Chapter 215 Ichijo Ai's Monologue

Ichijo Ai’s Monologue

I received a message that my father wants to meet me tonight, which is unusual for him.

I don’t know why, but my heart hurts. I feel like I don’t want to see my father’s face. What a terrible daughter I am. Not only did I take away the person my father loved the most, but I also failed to live up to his expectations.

Tonight, unusually, I have no plans with my Senpai.

So there’s no reason to refuse. So I made up my mind. To have dinner with my father. It shouldn’t be something I have to prepare so much for. But I really need it. I feel desperate in my heart and think that our family relationship is really distorted.

During the class, I could barely concentrate on the lessons. Come to think of it, I was always like this until I met my Senpai. Living in a sepia-toned world, just waiting for time to pass.

I had become a machine that only smiled politely at other people.

The machine that ignored its own feelings and single-mindedly pursued rationality. So much so that it came to the conclusion that denied its own existence.

“Ichijo-san, can you understand this problem?”

Maybe it was because I was a little distant that I was targeted.

I look at the problem on the blackboard.

It’s a geometry problem.

“Yes, we can use the power theorem. In this case, if we solve the equation PA × PB = PC × PD, the answer is 3.”

“As expected, that’s the right answer. Everyone, please follow Ichijo-san’s example and do your homework correctly.”

The teacher said with a wry smile. My classmates shouted, “Eh?!” I see, we haven’t been taught the power theorem yet. It’s good that it was a basic problem. I was sure that this theorem was part of today’s lesson.

I was lost in thought again. The rain that had been falling had stopped. The sun was shining on the puddles on the ground, reflecting them beautifully. Suddenly, I remembered the day I met Senpai for the first time. The world was so beautiful that day, too. That day, when we skipped school in a hurry, I was so busy that I didn’t have time to look around.

“That was really fun. I’ve never been so excited before.”

I tried to mumble to myself, but the words slipped out. I looked around frantically. No one seemed to notice. I was relieved, but then I remembered that fateful day.

He had thrown himself against the fence to protect me. If he had hit the wrong place, or if the fence had been worn down….

Aono Eiji, a senior, risked his life for Ichijo Ai, a junior he had just met.

I was so happy that day. In place of my mother, he asked me to live.

I must’ve compared him to my mother. Although I knew it was rude, I was interested in him.

That’s why I didn’t refuse his sudden proposal. I had a premonition that he would break the shell I was in.

I had always been an honor student, but at that time I was sneaking out of school in broad daylight. It felt like I was escaping the cage I was trapped in.

And that is who I am now. Since that day, I’ve never thought about dying anymore. Even now, on the day I have to face my father, even if my father doesn’t love me, there are people who do. Knowing that has made me stronger.

I can now show him my weak and cowardly sides, which I never showed him before. Most importantly, I now have someone to rely on.

I also have to give a proper explanation to my Senpai’s family. Because I don’t want to lie anymore.

After school. While leaving school with my Senpai as usual, I told him that I’m having dinner with my father today. He looked very worried, but he spoke to me more gently than usual.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s just dinner with my father, so it’s okay. Besides, I wanted to face him properly, if only a little.”

“I see; Ai-san is strong after all.”

What are you talking about? After all, it’s thanks to you that I’ve become strong.

“Fufufu, I wonder.”

I feel like being a little mean to him.

“But if anything happens, please tell me right away. Ai-san doesn’t have to force herself to be strong.”

“That’s not fair; you’re always like that… already.”

Then I walk in front of my Senpai with a trembling voice. He says what I want him to say, and he does what I want him to do. Sometimes he goes beyond what I can imagine, but he thinks for me.

So I turn and tell him.

“Senpai. I love you so much.”