Chapter 45 Akasaka's Determination

Akasaka’s Determination

After the parent-teacher meeting, I asked Aika-san to go home alone.

Aika-san probably didn’t want to go home with me, especially since she was crying. I can’t help it because I’m a nuisance.

I just kept walking aimlessly.

I thought about taking a little detour, but there was nowhere to go.

I kept walking and before I knew it, I ended up in this park.

There weren’t many people here at the moment, just a few kids playing.

I sat down on a bench and stared at the scene.

I wondered if there was a time when I played like that.

I had a few memories of playing in the park with Yoka when I was little and a few memories of playing with Shiramine-san when I was in elementary school, but far fewer than most people.

I spent some time looking at the kids playing together.

Just as I was about to leave, someone called out to me…

“Ah. Hiiragi-kun…”

“Akasaka-san? Why are you here?”

“It’s, that’s, um… I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry.”

Akasaka-san says so, bowing her head. There is nothing I can do now. No matter how much I accept her apology, she comes back to apologize again.

What should I do?

“It’s okay. I told you many times, I don’t care anymore.”

“But I…”

“It’s okay. I’m going home then.”

“Wait a minute. Can you at least let me do something? Or buy something…”

The moment she said that and grabbed my hand, I pushed her away.

“Kyaa!!!”

Gradually, my body started shaking and my mind became a mess, and I fell on the spot. My body somehow rejected Akasaka-san. I was afraid of her touch. I was afraid of being touched in any way. I couldn’t help but think that that would happen to me again, that I would be falsely accused again.

“Please don’t do that. Please don’t come near me, please…”

“Ah, I didn’t mean it.”

“Really, I’m begging you. Please stay away from me.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Akasaka-san said that and backed away from me a little.

After a few minutes, my shaking finally stopped and my jumbled thoughts somehow came together.

Take a deep breath and stand up…

“It’s all right now. I’m sorry it had to come to this.”

“No, it’s not. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry I touched you so suddenly. I won’t do it again.”

“That would be great. Then goodbye.”

“Um, yes.”

I wanted to get away from Akasaka-san as soon as possible. So, I left the park dragging my tired body.

I thought it was over, but it seemed like my body and mind just wouldn’t listen to me.

I vaguely remember feeling the same way about Shiramine-san. I lost consciousness in the middle of a conversation, and I only vaguely remember that time.

However, I clearly remembered that Aoi-senpai came to save me.

Come to think of it, I didn’t become like that when Aoi-senpai held my hand or had contact with me. I wonder if this has something to do with my past.

I looked at my hand and remembered the time when Aoi-senpai held it.

How did I feel then? I don’t think I was afraid or scared or anything like that. But there was just a little something…something that slowly seeped into me; a feeling that is hard to put into words.

I can’t help but think of Aoi-senpai again.

I wonder if it is because we have been spending a lot of time together lately.

I went home with this thought in my head. …

“Oh, welcome back, Shuu. I’m sorry about before. I was crying.”

“It’s okay. It’s my fault. I can’t help it.”

“Oh, no. It’s all my fault for all the things I’ve accumulated. It’s not Shuu’s fault.”

“I see, but it must be my fault, so I’m sorry.”

I take off my shoes and enter the house.

Basically, it’s better if I’m not in the living room, so I put my stuff in my room, wash my hands, gargle, and then go back to my room.

I take out my study materials and start studying.

For some reason, I couldn’t concentrate as much as usual, but by the time I was done preparing for school and reviewing, it was already 10 o’clock.

I come out of my room, eat dinner, take a bath, and go to bed a little after 11. But…

“Onii-san, can I have a few minutes?”

“Yes?”

Yoka knocked on my door, and I got out of bed and opened the door.

“Umm, you know. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Something you want to ask?”

“Recently, besides the student council president, you were involved with a new person named Shinomiya, right?”

“Shinomiya-san? Yes, recently…”

“Are you okay? Did she do something strange to you?”

“Something strange? …”

I have no recollection of Shinomiya-san doing anything to me. On the contrary, maybe I bothered her more because I was visiting her house.

“…She didn’t do anything to me.”

“I see. But be careful. Both that student council president and that Shinomiya girl.”

“Be careful? …Yes, I understand.”

It’s the genius Yoka. She must have a reason for saying that, but I don’t know what I should be careful about.

I’ve been getting a lot of help from Aoi-senpai, and the same goes for Shinomiya-san.

“Well. Good night, Nii-san.”

“Yeah. Good night, Yoka.”

I closed the door, got into bed, and turned off the light.

Akasaka’s PoV

I can’t help it but to watch Hiiragi-kun leave the park. I also feel a wave of guilt coming from within me.

I know that. I know that I’m nothing but evil to Hiiragi-kun and that it’s better for me not to get involved with him anymore.

But the guilt in my heart won’t go away. My hopeless sense of justice makes me do that. I have always been like this.

I always show a false sense of justice in the most important moments, and I have no insight into what is really right and wrong.

What I thought was good, what I thought was justice, turned out to be a mistake, and I hurt Hiiragi-kun a lot and made him like that.

I admired my father and always wanted to be useful and honest like him, but when it came down to it, I was always like that.

I ran away from Hiiragi-kun. Instead of admitting my mistake, I tried to forget everything, tried to hide it, and went to a different high school, and never met him again.

The guilt in my heart remained, but after about two years, when I was about to let the feelings fade away and forget them, I met him at that place.

When I saw Hiiragi-kun, I couldn’t help but cry. I didn’t know what to say, and out of guilt, I asked for his forgiveness and ran away.

Since then, I have been thinking about him in the back of my mind, looking for an opportunity to apologize to him.

I know it’s wrong, but I want to help Hiiragi-kun. I want to do the right thing this time.

All I have to do is take back what I did. I understand that, but I still want to do whatever I can to make things better for Hiiragi-kun, even if it’s just a little because I want to do it as a form of atonement for him.

I tried to learn a little bit about Hiiragi-kun, so I learned about his past and what happened after he entered high school.

I learned that Hiiragi-kun had a girlfriend in high school, but they seemed to have broken up, which further damaged his heart. Although I don’t know the details, I also do know that Hiiragi-kun has been hurt in the past.

Maybe the two girls involved now…

… Kudo Aoi and Shinomiya Saya.

Those two girls could hurt Hiiragi-kun. They could go the same way I did.

I can’t and shouldn’t let that happen.

Looking at Hiiragi-kun’s appearance right now, everyone can see that he is still broken. I want to help him.

“This time…I will do it right. Make no mistake.”

Before I knew it, the sun had set and the kids who had been playing were gone.

I, too, moved my feet and walked away. This time I made sure I made no mistake…