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Chapter 155 Miyuki and Memories

Miyuki and Memories

Miyuki’s PoV

I cannot die, I cannot apologize, I can only wait for my sentence to be carried out. There is no salvation. Happiness is destroyed by me. There is no one at home. Loneliness invades my heart. I despair that I cannot even escape this suffering.

It was my own fault, and I could do nothing about it. My heart is simply crushed by this feeling of hopelessness.

I stay in my room and casually look around. The remnants of a happier time now pierce my heart like a deadly weapon.

In my room, I have many memories of Eiji.

The cards I played with him.

The first Purikura photo I took with him.

The many photos we took together at entrance and graduation ceremonies and school trips.

The Christmas gifts we exchanged after we became lovers.

The cute empty cans that used to contain the candy he got for White Day.

…I have to throw them away.

The memories of the times when I was truly happy torment me. I opened my desk drawer.

The symbols of my sins are still there.

The birthday present I was supposed to give Eiji. In the end, I couldn’t even give it to him.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw it. Why did I say such cruel things that day?

Eiji was naturally angry. He just grabbed my arm, but I blamed the kind man. Only in my own defense…

It was only after I lost him that I realized how much he meant to me. The feeling of loss grew and grew. I wondered how long this feeling would last. A dull pain as if half of my body had been torn off. My heart is screaming.

I flipped through my diary. A secret diary that I used to write in all the time before I started cheating.

I started cheating and I couldn’t write anymore.

I ran away.

The diary from the day Eiji confessed his feelings to me. There are marks where I read it over and over again.

A day of happiness that will be a lasting memory of happiness in my life.

In the diary of that day, a happy girl, buoyed by the heat of that day, was full of dreams and hopes…


Eiji confessed to me. We finally became lovers. I’m happy. I want to live with him forever. If we do that, we will definitely be happy. Even after I graduate from high school, grow up, and become a grandmother, today will still be a special day for me. I will never forget this day.

I want to live a happy life with him forever and ever.


I read the painful text as if even my past self was condemning me. I cannot stop crying.

On that day, I believed that this wish would be granted as a matter of course.

No. If I had not destroyed my own happiness, this wish would definitely have come true.

The day after he confessed his love to me; the day after that, I enjoyed my happy days. Our first walk to school after we became lovers. Our first stopover. Studying for an exam for the first time.

Even those mundane days were glorious.

I wonder why I forgot them. I’m such an idiot.

While I was sobbing my eyes out, the doorbell rang.

Someone was coming…

  1. Mann, if I could directly talk to Miyuki right, I'd like her to know... YOU DESERVE THAT YOU CHEATING BI_THC! HAHAHA

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    Replies
    1. I'd be more petty, since she's really weak I'd just take her diary and burn it

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    2. Yeah actually I think she would bawl her eyes out if we threw away that diary in front of her, it’s all she has left

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    3. She'll go completely insane if that happens and I'd laugh at that sight

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  2. moral lesson: you only realize the value of a thing or a person after you lossed it.... and dont be a cheating bi_tch

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    Replies
    1. "Only know your lover when you let (him) go"

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  3. Serves you right bi_tch

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  4. Man you're so stupid Miyuki Bi_tch

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  5. Why does everyone in this novel believe life is over because they are alone.... she should suffer , atone and move on. Starting over a new leaf is always possible as long as you are alive. This degree of despair is unrealistic

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    Replies
    1. Because they're still teenager who has new experiences and because it's their first time to it, they're inexperienced how to handle such feelings.

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    2. Probably a culture thing. In the west if you cheat it's tabloid news and then forgotten but in Asian countries it becomes a stigma. Like future employers can deny you employment because of that. You can sue the person who cheats on you for damages and you will get it.

      In the west the person who cheated wins, she will get half your money your home, your retirement money and she gets the kids.

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    3. As an asian, I agree. Cheating is not to be taken lightly in here. For westerners I know yall cheat on each other like it’s your everyday life, but in Asia it’s completely the opposite

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    4. Cap A popular Japanese twitch streamer was revealed to be cheating on his wife and was rewarded with thousands of twitch subs by his fans.

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  6. Might i point out the fact that she cheated under a year into their relationship, one way or another she absolutely would have cheated, she truly did bring this unto herself so dont feel bad for her.

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    Replies
    1. To give her the smallest chance, she did imply that her primary reason for cheating was her rush to experience physical intimacy, so it’s possible that if she had already reached a point in her relationship with Eiji where they were intimate she wouldn’t have been tempted. However it’s just as likely given her self-centered mindset that at any point in their hypothetical marriage they hit a rough patch she would be equally prone to seeking comfort outside the home. Ultimately Miyuki seems like the type of girl who had no chance of becoming a better person until she f*cked up at least once, it’s just amazing the scale at which she did.

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  7. It's absolutely wild to me that she has photos of Eiji all over her room and yet still invited Kondo over for sex when her mom wasn't there. Truly a horrible creature.

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    Replies
    1. oh fuck now that you mentioned it...

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  8. Petition to destroy her Diary

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  9. I think this story is so brilliant. The characters are so well-defined.
    For example, Miyuki.
    Her thoughts and motivations seem almost "logical" to me, but also immoral and unrealistic.

    For example, she said, "I'm going to enjoy my youth, I'm going to have fun."
    She enjoyed Kondo.
    She "loved" Eiji.
    Kondo was going to drop out of school a year before them.
    Whether Eiji realized it or not didn't matter, because Eiji loved her so much that he was going to forgive her...
    But the consequences were much worse than she expected.

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