Eri’s Regret
Eri’s PoV
I buy food at the convenience store and return to my usual, empty home.
“I’m home.”
I can’t break out of my old habits. Even when I say hello, no one responds.
I realize I’m now the opposite of happy.
“Let’s make udon.”
If you cook and eat the right amount of vegetables and meat, you won’t die. I’ve been doing this since I started living alone in high school. For the past three years, I’ve never had the pleasure of eating. As long as I had the minimum sustenance, I didn’t care.
Aside from seeing Kondo-kun, I did only the bare minimum to get through life. Except for the time I spent with him, I was nothing more than a zombie.
I lost everything.
I was an honor student until junior high school. I had many friends, and I dated my childhood friend, Endo Kazuki. He was smart and someone I was always proud of.
He and I were always a good couple, and I thought we were destined to be together forever.
But I was the one who ruined that promised happiness…
Kondo-kun and I ended up in the same class during our third year of junior high school. He was the ace of the soccer team, excelled in his studies, and was always at the center of attention.
I told myself I would always love my childhood friend and only see Kondo-kun as a good friend.
But when we shared a class, we naturally grew closer. He was good at studying and patiently helped me with math problems I struggled with.
Those small moments brought us closer. Unlike the clumsy Kazuki, Kondo-kun was open-minded and easy to talk to. I couldn’t believe we were the same age. I let my guard down, and before I knew it, I had given him everything—and landed myself in this hell.
But now I know better. It’s all my fault. I tried to avoid acknowledging it, but the worst person in this story is me.
My parents have nearly disowned me. They pay for my tuition and living expenses through high school, but they’ve made it clear that beyond that, I’m on my own.
My childhood friends said, “How could you do such a terrible thing? If you loved Endo-kun… you wouldn’t have done something so cruel!” They isolated me.
I think their reaction is natural. But without my parents’ support, it’s hard to even consider going to college or vocational school. The dream I had of becoming a teacher is slipping away because of this affair.
I heard that Kazuki was so devastated he couldn’t even take his high school entrance exam. Now, he’s repeating a grade.
I was relieved when he enrolled in the same high school as me. I knew I shouldn’t have felt that way after what I did, but I foolishly clung to the hope that maybe he could save me from this hell.
But I quickly realized it was just a dream.
Whenever I passed him in the hallway, he would only look at me coldly—like I was nothing but filth.
I can no longer see his kind smile, the one that used to be just for me. In the end, I realized that Kondo-kun was the only one left for me. The symbol of my happiness is now so far away, beyond my reach.
But Kondo-kun treated me like a toy.
We dated briefly in junior high, but he dumped me almost immediately.
It was a love I had risked everything for, so I couldn’t give it up. I had sacrificed my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my dreams, my future—everything—for that love.
I had dedicated my entire youth to Kondo-kun.
And all that remains is this hell.
I’m well aware that he has other women. In fact, I’ve seen it with my own eyes several times.
But I’ve always believed he would come back to me—to the woman who gave him everything. But…
A few minutes ago, an envelope arrived in my mailbox that shattered that fragile dream.
It was a photo of him leaving a hotel with another woman, looking genuinely happy.
If it had been just that, I might have endured it. But around his neck was the matching necklace I had bought for him in junior high. It felt like he was deliberately stomping on my feelings. I realized then that my youth had meant nothing to him—it was merely his possession.
I cannot forgive him. And I cannot forgive myself.
I can’t forgive myself for betraying the people I cared about.
Let’s die.
The thread stretched to its limit has finally snapped. Because beyond this point, there’s no hope left.
But I cannot be the only one to go to hell.
The person who created this hell must come with me…
At least one last time, I can be myself…