Chapter 38 Shinomiya Saya's Past (5)

Shinomiya Saya’s Past (5)

Ahhhh, I’m such an idiot! …

“It hurts here, doesn’t it? Hey, it hurts, doesn’t it? It hurt me too, you know? I was betrayed by Shinomiya-san. Is this my fault? No, it’s not. It’s all your fault, right?”

A few months have passed since then.

“Really, you are the worst. You take people’s things. Have you ever thought about how people feel? No, you never think about that…yes, never.”

I wanted to say those words back to her, but they never came out of my mouth.

My eyes no longer reflected light, and I just went about my daily life as if I were dead.

After a while, someone who was a friend of mine tried to help me because she was worried about me, but it only had the opposite effect. And she soon abandoned me, gave up, and spent her time trying never to have anything to do with me again…

Worst of all, even Hagiwara-kun, the person who supposedly said he loved me and was the main culprit for getting me into this mess, knew I was being bullied and did nothing to help me. F🬀🬀k!

I remember that when he saw me being bullied, he turned away and just walked away. I was a fool to think that he could help me.

I’m sure I just had a momentary lapse of imagination and mistakenly thought he liked me, or maybe he just wanted to keep me for his own convenience. Was he in cahoots with this woman from the beginning? Doesn’t he want to get into trouble with that cruel woman at the top of the female caste because of the convenience of his school life? Or is he holding a grudge because I rejected him?

I didn’t care what the reason was, but I wished he wouldn’t say “like” or “love” so casually…

I also gave up relying on the teacher when I saw that Sensei ignored my soaked body and started the class normally without even mentioning that I was in such a state.

I thought that teachers were supposed to protect students and scold and rehabilitate those who committed violations, let alone bullying, but there were no such teachers in this school. They were just doing their job for the paycheck, and none of them were so passionate and proud of their teaching job.

Maybe it was a hassle for them.

I thought it was because they wouldn’t have to do more work if they did not get involved…

My parents were aware of my unusual condition and asked me, “Are you okay? If it’s hard for you, you can take a break, okay? We’re worried about Saya the most,” but that’s why their kindness hurt me.

I smiled and said, “It’s nothing.”

I didn’t want to worry them…

And finally, I felt powerless and thought that I was giving up on the people who bullied me. I lack the strength and courage to fight back or collect evidence of their bullying.

For the first time, I understand the feelings of a child who is being bullied. No matter what people on the outside say, only those who are involved can understand these things.

I am scared. Anyway, I am.

It’s not logical, and I can’t say what exactly, but I can only accept the current situation, cowering on my feet with a vague feeling of anxiety and fear. Fighting is too far for me.

It was impossible for me to fight alone…

“Hey, are you listening? Oyyyy! Listennn!!! Don’t get too carried away! You’re ugly.”

Thinking I was going to get kicked, I crouched down desperately to protect myself.

I crouched down and looked at the crumpled textbook that my foot had stepped on.

As I stared blankly at it, I was kicked by some of Amane’s cronies.

The human body is a mysterious thing; it quickly gets used to pain. I just accepted it with an indifferent expression on my face.

In my foggy vision, I thought about the future.

I wondered how long this bullying would last. I would like to think that after I graduate from junior high school, there will be no more bullying, but if I go to high school with this woman, even my high school life will not be fun anymore.

I looked at the textbook in front of me.

…That’s right, let’s go to a good high school where a stupid woman who threatens people with violence like this can’t get in.

If I don’t, I’ll always be like this. I didn’t want to go on like this, but I couldn’t tell anyone, so it was like a spider’s web.

I felt like I saw a light inside me…

From that day on, I began to study hard. No matter how many scribbles and stains there were on my textbooks, I would fix them, or if there was nothing I could do, I would buy new ones. I will study hard no matter what.

I wasn’t smart and had never worked hard at anything, so I didn’t expect any results at first.

I felt anxious, so I studied hard, but of course, I didn’t get any results with such a method of studying.

I felt like giving up, but I gradually got the hang of it, and by the time I was in my third year, I had grown to the point where I was getting single digits in my grade…

As I approached the entrance exams, those women no longer had time to b🬀lly me, and they only bullied me to relieve stress, but not that often. I thought it was because they were tired of me…

But I was so stupid that I didn’t know she was smart.

God says that we are all equal, but I was so convinced that the world was working in her favor.

I had no idea that I went to the same high school as that woman.

I took the liberty of assuming that there was no way someone with such a low attitude could get into the high school I wanted to attend.

… No, I probably just looked away because I didn’t want to admit that fact. I just wanted to think that I was a little better than her.

I wanted to return the joy I felt when I got into the school of my choice; Now I can finally be free. From now on, I can spend my time freely… I wanted to beat myself to death for stupidly thinking that good things would come because I studied hard or because of the bullying I experienced…

The exam results are posted on the board, so there is no excuse for not knowing. I should’ve checked carefully.

I tried my best to study, but in the end, I am who I am and there is nothing I can do about it…

I still see it from time to time in my dreams.

The day of the opening ceremony.

On the day of the opening ceremony, when she found me and smiled at me with an eerie grin on her face…

That weird, chilling smile.

“We are together again, Shinomiya-san. I’m looking forward to working with you from now on. With Shinomiya-san around, I’ll be able to enjoy high school life again like I did in middle school… Hahaha!!!”

With a hand on my shoulder, I sat down and collapsed helplessly.

Aaahhh. I am such an idiot.