.

“Oh, that’s a mistake! Not Ichuki…! Eh? I can’t say Dad’s name. Something is wrong with my tongue. I think it’s because I’m too excited. Ugh… I wanted to say it a little cooler….”

I hugged Satsuki, who was crying as if to comfort her.

I see… Being protected by me isn’t enough for Satsuki anymore.

To be honest, I’m sad to see my daughter grow up, but at the same time, I’m happy.

“So no matter how much Dad rejects me, I won’t give up!”

Satsuki’s love is as pure and straightforward as ever.

I’m glad to see that her love is so refreshingly passionate, even though it can be difficult at times.

And… I didn’t mean to reject you.

“Satsuki, I think you’re wrong… Didn’t I say that ‘I can’t accept Satsuki’s feelings right now’?”

“Yeah, you said that, so you’re dumping me, right?”

“No, I was going to say that I can’t accept feelings ‘right now’ but I don’t know what comes next.”

I guess I didn’t say enough.

Maybe I’m nervous too, for some reason.

I didn’t express my feelings properly.

“Satsuki’s right, there might still be some Sasha left in my heart, but… it won’t last forever.”

I don’t know when, though.

I don’t know when I became aware of Satsuki as a woman.

Or maybe there is another way.

That’s what I thought.

“So… you’re thinking the same as me?”

“That’s right. Let’s take it slow and not be in a hurry. We have plenty of time anyway.”

From now on, life goes on.

We can think about it again in the meantime.

There are no more hidden things.

I’m sure our relationship can be accelerated from now on.

“Okay! So, um… I’m a clumsy person, but please keep in touch with me.”

Satsuki bows her head.

“Dad, not… Ichuki! I look forward to working with you for a long time!”

Again, she can’t say anything, but she seems to have given up. She didn’t care and just said it like it was.

I really liked that about her.

“Yes. I’m looking forward to working with you from now on, Satsuki.”

We hugged and laughed.

I’m not going to let this happiness go, I thought.

“Well, it’s Christmas today, so shall we have dinner?”

“Yes! And what’s for dinner today?”

“Curry. And we have cake too.”

“Yay~ I love curry.”

“Oh, what Christmas present do you want? I haven’t bought it yet.”

“Well… You can just sign it. Can I ask you to sign the marriage registration?”

“No. It’s too early; your dad won’t sign it.”

“Mwah… You’re so mean. I won’t call you Dad anymore; Ichuki’s an idiot!”

Relaxing from the familiar exchange.

I wish we could laugh like this forever——