Chapter 30 A Medicine Called “Love”

A Medicine Called “Love”

What should I say?

How can I explain it to her?

My mind was in a mess.

My heart was full of regrets. It hurt so much when I thought of Sasha. I wish that I had been more sensitive. I wish I could have been there for her. These regrets swirled around in my heart, and I couldn’t think straight.

I know I should only think about Satsuki now.

Sasha’s story must’ve been a shock to her as well. Maybe she feels more pain than I do.

The same goes about Satsuki’s real father. I wonder how Satsuki will feel when she suddenly hears something like that… I’m sure she will have mixed feelings.

But all I could think about now was my own stupidity. My mind was occupied with the fact that I could not forgive myself for who I am.

I was angry. I was frustrated. I was resentful. I was cursing.

I was sad and unhappy at my weakness.

“…!”

And before I knew it, I was at home.

At the door, I slapped my own cheek. I couldn’t let Satsuki see such a pathetic face. Let’s calm down and talk slowly.

I haven’t finished my thoughts yet, but I have to tell her anyway.

With that in mind, I opened the door to my house.

“I-I’m home.”

I tried to keep my voice calm.

Yokatta, my voice came out as usual. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Welcome home! Dad, you were late today, you know?”

Satsuki comes running out of the living room.

Then she looks at me and tilts her head.

“Dad?”

“…W-What?”

I’ll act like I always do.

I’ll pretend like nothing happened.

That was my intention, but… My daughter seemed to know everything.

Hug!

It was sudden.

Without any context, Satsuki hugged me. Then,

“Dad, kneel down.”

“Huh? Oh, um…?”

“Just kneel down!”

I don’t know what it was, but I did as I was told, kneeling down and lowering my eyes.

Thanks to that, I became one head smaller than Satsuki.

Satsuki hugged me again as if she wanted to wrap me in her arms.

“Good, good.”

Just like soothing a baby.

Satsuki patted my head and stroked my back.

I understand. This is why Satsuki told me to kneel down.

I understand the reason, but… I don’t understand the intention.

“Satsuki? What’s wrong?”

I openly asked her why.

Then Satsuki gave me a small smile and said,

“Dad’s having a hard time, so I’m going to pat your head.”

She seemed to understand right away.

Satsuki easily saw through my emotions that I thought I had hidden well.

Just as I thought, it seemed I couldn’t hide them from my daughter.

“When you stroke and hold me like this, it really calms me down, you know?”

Yes, I know. That’s what I always do for her.

Whenever Satsuki had a scary dream or something went wrong, I always comforted her like this.

And now she was doing the same for me.

“Dad, cheer up! When Dad is sad, I feel like crying, right? No, if I cry, Dad will get even sadder.”

I tried to deceive them.

I wanted to be a great father in front of this girl, so I tried to be strong.

But it was no use.

Just as I know everything about Satsuki, she knows everything about me.

It was impossible for me to hide my feelings.

“Mou. What happened to your coat, Dad? Your body is so cold. I’ll hug you to warm you up, okay?”

Satsuki hugged me even tighter like she was clinging to me.

Cheek to cheek, she tried her best to warm me up.

“How do you like this warmer with 100 percent daughter ingredients? Is it warm?”

“Yes… it’s warm.”

It’s strange.

When Satsuki touches me, my mind becomes more and more calm.

The emotions that had been raging over Sasha became calm all at once.

It was like medicine.

Satsuki’s “love” feelings cured me.

““…””

We hugged each other in silence for a while.

Satsuki rubbed her body against mine, probably to warm me up.

“Mufufu… I’m going to take advantage of Dad’s weakness now and overwrite the scent of another woman on him while I still can!”

Correction. Even at a time like this, Satsuki was still Satsuki.

“You let out your inner thoughts, you know.”

“W-What? I’m not thinking anything. I’m just not thinking that my weakened dad is so cute or that I can’t help but notice another woman’s scent.”

Totally… Really, my daughter is so sweet.

Thank you, Satsuki, I’m feeling better.

And finally, a little bit of courage appeared.

So I’ve made up my mind.

“Satsuki, I have something to tell you.”

There’s something important I haven’t been able to tell you for a long time.

“Satsuki’s mother… Let me tell you a little bit about her.”

About Sasha.

About how she cared for Satsuki more than anyone else.

I know it’s late, but let me tell you——