Chapter 107 Mother's Guilt, Miyuki, and Rooftop

Mother’s Guilt, Miyuki, and Rooftop

Miyuki Mother’s PoV

The nurse almost forced me back into bed. Before I knew it, Miyuki was gone.

I have to rest.

I was told that firmly but there was no way I could stay still.

What had I done wrong in raising her? The guilt that made Eiji-kun suffer as much as I did will always haunt me.

I think I was wrong to take advantage of Aono-san’s kindness too much.

I worked hard to raise Miyuki all by myself. Aono-san was very understanding and loved Miyuki as if she were her own daughter.

While I was away on work, she provided various kinds of support so that Miyuki wouldn’t be lonely. I cannot tell her how much I appreciate her support. How could I forget how grateful I was to those who extended such a helping hand to those of us who had no relatives, just the two of us.

I was spoiled by such kindness. I thought I had always said it in words and I thought I had made sure to convey it to Miyuki as well.

“Take good care of Eiji-kun.”

“Aono-san is a benefactor to us as well.”

I wonder if that has become a burden. In my heart, I was sure that I could entrust Miyuki to Eiji-kun. He has a different kind of patience and gentleness than the others and he’ll definitely make Miyuki happy. I’m so happy that he’s her childhood friend. A happy future is promised. This happy future was indeed there. …

Maybe it was just that Miyuki couldn’t say it and that caused a feeling of rebellion against it.

In the end, she chose a man who resembled her father. What an irony of fate.

At the very least, I would like to apologize.

Now the home of those who let me in so close feel so far away.

Tears slowly trickle down my face and stain the futon.

Miyuki’s PoV

I ran out of the hospital room. I was unaware of my true despair. I had been naive. I had hurt my mother so much. It was so frightening.

I thought of Eiji. I think of Eiji’s mother too, and I think of the two of them who should’ve been my benefactors, but I forgot that and ended up repaying them with betrayal. Why am I so stupid? How could I be so stupid as to forget something so important? I was so consumed by the flames of temporary lust that I threw everything away.

I wonder if I would’ve felt a little better if I had been there for Eiji when he fell down after being hit by Kondo-senpai.

No, that’s impossible. If I hadn’t cheated in the first place, if I hadn’t tried to give up the things that were most precious to me instead of deceiving myself with words like “playing with fire.” … This would’ve happened.

I would be lying if I said I never imagined a future with Eiji. I imagined a future where Eiji and I would be together forever. It was supposed to be a very warm and gentle future.

“Why am I such a fool?”

Self-loathing and guilt. And I feel sorry that I betrayed Eiji and his mother. That I had mentally driven someone I loved to the brink of death.

When my mother tells me, I realize the weight of my guilt.

I wish I could just die. There is no place for me at school. I have lost the trust of Eiji and my mother. All my friends are gone.

All that is left is a feeling of guilt and an unquenchable self-loathing.

I went home and put on my school uniform. Then I went outside.

Before I knew it, my feet were walking to school. That place has nothing but happy memories. The same goes for the way to school. The memories of going to school with Eiji and laughing every day have now become a weapon that hurts my heart.

Let’s end this now.

I go to the back door and sneak into the school. No one is in the hallway because classes are still in session. I’m under house arrest, so I shouldn’t be here.

At least I wanted to end my last day by looking at the place of my happy memories.

If it wasn’t open, I would give up. I could go somewhere else.

Quietly, I climbed the stairs to the rooftop.

For some reason, the door to the rooftop was open? It should’ve been locked.

The blue sky spread out. Even its beauty is a symbol of rejection for me.

But there was a guest before me.

It was someone I knew.

The person who had taken my place slowly turned to face me.