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Chapter 33 I'm sure Mom Wants Daddy "To Be Happy"

I’m sure Mom Wants Daddy ā€œTo Be Happyā€

I finally told my daughter that we were not related by blood.

Satsuki was shocked, but after a while, she calmed down.

ā€œSatsuki, did you calm down now?ā€

ā€œā€¦Y-yes. Sorry for being so shocked? Da…d?ā€

ā€œYou can still call me Dad. We’re not related by blood, but I’m your father.ā€

Saying this, I extend my hand to Satsuki, who is sitting on the floor.

But she put her hands in front of me and blocked me.

ā€œW-wait! If you touch me now, I’ll probably die of happiness.ā€

ā€œI-Is that so?ā€

I tried to pet her as usual, but Satsuki refused.

She seems so embarrassed.

Satsuki’s face is still red, although it is better than before.

She couldn’t seem to make eye contact with me, and for a while, I couldn’t tell where she was looking.

Still, she looks at me from time to time, and when our eyes meet, she blushes again and looks away, which is kinda funny.

ā€œEh? Why don’t you come sit on my lap again? You could’ve come over here instead of sitting on the floor, you know.ā€

Of course, it was just a teasing remark.

Satsuki must’ve known that. So she looks up at me with eyes that seem a little resentful.

ā€œYou’re teasing me, Dad. When you do that, I’ll lose my mind, you know? Dad overestimates me… I’m not very patient.ā€

It looks like Satsuki is thinking about a lot of things.

Well, I’ve to stop teasing her. Since I’m the one in the wrong, I shouldn’t make Satsuki feel any more embarrassed.

ā€œBut don’t sit on the floor; sit on the sofa. It’s hard to talk.ā€

I beckon her to sit next to me, not on my lap.

I’m fat, but Satsuki is petite, so there was enough space to sit on the sofa.

ā€œOkay, okay… I’ll sit.ā€

Satsuki slowly sits down on the sofa.

The reason she shrinks is probably because she is still shy.

Am I forcing her too much?

Would it be better for Satsuki if I took a distance?

I thought so and wanted to get up….

ā€œDad… hand, your hand?ā€

ā€œYes?ā€

She suddenly said that.

I stopped standing and held out my right hand as she asked.

Then Satsuki grabbed my little finger.

ā€œSatsuki?ā€

When I asked her what she was doing, she smiled lazily, and her lips curled up.

ā€œHehe… I'm holding hands with my dad.ā€

Apparently, she wanted to hold hands.

The situation has changed, but Satsuki hasn’t.

She loved me as always.

ā€œā€¦But the way you hold hands is different than usual?ā€

She usually holds my hand like a lover, but the fact that she’s only holding my little finger must be a change of heart.

ā€œWell, I think I’ll take it slow…get used to it a little more. I’m going to take my time and get to know my dad!ā€

That’s really sweet.

That’s how much I felt sorry for shocking Satsuki again.

ā€œā€¦I’m sorry I hid it from you.ā€

I bowed my head and apologized.

I didn’t care if she resented me, hated me, or was angry with me.

But Satsuki laughed and shook her head.

ā€œEh? Why are you apologizing? Dad didn’t do anything wrong.ā€

ā€œBut…I’ve been hiding it all this time. I knew how you felt, but I kept it a secret. So I guess it’s okay if you hate me.ā€

ā€œHate? Hate my dad? How could I hate you? Even though I love you so much?ā€

Satsuki looked confused.

Deep inside, she looked like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

ā€œDad didn’t do anything wrong. After all, you raised me, right? Even though we’re not related by blood, you love me like a daughter, right? That’s great, right? Why can’t you understand that?ā€

Satsuki always accepts me, even though I’m such a pathetic person.

ā€œDad, you know… Thank you for raising me. I’m so glad you’re my dad. I’m so happy you’re my dad!ā€

ā€œSatsuki….ā€

Ah, no.

It’s not fair to say such a happy thing.

I felt like crying. Or rather, I was crying now.

I’m glad I’m your father——I was really happy when she said that.

I’ve always been a very weak person.

I’m really grateful to Satsuki for accepting me.

ā€œDad. Don’t cry… If you cry, I’ll cry too, you know? Come on, cheer up!ā€

Satsuki cried a little too.

ā€œSorry….ā€

I forced myself to hold back my tears.

The story is not finished yet.

There is one more thing I have to tell her.

The story of Sasha’s marriage and the man she married.

…I also have to tell her that Satsuki’s real father wants to meet her.

ā€œSatsuki, actually….ā€

Then we had a serious talk again.

That Sasha’s marriage was unwanted.

That Sasha left everything behind and came to Japan after Satsuki was born.

That I didn’t go out with Sasha even after we met again.

When I finished telling her these things, Satsuki suddenly started to cry.

ā€œā€”ā€”ā€

Even though she wiped her eyes, the tears kept flowing from Satsuki’s eyes.

It was as if she understood Sasha’s feelings.

ā€œI’m sorry, Satsuki. I couldn’t protect your mother… I made her unhappy.ā€

The words of regret came out naturally.

I was revealing to my daughter the feelings stuck in my heart.

But Satsuki shook her head.

ā€œNo… I’m sure Mom was happy to be with Dad. There’s no way she was unhappy.ā€

There could’ve been another way for my relationship with Sasha.

The regret still hasn’t gone away. I may never be able to forgive myself.

But Satsuki told me this in strong words as if to scold me.

ā€œI don’t remember Mom, but I know… somehow. Mom loved Dad very much. She must’ve been very happy to be with you.ā€

ā€œI wonder if that’s true.ā€

ā€œAbsolutely! So don’t blame yourself anymore, okay? Mom wouldn’t want that. I’m sure she wanted Dad to be happy with all her heart.ā€

How could Satsuki say such a thing?

Her words carried weight. Where did that persuasive power come from?

ā€œI know…because I love you as much as she does. Mom and I… I’m sure we would think the same thing.ā€

Not because they’re mother and daughter.

But because they loved the same person, they shared the same feelings.

If that’s the case… I couldn’t deny it.

ā€œWhat you should do as a father is not apologize to Mom and me; you should be happy. Mom will get mad if you keep moping around like this, right?ā€

I could easily imagine her saying that.

ā€œI wonder why Itsuki is so negative.ā€ Sasha would scold me in a desperate yet gentle tone.

And yet, I was always stuck in the past.

I can’t make amends to Sasha anymore.

No matter what I did, it would be useless if I could not forgive myself.

Then I should stop having regrets.

For now, I just want to protect the treasure Sasha left behind.

I will make Satsuki happy.

That is the most important thing——

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