Chapter 29 Stay Strong. You're a Father!

Stay Strong. You’re a Father!

I’ve always wanted to know.

About Sasha’s marriage, the identity of her partner, what her life was like after she left me… I wanted to know everything, but I was too afraid to ask her.

“There were things I could’ve done more for her… Why didn’t I have the courage to ask her? Why couldn’t I trust her?”

I can only hold my head and groan in pain.

I was so tormented by regret that I couldn’t move.

Sophia-san looked at me with a sad face.

“I’m sure you have a lot on your mind, Itsuki-san. I know you have a lot of regrets too, but don’t forget… Sasha was so happy to meet you. That’s a fact.”

And Sophia-san continued.

As if to say, “Stay strong!”.

“Also, I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, but… You’re a father now. You should never look like this in front of your daughter.”

Besides, it’s Satsuki; she’s so sensitive to my emotions.

If I was sad or in pain, Satsuki would feel it too.

“If you think for Satsuki’s sake, stay strong!”

“…Yes, that’s right. I’m her father, so I have to be strong.”

When I heard the scolding words, I looked up.

I was grateful. It was more than words of comfort; it was a lightening of my heart.

“I’ll give you this too….”

Then she handed me a letter.

The letterhead was filled with letters I didn’t understand.

“It’s an airmail letter… Max, Satsuki’s father, sent it to my parents’ house. Then they had it forwarded to me.”

“Satsuki’s father?! What does it say?”

“I guess so. You and Satsuki-chan probably can’t read Russian anyway, so I’ll read it for you.”

Sophia-san opens the airmail carefully.

There was a letter and a ticket-like form on the letterhead. Sophia-san takes the letter and reads it.

“Sorry for the suddenness. Believe it or not, I am your father. I have no right to call myself that, but I would be happy if you would listen to what I have to say. I have been told that I have one year to live. I am dying, and I regret my life. I caused your mother, Sasha, a lot of trouble. She is no longer with us, but I want to apologize, if only to you. I want to talk to you face-to-face just once. You are the only daughter I have. I leave you all my possessions. I know we are no longer related, but will you let me do something fatherly for the last time? …From Max.”

The reason he contacted her so late was because the person named Max was dying.

“… And over here is a plane ticket. Tickets for a week later. I also have his contact information, so if you’re going to be there, you might want to give him a call.”

“This is… so sudden?”

“It just shows that he doesn’t have the time anymore. I’ve never met him either, but I’ve heard from relatives that he was a man who lived a free life… Karma. In the end, everything you do comes back to you. I’m sure he regrets it after all this time.”

…Strangely enough, I didn’t feel any resentment.

I thought it would bring up more feelings of anger, but honestly, I didn’t feel anything towards this man, Max.

It doesn’t matter. I don’t care about this man’s remorse.

But it matters to Satsuki.

“…I’ll leave it up to you whether you want to give this airmail to Satsuki-chan or not. But Itsuki-san, I know it’s hard for you, but think about it carefully, okay?”

Gently, Sophia-san takes my hand in hers.

It was wrinkled, hard, and not the most flattering hand.

But they were strong hands.

These are a mother’s hands.

Sophia-san is a wonderful mother who lost her husband at a young age and raised her children well with only her hands.

Her words had weight.

“It will be okay. I’m sure you can choose the path that will make Satsuki-chan happy.”

Her words were heavy so, therefore, reliable.

“Yes. I want to have a serious talk with Satsuki.”

I can’t hide it forever.

No, I’m sure I can’t hide it anymore.

Satsuki is 17 years old now.

She is no longer a spoiled child.

Let’s talk.

Let’s talk to her about Sasha.

I also want to tell her that she received a letter from her biological father.

Of course, I would also tell her that she is not related to me by blood.

“…I’ll see you later.”

“Yes. Well, I’ll be in touch if you need anything, okay? I’m always willing to help.”

I stood up and took the bill. I paid and walked out.

It was December. The air is cold. Shivering in the freezing cold, I suddenly remembered that I left my coat in the store.

But I didn’t have the energy to go back and get it.

“…Damn it.”

No matter how much time passes, I can’t forgive myself for being weak.

I want to beat myself up and kill myself.

But if I do that, Satsuki will be sad.

“I have to go home….”

I start walking unsteadily.

I walk straight home, braving the freezing cold wind.

My steps were very heavy——