The Day After My Childhood Friend Brought a Guy Home, She Confessed to Me (Kiriyama Haruna)
The Day After My Childhood Friend Brought a Guy Home, She Confessed to Me
I have nothing going for me. Even so, I’ve always had a childhood friend who was kind, cute, and easy to get along with. We were close. That was just the way things had always been.
One day, I happened to see her bringing a guy into her house. The sight stuck with me. I could not get it out of my head.
And then the very next day, as if nothing had happened, she confessed to me.
What am I supposed to do? What is the right answer here?
This is a story of youth, hesitation, and the feelings we try to understand.
I had been dreaming.
“When we grow up, let’s get married.”
“Yeah. It’s a promise. For sure.”
That was a memory from ten years ago.
The kind of thing you often see in fiction.
I cannot even remember who said it first anymore, but it is a precious memory and a promise.
From when we were small, childish, and understood nothing. From the time when we believed nothing would ever change.
“Haa… I’m hungry.”
I woke up blinking against the evening sunlight coming in through the window and realized I was hungry.
Cooking something now felt like too much work. I guess I should just go to the convenience store.
I shook my head to chase away the dream I had just seen, picked up my wallet, and stepped out the door. From the house next door, I heard cheerful voices.
“Right, yeah.”
“And then, so, you know.”
I glanced toward the voices and saw a man and woman chatting happily as they entered the same house together.
The childhood friend from my dream and some blond guy I had never seen before were entering the house together, arm in arm.
Unless the residents had changed without me noticing, the house next door should still be my childhood friend Yui’s house.
Why is she so close with a guy?
“Y-Yui…?”
They did not seem to notice my voice, and they simply closed the door behind them.
The situation was so unexpected that all I could do was watch.
Because.
Until just yesterday, she had been my friendly childhood friend. The one I promised to marry. Cute. Good at housework. Cheerful and well-mannered, like the perfect childhood friend you see in anime or manga. And she had brought a man home.
And not just any man. A flashy blond guy who looked like he was experienced with girls.
“…Tch.”
Along with a painful and unreasonable anger, I felt a strange calm settle inside me.
Strictly speaking, even if the childhood friend who always cared for me brought some flashy guy home and did whatever with him, it has nothing to do with me. I have no right to say anything about it.
I am only her childhood friend. I am not dating Yui.
And if you asked me whether I had ever clearly expressed my feelings, there is doubt. If someone said I simply did not try hard enough, that would be the end of it.
So I have no right to question her actions.
I understand that. But I cannot describe this heavy feeling in my chest.
Forgetting my hunger, I wandered back home and fell onto my bed while replaying all my memories with Yui up to yesterday.
“That guy…”
Who is he? What is his relationship with Yui? Could he really be just a friend? No. Would someone who is just a friend walk into her house arm in arm?
Thinking back, Yui has many female friends but almost no male friends.
She even seemed to avoid having male friends. So where did she meet him?
Without me, her childhood friend, noticing?
No matter how much I think, it is useless.
This is probably just foolish sentiment.
While neglecting the effort to keep her close, blaming Yui would be cruel. But at the same time.
We promised to get married. Using a memory from over ten years ago as a shield, I find myself acting like the victim.
She told me she would always stay by my side. So why?
I cannot get the image of that blond guy out of my mind. I keep imagining what Yui might be doing with him. Kissing. Maybe more. The thoughts appear and disappear, and I feel like I am losing my sanity.
So this is NTR. Brain destruction. I remember laughing at the idea in some video, and I never thought I would experience it myself.
“Hahaha…”
A dry laugh escaped me. The more I thought, the more it felt like my mind was breaking.
The memories I had with Yui, which used to shine so brightly, were fading and turning thick and black. I did not know how to handle these rotting emotions, like waste oil mixed with spoiled garbage, and while my thoughts turned over and over, morning arrived before I knew it.
“Kou-kun. Are you listening?”
That voice snapped me back to reality.
“Ah. Yeah. I’m listening.”
“Kou-kun, you’re weird today. You have dark circles under your eyes and you keep spacing out.”
“…”
Whose fault do you think that is. I almost shouted, but I clenched my teeth hard and held it in.
I wondered if she had used that cute smile, those slender fingers, and those soft lips on that guy last night. If she whispered love to him. Thinking that made the girl beside me feel unbearably dirty.
And realizing I felt that way made me feel disgusted with myself too.
“Kou-kun…?”
“No, it’s nothing. Let’s just get to school.”
The day after bringing another guy into her house, Yui was waiting outside mine like always so we could walk to school together, acting as if nothing had happened.
Walking to school together has always been normal, but after yesterday, I cannot help thinking. Why me? Why not him?
I do not understand what she is thinking anymore.
Has she always been inviting guys over like that? Even while acting like an honor student at school?
No. Stop thinking.
If I think any further, I will not be able to see her as my childhood friend. I will not be able to smile. I will not be able to stand beside her.
So I stop thinking.
“So, Kou-kun. After school, come to the rooftop.”
“Huh?”
“I have something important to talk about, so come to the rooftop. You have to.”
With a shy expression like a girl in love, her ears turning red, Yui said that.
I really do not understand what is going on in her head.
“Ah. Yeah. Got it.”
When she heard my answer, she smiled brightly and ran off.
I let out a long sigh and slowly followed her.
“Therefore…”
I sat through class absentmindedly, just wishing that my assumptions were wrong.
That the important talk was not her telling me she got a boyfriend.
After spending the whole day thinking about Yui and that guy, it was finally after school.
I am not in any club, so I usually go straight home.
But today I already have plans.
If I ignored her and went home, she would probably wait on the rooftop until morning. After more than ten years together, I know that much. Yui is like that.
Haa… guess I have to go to the rooftop.
“But I really do not want to.”
I scratched my head and looked around. Only a few students were left in the classroom, and Yui was not there.
She is probably already on the rooftop.
That is the sense you get after being childhood friends.
I sighed again and stepped into the hallway. I saw a girl peeking into the classroom.
Oh. I guess I will talk to her.
“Hey there, girl. You’re really cute. Want to grab a drink with me?”
“Awawa, I-I have things to do… oh, wait, it’s you, Onii-san. You scared me.”
She puffed up her cheeks as if to act upset, but it only made her look even cuter.
Also, her chest is big.
“My bad. I was just surprised to see you here, Rin.”
“Ugh. Even though I say this myself, I am really shy with people, so please be nice to me.”
“So why is a shy girl like you here? You’re a year below me, so coming to the upperclassmen floor must be tough.”
“Well, Onee-chan asked me to go shopping for her, but I forgot the shopping list, so I came to get it.”
“…From Yui?”
Rin is Yui’s younger sister, one year below us.
She has neat, long black hair and is beautiful like Yui. Also, her chest is big.
“Do you know where Onee-chan is?”
“Yeah, if you mean Yui, I think she’s on the rooftop.”
“The rooftop?”
“I do not know what she wants to talk about, but she called me there too. Want to go together?”
To be honest, if it turns out to be news that she got a boyfriend, I would rather talk with Rin on the way to distract myself.
And if possible, I wish she could keep me company afterward as someone to comfort my broken heart.
“…No. I think I would only get in the way, so I will head home.”
“Are you sure? What about the shopping list?”
“It is not urgent. I will ask Onee-chan to rewrite it when she comes back.”
“I see.”
It is disappointing, but she seems firm in her decision.
“Besides, either way, it will probably end up like that in the end.”
The noise of after school drowned out her last words, so I could not hear them.
“What?”
“Ah, I said you were staring at my chest too much. Girls notice things like that.”
“O-oh… sorry. But if it embarrasses you, you did not have to say it.”
“Quiet. Just hurry up and go to the rooftop. A guy who makes a girl wait will not be popular.”
“Okay… and do not run in the hallw—yeah, she is already gone.”
Rin said what she wanted to say and ran off with her face bright red.
Unlike her sociable sister, Rin is shy and modest, but when they get embarrassed, they blush in exactly the same way.
Depending on how the conversation goes, my relationship with Yui will probably change. I have no idea what will happen.
Even though I did not want to, I could not avoid this, so I walked up the stairs slowly.
The sun was setting, and with each floor I climbed, there were fewer people. Only the distant shouts of sports clubs echoed in the quiet hallways.
And then the moment arrived.
I gathered my courage and opened the rooftop door.
“I have been waiting, Kou-kun.”
“Yui.”
She stood there alone with a serious expression.
Completely alone.
So maybe this is not a boyfriend announcement.
No, the blond guy could still jump out with a prank sign. I could not relax.
“Um… where should I start?”
“Why are you shy?”
I was terrified inside, though.
“B-because…”
“It is fine. I have an idea, so just tell me honestly.”
“R-really? So you already figured it out… That is embarrassing.”
She looked cute.
In the past I would have thought so and nothing more. But the me who just experienced NTR is different now.
I could already see the emotional collapse waiting ahead. I could not let myself soften.
“Then I will say it. Kou-kun.”
“A-alright… come on!”
I prepared myself. A new lover. A new boyfriend. A confession that she had been playing around. I was ready for anything.
“I have always loved you. I want to date you and kiss you and make children with you. Ah, I bit my tongue.”
“…What?”
What did she just say.
“I have loved you since kindergarten.”
No. Stop.
“If you want, we could go to my house after this…”
That was—
“That is not right.”
Yui froze.
“Eh… Kou-kun?”
“Date? Loved me all this time? Since kindergarten? No. That is not right.”
“Why are you angry?”
She looked honestly confused.
Did she think I did not see her yesterday? Happily walking arm in arm with that blond guy before coming here to confess to me today?
That is not right.
“Yui. Yesterday. Where were you.”
“I went to buy clothes at the mall, and around evening… wait, did you see?”
“I saw you going into your house. You looked really happy, holding onto a blond guy.”
“Th-that…”
“You can explain it, right? The reason you brought a guy into your house the day before telling me you have loved me for years.”
“Ah… um…”
“…”
Her face went completely pale. She was trembling.
But right now, nothing she says will change anything.
The fact that she could not deny it directly meant everything.
I see.
So that is what I meant to you.
“…I am sorry.”
“It is fine already.”
“W-wait. Please listen.”
Yui fell to her knees and cried on the cold rooftop floor.
Even then, she did not deny it.
“If you are crying like that, dropping to your knees… why do you not deny it? You could have said I saw wrong. You could have said he was just a friend. If you said that, maybe I could have still believed you. I could have let myself be fooled.”
Even if it was obviously false, even if she had betrayed me, I would have looked away.
That is how much the ten years we spent together meant.
If Yui chose another man and could be happy, maybe someday I could have accepted it.
I had prepared myself for that.
So why.
“Why. Why did it have to be like this.”
“I do not want to lie.”
…What?
“Then explain everything. Who he is. What you are to each other. What you did yesterday.”
“…I cannot. I cannot explain anything about yesterday.”
What is she talking about?
“I cannot explain and I do not want to lie, but my love for you is real. I truly love you. That part is not a lie. Please believe only that.”
“What part am I supposed to believe? You brought a man home. You will not explain. You will not lie. But your feelings for me are real? In this situation where nothing makes sense? Do not expect me to accept that.”
“I really love you, Kou-kun. Truly, seriously. I only have you.”
“Then why did you do that.”
Yui stayed kneeling and only cried.
What am I supposed to do.
“Damn it.”
The sound of her crying filled the rooftop.
I could not understand anything anymore. I did not know what I wanted or what I should do.
My emotions were twisted into a mess, and before I realized it, tears were already falling.
I ran away from Yui, ran down the school stairs, ran all the way home, and collapsed on my bed.
Even then, the tears did not stop.
“Onii-san. Has Onee-chan come here?”
“Huh…”
The next morning, before the sun had fully risen, Rin rang my doorbell.
She told me that Yui had not come home since last night.
“Why… damn it!”
“Onii-san!?”
I heard Rin calling from behind me, but I ignored her and ran.
My emotions were still tangled, and I had not slept properly yesterday or today.
I still had no idea what I wanted to do or what I should do.
I was going to search for Yui and meet her, but I could not think of a single thing to say to her.
Even so, without hesitation, I headed for the school rooftop the moment I heard Rin’s words.
Could she still be there since yesterday, crouching in that same spot?
Knowing Yui, it was possible.
But honestly… I almost hoped she had gone to that blond guy’s house instead.
If that were the case, I would not have to feel guilty toward her.
I could resent her freely.
So please…
“Yui!!”
I passed a few people in the school since it was early morning, but no one had seen her.
I opened the rooftop door with a faint hope, but Yui was not there either.
“Where are you, Yui…”
“Onii… san.”
Rin climbed the stairs behind me, out of breath.
“Rin…”
“Onee-chan has not come home since last night. She will not answer her phone, and her LINE messages are not being read.”
“You’re kidding…”
Had it been since that moment yesterday…
But why did not matter anymore.
Even in a safe countryside town, disappearances and crimes still happen sometimes.
And Yui is more than pretty enough to be targeted.
It would not be strange if she was caught up in something.
I heard an ambulance siren in the distance.
Was it because I left her alone yesterday?
“Is this… my fault?”
“Onii-san? Do you know something?”
“…Yeah.”
Not only did I know. I was probably the cause.
My phone.
Rin might not get a reply, but maybe Yui would respond to me.
I sent her a message quickly, but it was not read.
She did not answer the phone either.
What should I do?
“Yesterday, you said Onee-chan called you to the rooftop. What happened?”
“That is…”
“Please explain.”
“…Yeah. The truth is…”
While the warm morning air drifted on the rooftop, I told Rin everything that had happened, including the man from the day before yesterday who started it all.
I prayed that the ambulance siren echoing in the distance had nothing to do with us.
Yui.
I ran. I ran harder than I ever had in my life.
And I searched.
For my childhood friend.
“If she is anywhere, it has to be there.”
And I decided… after this is over, I will end our childhood friend relationship.
Even if others forgive her, I cannot.
It was just sentiment.
My own feelings.
No matter how this ended, we would never return to how we were.
I understood that clearly.
Maybe that too was childhood friend intuition.
“…Yui.”
“Ko… Kou-kun…?”
She was there.
In a small tin-roofed hut deep in the mountains.
“Do you remember? When we were little, we pretended the weeds here were herbs and sticks were the hero’s sword.”
That was when we were in elementary school.
“We even brought a lantern from home and spent a night here once.”
Maybe that was in middle school.
This rundown hut had been our secret base.
Rin was an indoor type, so she did not know this place.
It belonged only to Yui and me.
That is why I thought if Yui was anywhere, she would be here. And I was relieved to be right.
She really had not changed.
“Ahaha… Kou-kun is being kind. This must be a hallucination.”
“It is not a hallucination… I…”
“Kou-kun would never be kind to me. Kou-kun hates lies. Because your mother who died lied that she would get better.”
“…Yeah.”
I know now she said it for my sake.
Even so, I still hate lies.
I know she cried because she did not want to die. I know she wanted to see who I would marry someday.
I know she regretted lying and feared I would resent her.
That is why I hate lies.
“So you hate me too for keeping a secret.”
“I do not hate you.”
“That is a lie.”
“I am telling you it is not a lie. I hate lies more than anything.”
So it was the truth.
I had never stopped caring for Yui.
“So… please hand that to me.”
“No.”
“Please… give me the hatchet.”
She was holding a large gray-bladed hatchet.
The kind that could split wood cleanly.
It made sense for a mountain hut to have one.
“Then will you kill me, Kou-kun?”
“Why…”
“I lost you. There is no meaning in living. But I cannot explain. Never.”
“I understand. So…”
“Then kill me.”
“What…?”
Several deep cuts were carved into her wrists, and blood was flowing.
It might not be fatal yet, but it was dangerous if untreated.
While I slept and worried about pointless things, I had driven her this far.
The fact that she was alive was a miracle.
If she had swung that hatchet at her neck instead…
I trembled at the thought.
“The wrist wasn’t enough. So cut my neck. If you’re the one killing me, I don’t care if it’s an illusion.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Kou-kun?”
“I’m sorry. This was all my fault.”
“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one at fault.”
No. Yui wasn’t wrong.
All of this was my fault.
“I heard everything from Rin.”
“What…?”
“That blond guy was Rin in disguise, right?”
Rin told me when we talked on the rooftop.
She used to be bullied in elementary school because she was shy.
After that, she avoided everyone except Yui and me, and threw herself into anime and manga, into fiction.
At first she was fine just watching and drawing, but eventually she wanted to become a character herself.
So she started cosplaying.
But she was embarrassed, so she asked Yui to keep it secret.
I happened to see her coming home from a cosplay event one day.
“I hate lies, so I couldn’t pretend I didn’t see. But you also didn’t want to break your promise to Rin. So I ended up pushing Yui into a corner instead.”
“…”
She didn’t lie for my sake, and she didn’t break her promise for her sister’s sake.
Someone cruel might say she should have exposed her sister’s secret if it meant staying loved.
But she chose the truth.
She protected her sister to the end.
Wasn’t that honesty the reason I fell in love with her?
“So you didn’t do anything wrong. I was jealous, angry, and I ran without listening. This was all my fault. I am really sorry.”
I pressed my head to the ground.
My forehead split and blood came out, but I didn’t care.
“I should have trusted you no matter what. We’re childhood friends.”
The words felt shallow.
After pushing her this far, what right did I have to say that?
No.
Think about Yui first. Regret later.
“Kou-kun, your blood…”
“I don’t think you’ll forgive me. I know nothing can be undone.”
So I have to take responsibility.
If I do not give something up myself, this will not end.
Even if she forgives me, I cannot forgive myself.
“I know this is selfish, but… please settle this with one arm.”
“What… one arm? What are you saying?”
“Like I said. Give me the hatchet.”
“No! What are you planning to do!?”
The wound on her arm is deep. It will leave a scar.
It will burden her when she loves someone, marries, or has a child.
Someone will say something cruel one day.
“I scarred you before you even got married. One arm might not be enough, but I will cut it off. That will be my responsibility.”
“I don’t want that! I don’t want to see you hurt! That wouldn’t make me happy!”
“This was all I had. I am sorry. I made you cry again.”
“Again… what do you mean?”
“I probably won’t be allowed to stay near you anymore.”
Our parents will find out. They will separate us.
Nothing I do will stop that.
I hurt her heart and body that much.
“Kou-kun, you idiot!”
“What!?”
I tried to raise my head, but she pinned me down.
“What are you—”
“I know what you are thinking. And maybe you are right. But I will not let you run away.”
“What?”
“I got hurt because of you, and I was shocked when you yelled.”
“So, that’s—”
“But I don’t want you hurt.”
This is not about happiness.
“So if you really regret it… then get engaged to me.”
“…Huh?”
How did it turn into that.
“You feel guilty, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So you should compensate me.”
Compensation?
“Give me your life. In return, you can do whatever you want with my body.”
“No, that clearly benefits me…”
More than I can say.
“Well, if you refuse, I will live alone forever with this scar. Ahh, and you can live happily without worrying.”
“Fine!! Do whatever you want. Everything I am is yours.”
Yui will not back down.
She is stubborn.
I guess we both are.
“Oh, and no smelling me. I did not bathe yesterday.”
“Then I am sweaty from running here.”
“Hmm. A rich aroma.”
“Do not smell me either!”
“You are mine now. So I will do as I please.”
Damn it.
This childhood friend.
“Ah, since we are this close, things are kind of touching…”
She is holding me down while I kneel.
“Hehe… should we make a baby right now?”
“We are not!!”
The paramedics rushed in soon after hearing me yell.
The situation was concluded as a quarrel between childhood friends, and Yui’s wound was blamed on a boar attack.
Or so it ended.
The paramedics and police were doubtful, but they could not argue when Yui insisted.
As youth goes, it was chaotic, but it ended.
I did grow closer to Yui, but now the engagement is moving forward, I found secret photos of me in her room, and she puts hair and blood into food as a trend, so things are difficult. I will watch over her so this never happens again.
That is how I will take responsibility.
Author: 霧山はるな (Kiriyama Haruna)