Chapter 128 Aono Eiji

Aono Eiji

I hug her body tightly.

The feel of her soft skin. Her sweet breath. The smell of shampoo and soap.

“I’m sorry. But just a little more…”

She refuses to show her face as if she were spoiled. She’s probably crying. Her voice was shaking.

This girl wasn’t the school idol or the perfect person. She was Ichijo Ai, the vulnerable girl of her age whom I had met on the rooftop that day. …

I don’t think my next choice is the right one. But let’s follow my feelings. It might be a mistake. It might not be what she expected. It might be too heavy…

But I’ve learned from what happened with Miyuki. I have to tell her what I really want to say while she’s still with me.

I relax my arms.

Ichijo-san looks at me with wet eyes, a little surprised.

Her face is bright red and she looks anxious and clinging, a vulnerable expression I’ve never seen before.

“Senpai…?”

I touch both of her shoulders as she stares at me, and begins to speak,

“No need to rush. If it’s okay with you. … I’ll always be by your side, Ichijo-san. I won’t disappear anywhere, ever.”

She looked at me with a surprised expression.

I hit her with something heavier than that… a confession of love, somehow.

As if she understood what I meant by the delay, she let out a short “eh” … and jumped into me as before.

“Yes. Don’t let me go.”

She replies shakily, but somewhat happily.

Relying on these words, I put my hand on her back again.

“Yes, absolutely.”

Slowly we move forward.

Ai’s PoV

“How far do you think a little mistake goes? Holding hands? Kissing? Or …”

He seemed very disturbed by my mean question. After I said it, I was overcome with self-loathing. I was aware that I was forcing him, a kind man, to make a cruel choice. Even though the incident with Amada-san had just happened, even though he might not have made up his mind yet. …

I was in a hurry. His talent was amazing. I was happy that he had decided to make his debut as a novelist, but I was also sad that I might be left behind.

I didn’t want to be left anymore. My mother and father were gone.

I’m afraid my senpai will leave too. So I acted spoiled to him like a child spoiled by her mother.

I was afraid of what he would say or do next… Whatever he chose, I would be happy. But at the same time, I could imagine that I would regret it. I forced him to choose. …

But, he hugged me without saying a word.

The tenderness of his hug envelops me. I am happy.

He mumbled “Maybe something like this?” in a reserved way.

I felt the warmth of his body against mine. His large back gave me a feeling of security.

I’m happy. But I feel disgusted with myself.

I want to force the relationship to go deeper. What if he goes somewhere else? What if he finds someone else that he likes? Our relationship is just crossing a dangerous bridge on the rooftop. I want my relationship to be solid.

I hated myself for being so selfish. I hated myself for taking advantage of his kindness. …

“I’m sorry. But just a little more.”

I wanted to show him that I existed, to hold him, to keep him from leaving me.

He straightened his posture as if willing to accommodate my selfishness.

Then he slowly relaxed.

This moment made me anxious. Maybe he’ll hate me. The world seemed to be falling apart because of this doubt.

I was about to cry, “Senpai…?” I squeezed out.

He gently touched both my shoulders with a very sincere smile.

“No need to rush. If it’s okay with you. … I’ll always be by your side, Ichijo-san. I won’t disappear anywhere, ever.”

The words he spun for me were beyond my imagination. …

It took a while for my brain to comprehend them.

A confession that seemed similar but deeper than a confession of being a lover.

And the words I wanted more than any of the options I had listed. …

“eh?”

My head goes blank and my heartbeat gets louder and louder. I was so afraid he would hear it.

I do my best to see his face. But I’m so nervous that I can’t really make eye contact with him.

But I really want to look at his face and answer him. I gathered my courage and looked at his face, and I saw that he was looking at me anxiously.

Seeing that, I felt calmer and was able to express my feelings honestly.

“Yes. Don’t let me go.”

I think I had the happiest face I’ve seen in years.

“Yes, absolutely.”

Hearing these words makes me very happy.

Slowly we move forward.