Miyuki Realized Her Happiness
Miyuki’s PoV
I was on my way to my mother’s hospital, accompanied by Mitsui-sensei.
I remembered what had happened at school.
When I broke down in tears, the teachers took me to the infirmary and put me under observation. Of course, they did. They couldn’t leave a student who had just tried to commit s🬀🬀cide.
Takayanagi-sensei came to see me and asked if I was okay.
I couldn’t say anything. After all, I had also betrayed Sensei. My childhood friends, friends, and family had all disappeared from my life.
All because I had betrayed them. I made such a big mess. I can’t be here anymore…
I’ll never forget the sincere voice Ichijo-san spoke to me earlier on the rooftop.
“This will not work. Sigh, do you understand that if you kill yourself here, Eiji-senpai will be hurt? After being cheated on and betrayed by his childhood friend who has been with him all his life, do you have the right to selfishly hurt his heart? Why can’t you understand such a simple thing when you’re so close to such a kind person? How far will you go in your selfishness? If you were Eiji-senpai’s lover, you should think about him a little. What gives you the right to harm his future? How far do you want to spread his lifelong scars? After all, you didn’t love Eiji-senpai, did you?”
Those words are still ringing in my ears.
A lifelong scar. Selfish. I was just spoiled. Did I really love him?
I couldn’t answer her. I was overwhelmed by her love for Eiji. I’m confronted with the cruel fact that I don’t understand my childhood friend, with whom I must’ve lived for more than 10 years, any better than she does.
I’m selfish. I just wanted someone to spoil me. I just wanted to find a substitute for my missing father. So instead of true love, I ran towards the satisfaction that would come from physical relationships and instant pleasure.
(Sorry, Eiji. I guess I didn’t love you as much as Ichijo-san. I’m the worst. No wonder. Ichijo-san always believed in you.)
It was a complete defeat. The despair of not being able to win, no matter how hard I tried.
Now I couldn’t even die and run away.
“I’m sorry, but since this has happened, I have to contact your parents. You are under house arrest now, but if you have any concerns, you can contact me anytime. Takayanagi-sensei says the same thing. This is not between teacher and student anymore but between individuals.”
Sensei’s kindness makes it difficult for me. When I heard the words (Contact my parents) I almost screamed (Don’t!) but I couldn’t. It would cause more heartache for my mother who is in the hospital. I want to disappear. I would be reminded of the person I had become who was no longer human…
If I hadn’t cheated on him, I could’ve gone back to that warm place.
I want to go back. I hate myself for thinking that. Even though I know I can never go back, I want to go back to the place I abandoned.
I realized that it was my true happiness. It was so close that I couldn’t recognize it and I let it go so easily.
I can never get a replacement for that warm place. Maybe never, I’ll have to live a long life of despair, painfully aware that the time I spent with Eiji was the happiest of my life. …
Accompanied by Mitsui-sensei, I head for the hospital where my mother is staying.
Eiji and Ichijo were on the street near the station. They didn’t notice me because we were on opposite sides of a large street. They were walking happily together.
Witnessing the happiness I have lost, I continue to walk down the road of sadness.